Miss March (2009) 7/10

Starring : Zach Cregger, Trevor Moore, Raquel Alessi, Molly Stanton, Craig Robinson
Director : Zach Cregger & Trevor Moore
Running Time : 94 mins

On the night he plans to consummate his relationship with his long-term girlfriend Cindi Whitehall (Alessi), Eugene Bell (Cregger) falls down a flight of stairs and is put into a four year coma. When he wakes up he is horrified to discover that his once pure high school sweetheart is now a Playboy centerfold, and he embarks on a road trip with his best friend Tucker Cleigh (Moore) to track her down.

This was surprisingly enjoyable for such a gross out comedy. It is filled with silly jokes that teenagers will enjoy, and harks back to the day of American Pie. Sadly these movies are all too common, and the audience for them has started to die out, but if you get a chance do watch this for some guilty pleasure funny moments.

You’ll like this if you liked : Kickin It Old Skool

Classic Friday : Carry On Camping (1969) 7/10

Starring : Sid James, Bernard Bresslaw, Joan Sims, Kenneth Williams, Barbara Windsor, Hattie Haqcues
Director : Gerald Thomas
Running Time : 85 mins

Sid Boggle (James) and Bernie Lugg (Bresslaw) decide to take their girlfriends camping, planning on getting them to a nudist camp for a little bit of nudey fun, but when they end up at the wrong campsite they find themselves surrounded by a group of incredibly unlikely campers, including a gang of hippies and a coach load of sex-starved school girls.

This movie took the summer of 69 and gave it a distinctly British twist. Filled with moments of total political incorrectness, this classic bawdy movie still looks as appealing today as it did forty years ago. Containing some of the Carry On teams most famous scenes, including the infamous scene where Barbara Windsor loses her top, this is one of the most popular of the series, although definitely not the best.

You’ll like this if you liked : Carry On Behind

GI Joe The Rise Of Cobra (2009) 6/10

Starring : Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols, Marlon Wayans, Christopher Eccleston, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Dennis Quaid
Director : Stephen Sommers
Running Time : 118 mins

James McCullen (Eccleston) has created a weapon based on nanotechnology, and two military soldiers, Duke (Tatum) and Ripcord (Wayans) are ambushed by a terrorist organization known as Cobra when delivering it to a military base. Another group, known as GI Joe, stops the team of hijackers and prevents them from getting their hands on the weapon, and when Duke reveals that he knows the real identity of one of the terrorists, known as The Baroness (Miller), the two are invited to join GI Joe.

This was a pretty predictable and standard action movie that does nothing to surprise its audience, but action lovers and fans of the toys and cartoons from the 1980s might enjoy this revamped trip down memory lane. Most of the actors put in an acceptable performance (aside from Wayans who is as annoying as ever), and the plot is reasonably simple for kids to follow, so give it a go if you have two hours spare to switch off and zone out.

You’ll like this if you liked : Transformers

Harold (2008) 7/10

Starring : Spencer Breslin, Ally Sheedy, Nikki Blonsky, Cuba Gooding Jr
Director : T Sean Shannon
Running Time : 94 mins

After years of trying to be accepted by his school friends, Harold (Breslin) finds his world turned upside down when his mother (Sheedy) decides to move the family to a new town, which means a new school and further explanations about his problem with early onset male pattern baldness.

For a film with such a silly notion, this was pretty hit and miss. There were some funny deadpan moments, and Breslin has the character of Harold – a young boy with an old man’s attitude to match his hairline – down to a tee. Gooding seemed out of place in this movie, and seems to be taking something of a nose dive in the career stakes, but those who like good old fashioned comedy movies with predictable but desirable storylines will thoroughly enjoy this little gem.

You’ll like this if you liked : Drillbit Taylor

Whatever Works (2009) 5/10

Starring : Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson
Director : Woody Allen
Running Time : 92 mins

Boris Yellnikoff (David) is a miserable man who spends his days droning on about the worthlessness of life to anyone who will listen, so when he meets Melodie St Ann Celestine (Wood), a young impressionable woman from the South who convinces him to let her stay at his place, he finds himself foisting his ideas onto her as they slowly decide that maybe being together would be the best thing for them both.

Woody Allen movies, to my mind, are notoriously hit and miss, but this was mostly miss. With Larry David doing a poor impression of Allen, I felt myself cringing as I watched an actor and writer that I usually really enjoy sell himself out to Hollywood. The script was very familiar, as if Allen is running out of ideas and stealing his old ones, and the characters were largely unlikeable. I’d recommend avoiding this movie.

You’ll like this if you liked : Anything Else

Trailer Park Boys The Movie (2006) 7/10

Starring : Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay, Mike Smith
Director : Mike Clattenburg
Running Time : 95 mins

After a stint in prison, Trailer Park Boys Ricky (Wells), Julian (Tremblay) and Bubbles (Smith) come up with a cunning idea to make some much needed money – by stealing a huge amount of untraceable coins so that they can quit their life of crime and finally settle down and go straight.

If you just think of this as an extension of the television show then this is a very enjoyable movie. Granted, it doesn’t have a cinematic feel to it, and feels like it should have just been a TV movie, but like the film of Reno 9-11 this was just as effective for people who had never seen the show. There’s some nice dry humour, but don’t expect any raucous laugh-out-loud moments.

You’ll like this if you liked : Postal

Moon (2009) 8/10

Starring : Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey, Dominique McElligott
Director : Duncan Jones
Running Time : 94 mins

Sam Bell (Rockwell) is an astronaut who has been charged with delivering a renewal source of energy from the moon to the Earth, and has been doing so for three years. His only wish is to get back to Earth to be with his wife Tess (McElligott) and his daughter who was born just before he left, but when he suffers an accident and is informed by the ships computer, GERTY (Spacey), that a rescue team is on its way to help him, he starts to suspect that something unusual is happening on the station.

I really enjoyed this – in spite of its overly basic plot and pretty much singular cast member, this was a thoroughly engrossing science fiction flick with enough going on to keep the viewer occupied. Rockwell is perfect as the astronaut who slowly thinks he’s going insane, while the voice of Spacey lends the movie a real 2001 A Space Odyssey feel.

You’ll like this if you liked : Solaris

Classic Friday : Pom Poko (1994) 8/10

Starring : Maurice LaMarche, Clancy Brown, Olivia D’Abo, JK Simmons
Director : Isao Takahata
Running Time : 116 mins

A group of racoons living in a Japanese forest discover that their home might be in danger from construction workers who plan to level their home in order to build new buildings for the humans, so they use their abilities to shape change and transform into other things in an attempt to frighten away the prospective builders.

This is a lovely little movie that will entertain the whole family. The plot is both basic and intelligent, with a moral message concerning the destruction of natural habits by man. It isn’t a preachy movie, thankfully, and the characters will entice youngsters to try and care more for the environment thanks to their simple message.

You’ll like this if you liked : Ferngully : The Last Rainforest

2012 (2009) 8/10

Starring : John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton, Oliver Platt, Thomas McCarthy
Director : Roland Emmerich
Running Time : 158 mins

Adrian Helmsley (Ejiofor) receives information that the temperature of the Earth is slowly increasing at an alarming rate – a rate that will eventually lead to catastrophes of epic proportions. Soon, Helmsley is working for the President, but it isn’t long before he realises that the expected date of disaster has been grossly underestimated and that the whole of the world is only moments away from destruction.

Action fans will love this tour de force of a movie that basically hurls one crash after another at the viewer. There’s a very slow start to the movie, but after about 45 minutes the action is non-stop! Granted, most of the characters are either one dimensional or purposely go against their nature, but in spite of these obvious character developments this is still a very entertaining action flick.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Day After Tomorrow

Hannibal (2001) 7/10

Starring : Anthony Hopkins, Julianne Moore, Gary Oldman, Ray Liotta, Frankie Faison
Director : Ridley Scott
Running Time : 126 mins

Ten years since Hannibal Lector (Hopkins) has been on the run from the FBI, former victim Mason Verger (Oldman) puts a bounty out on the deranged doctor’s head after being left hideously deformed by one Lector’s sick cannibalistic games. In order to bring the doctor out of hiding, Verger uses his political contacts to have FBI agent Clarice Starling (Moore) reassigned to the Lector case.

This was something of a weak sequel, with Starling feeling like a completely different character, and not just due to the actress change. Granted, ten years have passed since Starling first met Lector, but her personality seems to have gone through something of a drastic metamorphosis. I was glad that the director didn’t use the ending of the novel, which always bugged me, but the ending here is pretty weak, and really should have been a little more dramatic.

You’ll like this if you liked : Red Dragon

Fanboys (2008) 8/10

Starring : Sam Huntington, Chris Marquette, Dan Fogler, Kristen Bell
Director : Kyle Newman
Running Time : 90 mins

It’s 1998, and when one of their friends announces that he is dying, a group of young Star Wars fans decide to go on a road trip to George Lucas’s house so that they can break in and see the new Star Wars movie before their buddy dies. Along the way they meet other fans of the movies, and also face off against their dreaded enemies – The Trekkers!

This is such a great movie; I’m shocked it doesn’t seem to have had a general release in the UK. There are some great in jokes about how bad the reception for The Phantom Menace was going to be, and how characters such as Jar Jar Binks would be deemed the worst ever created in Science Fiction. I especially like the final line of the movie; a line that is well worth the wait.

You’ll like this if you liked : EuroTrip

Good Night, And Good Luck. (2005) 6/10

Starring : George Clooney, David Straitharn, Robert Downey Jr, Patricia Clarkson, Frank Langella
Director : George Clooney
Running Time : 90 mins

Two reporters, Edward R Murrow (Straitharn) and Fred W Friendly (Clooney), horrified by the paranoia of the American government where it concerns Communism, decide to confront Senator Joseph McCarthy live on air in order to prove to the American public that all of his rants are simply fear mongering at its worst.

Although this is an enlightening and at some points cleverly put together movie, it’s just too slow for my liking and really felt like it vastly exceeded the 90 minute runtime. The acting is fine, and the visuals suit it well, but the fact that it’s just so tedious – considering the issue it’s addressing – this drastically hinders its viewability.

You’ll like this if you liked : W.

9 (2009) 9/10

Starring : Elijah Wood, Martin Landau, Christopher Plummer, John C Reilly, Jennifer Connelly, Crispin Glover
Director : Shane Acker
Running Time : 80 mins

A mechanical doll known only as 9 9Wood) awakens to find himself alone in a post-apocalyptic world where humanity has come under threat from giant mechanical monsters. Soon he meets others of his kind, all of whom are numbered as he is, and discovers that the machines have been stealing their souls in order to power another even greater machine known as Brain.

This was a very enjoyable thriller of a cartoon, which will both enthral and frighten children with its intense action sequences. I can imagine many children being quite scared when the dolls have their souls removed, and as such there is quite a lot of death in this movie. A definite must for kids who can handle the violence, but parents might want to watch this with them, not just because it’s so good but also to make sure it isn’t too scary for the youngsters.

You’ll like this if you liked : Coraline

Classic Friday : Jason Lives : Friday The 13th Part VI (1986) 6/10

Starring : Thom Mathews, Jennifer Cooke, David Kagen
Director : Tom McLoughlin
Running Time : 87 mins

Tommy Jarvis (Mathews), the little boy who killed Jason Voorhees, still can’t believe that Jason is truly dead, so he and a friend go to where Jason is buried and dig him up to ensure he really is gone, but when they plunge a metal pole into his corpse to double check and it gets struck by lightning, Jason is revived bigger, badder and stronger than ever before.

This is the Jason movie that turned him into an unstoppable killing machine. From here on out people have all sorts of weapons to use against the killer, but now that he’s a supernatural being he can’t be stopped. There are some very funny moments, but by this point in the series the idea was starting to wear thin, even with the extra influx of uber violence.

You’ll like this if you liked : Jason X

Zombieland (2009) 9/10

Starring : Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin
Director : Ruben Fleishcer
Running Time : 85 mins

Two nameless survivors (Eisenberg & Harrelson) of a zombie apocalypse join forces in their efforts to travel across the country on their individual missions: one to locate his parents, the other to locate the worlds last surviving Twinkie. On their way they meet two sisters (Stone & Breslin), both of whom continually get in their way by stealing their vehicles and leaving them stranded.

This was a very entertaining comedy, with just enough violence to keep zombie fans hooked. The whole idea isn’t particularly original, with everyone and their mother making either zombie or vampire movies nowadays, but this manages to remain engrossing for the full duration, even in the long periods where there are no zombie attacks.

You’ll like this if you liked : Shaun Of The Dead

The Alphabet Killer (2008) 6/10

Starring : Eliza Dushku, Cary Elwes, Timothy Hutton
Director : Ron Schmidt
Running Time : 99 mins

Megan Paige (Dushku) is a police officer who suffers for schizophrenia, causing her to suffer from hallucinations and strange behaviour which ultimately causes her to lose her job, but two years after her dismissal she is called back in to help investigate a double murder in Rochester, New York, and she decides to prove her worth with or without the help of the police.

This was a very strange movie, with Dushku’s character being very difficult to deal with as a likeable person. There’s a reasonable plot and some nice twists, but the overall feel of the movie is dissatisfying in some ways due to the open ended nature of the story it’s based on. Fans of procedural crime dramas will no doubt find something to like in this, and fans of Duchku will be glad to know that there is some brief nudity from the actress. Worth watching, but at times this is confusing.

You’ll like this if you liked : Zodiac

Kabluey (2007) 7/10

Starring : Lisa Kudrow, Scott Prendergast, Christine Taylor
Director : Scott Prendergast
Running Time : 87 mins

With her husband fighting in Iraq, Leslie (Prendergast) is forced to contact her inept brother in law Salman (Kudrow) to help her take care of her badly behaved sons as she can’t afford day care, but when Leslie decides that Salman needs to start pulling his weight in other ways, she forces him to take a job as the mascot for her company, handing out flyers on the motorway.

This is a very downbeat movie that has Prendergast being treated incredibly badly by his sister in law, even though he is doing his level best to help her out. The ending was perfect, with a more realistic conclusion than the expected Hollywood ending, and the scenes with Prendergast in the giant blue suit really make this very watchable without being too sickly sweet.

You’ll like this if you liked : Last Chance Harvey

The TV Set (2006) 7/10

Starring : David Duchovny, Sigourney Weaver, Ioan Gruffudd, Judy Greer
Director : Jake Kadan
Running Time : 89 mins

Mike Klein (Duchovny) can’t believe his luck when his TV script gets picked up for a pilot episode – if this is successful he’ll get a full series and perhaps even syndication – but when he finds out the changes they want to make to his pride and joy he has to choose between his professional standing and his desire for success.

This is a very knowing and very insightful glimpse into the world of the television show. I love the continuing need by the executives to change the idea that they liked in the first place to something less effective and simply not as good. Fans of documentary style movies will like this nod to the world of TV and will find many of the situations both funny and disturbingly sad, and the ambiguous ending really leaves you thinking…

You’ll like this if you liked : For Your Consideration

Up (2009) 9/10

Starring : Ed Asner, Christopher Plummer, Jordan Nagai, Bob Peterson
Director : Pete Docter
Running Time : 97 mins

Carl Frederickson (Asner) is a widower shoes home is due to be demolished to make way for a new development, so he ties a large number of balloons to his house and sets off in search of adventure in South America. Unfortunately he has a stowaway in the form of Eagle Scout Russell (Nagai), and together they find themselves fighting against talking dogs and an evil explorer named Charles Muntz (Plummer).

This is a lovely family movie which is filled with both sadness and joy as Carl Frederickson attempts to fulfil his lifelong dreams now that his wife has died. The characters are well fleshed out and the comedy is not too over the top and makes for some very light-hearted viewing. Fans of Pixar’s work to date will not be disappointed.

You’ll like this if you liked : Toy Story

Classic Friday : The Bellboy (1960) 7/10

Starring : Jerry Lewis, Alex Gerry
Director : Jerry Lewis
Running Time : 72 mins

Stanley (Lewis) works as a bellboy at the luxurious Fountainbleau Hotel in Miami Beach, where he spends his days quietly getting into trouble and getting everything wrong as he attempts to carry out his increasingly problematic duties.

This silly yet simple movie arose quite early on in Jerry Lewis’s solo career. Here he harps back to the silent era by producing a movie with little or no talking – something that would have no doubt improved the international success of the flick – and enough slapstick to keep the most hardened comedy fan satisfied. Lewis fans will love his visual slapstick comedy routines while those who aren’t too familiar with his work will find this a very accessible comedy masterpiece.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Plank

Blood The Last Vampire (2009) 7/10

Starring : Gianna, Allison Miller, Liam Cunningham
Director : Chris Nahon
Running Time : 87 mins

Saya (Gianna), a half-human vampire who works for a secret government agency that hunts down and eradicates demons, is sent undercover as a student in a Japan based military school to find out if any of the students there are actually demons, but what she finds is a link to her past and the demon that is the father of all vampires.

Definitely not the best vampire movie, this remake of the classic Japanese Anime has had its length doubled and its storyline watered down. The action scenes are impressive, and the opening scene is pretty much the same as the cartoon blow for blow, but something along the way has been spoiled. Perhaps it’s the weak special effects, particularly on the demon effects.

You’ll like this if you liked : Blade Trinity

The Promotion (2008) 8/10

Starring : Seann William Scott, John C Reilly, Jenna Fischer, Lili Taylor
Director : Steve Conrad
Running Time : 86 mins

Doug Stauber (Scott) has been waiting years to be promoted from his current position as assistant manager at a large Chicago supermarket, so when he hears that a new branch is opening in his neighbourhood he can’t believe his luck. But when Richard Wehlner (Reilly) turns up from Canada, a man with more experience than Doug who also wants the job as manager, Doug realises that he may have to resort to drastic measures to ensure his success.

This is such an under rated comedy that doesn’t even appear to have had a release in the UK. Scott and Reilly are wonderful and neither one overplays the comedy as you might expect. It’s a simple story that has some great characterisation and some great comedy moments, and someone should really get this movie a DVD release over here so that everyone can enjoy it.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Ex

Ghost Ship (2002) 7/10

Starring : Gabriel Byrne, Julianna Margulies, Ron Eldard, Desmond Harrington, Isaiah Washington, Emily Browning
Director : Steve Beck
Running Time : 91 mins

When a group of salvage workers find an Italian cruise liner, the Antonia Graza, that’s been missing for 40 years, they can’t believe their luck, and when they find is filled with millions of dollars in gold things couldn’t look better. Unfortunately the ship appears to be haunted, and the salvage crew start seeing spooky things loitering around, things that could get them killed…

I was surprised that I enjoyed this movie. I expected it to be rubbish, but when the guests on the ocean liner get killed I actually started laughing. Granted the gore is a little overplayed, and some of the plot isn’t really explained in any great detail, but overall it has the right level of scares to keep any horror fan entertained for ninety minutes.

You’ll like this if you liked : Event Horizon

Dracula 2000 (2000) 5/10

Starring : Gerard Butler, Christopher Plummer, Jonny Lee Miller, Justine Waddell
Director : Patrick Lussier
Running Time : 99 mins

When some thieves break into a vault in search of valuables, they accidentally release the infamous Count Dracula (Butler), who decides to seek revenge against his arch nemesis Van Helsing (Plummer) by abducting his daughter Mary (Waddell) and transforming her into one of his kind.

This is yet another terrible vampire movie to add to the endless list of terrible vampire movies. Gerard Butler isn’t too bad (he should stick to action movies as his rom-coms are pretty bad), and there is a good selection of saucy vampire ladies, but overall the movie is just too cheap looking and dull to be anything more than average.

You’ll like this if you liked : Blade Trinity

I Love You, Man (2009) 8/10

Starring : Paul Rudd, Rashida Jones, Jason Segel
Director : John Hamburg
Running Time : 105 mins

Peter Klaven (Rudd) has spent most of his life either concentrating on his work in real estate or his various relationships with women, so when he finally decides to propose to his girlfriend Zooey (Jones), he realises that he has no male friends he can call upon to take the part of Best Man. This inspires Peter to start searching for male friends on line – a disastrous task – but when he meets Sydney Fife (Segal) at an open house, he finally thinks he’s met the perfect guy for him.

In spite of having heard some pretty poor reviews for this movie (largely from people I know), I actually really enjoyed it. At points I did get worried that Segal was going to screw Rudd over and steal loads of his money, or that there’d been some major twist where their friendship was all a set up, but instead we get a comparatively sweet comedy about friendship and how easy sometimes it can be.

You’ll like this if you liked : I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry