Vampires Suck (2010) 2/10

Starring : Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Chris Riggi, Diedrich Bader
Director : Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer
Running Time : 80 mins

When Becca Crane (Proske) moves to a new town with her dad, the Sheriff (Bader), she falls for high school loner Edward Sullen (Lanter). She soon discovers that Edward is a sparkling vampire, and he life is forever changed and put in permanent danger from other vampires that want her dead.

Basically this is a remake of Twilight with more sexual references and lots more scenes of people falling over. Friedberg and Seltzer need to get a new job, because their parody movies are getting even worse. Fans of their previous work might even find this unpalatable as it makes little or no effort to come up with original jokes and really hurts the comedy industry with its lacklustre approach to movie making.

You’ll like this if you liked : Meet The Spartans

Drive (2011) 7/10

Starring : Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston, Albert Brooks, Ron Perlman
Director : Nicolas Winding Refn
Running Time : 99 mins

A nameless Hollywood stunt-driver (Gosling), who is trying to get away from his dodgy past as a getaway driver, is working as a car mechanic when he falls for his neighbour Irene (Mulligan), whose husband is in jail. As he is faced with being implicated in his boss’s gangland-funded race team, he also has to deal with Irene’s husband who is fresh out of prison.

This movie took a while to get going, but the performances, especially from Gosling, were solid and compelling. Although the storyline was, in my opinion, a little weak, the handling of the subject matter was done subtly and smoothly, and managed to make a heroic figure out of a character who is basically a violent thug.

You’ll like this if you liked : Eastern Promises

He Was A Quiet Man (2007) 8/10

Starring : Christian Slater, Elisha Cuthbert, William H Macy
Director : Frank A Cappello
Running Time : 96 mins

Bob Maconel (Slater) dreams of nothing more than going into work with a gun and shooting all of his horrible colleagues, but when another colleague beats him to it, he shoots the colleague and is dubbed a hero by his surviving work mates. He gets a promotion and his own office, but the girl of his dreams, Venessa Parks (Cuthbert). Who was paralysed during the gun-play, asks him to end her misery.

Slater is fantastic in this under rated movie that really manages to showcase his skills as a character actor. Cuthbert also does well in her role as a recently disabled woman trying to cope with the changes in her life, but the ending - which, if you pay attention and find all the clues makes perfect sense – is pretty confusing. Thankfully the makers don’t explain everything outright so different people might get a differing message from this intriguing drama.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Assassination Of Richard Nixon

Weekender (2011) 5/10

Starring : Jack O’Connell, Henry Lloyd-Hughes, Emily Barclay
Director : Karl Golden
Running Time : 90 mins

It’s 1990, and flatmates Dylan (O’Connell) and Matt (Lloyd-Hughes) want to cash in on the underground rave scene. They slowly start to ascend through the ranks of party promoters and soon find themselves travelling to Ibiza and Amsterdam to promote nights out, but as their success increases, they find themselves falling into an increasingly murkier world that puts a strain on their friendship as they get blackmailed and threatened from all directions.

There’s a certain type of viewer who might enjoy this, and I guess I’m not amongst them. There’s random drug-taking and nudity which might interest some people, and there is a semblance of progression to the plot, but it was just too glorifying for my liking, and I didn’t like any of the characters.

You’ll like this if you liked : It's All Gone Pete Tong

Tomorrow When The War Began (2010) 8/10

Starring : Caitlin Stasey, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Lincoln Lewis, Deniz Akdeniz, Phoebe Tonkin, Chris Pang, Ashleigh Cummings, Andrew Ryan
Director : Stuart Beattie
Running Time : 100 mins

After they return from a camping trip, a group of Australian teenagers discover that their town has been invaded by a foreign power and their families have been taken captive. The world is at war, and this disparate group of teenagers will stop at nothing to protect their country and prevent their enemy from taking over. So together they decide to fight against them and do whatever it takes to get their town back.

This is a well scripted movie with plenty of action and characters you can actually believe in. The acting is solid, people don’t die just for the sake of killing them off, and the believable characters really help to empathise with the situation. Fans of military movies will like this, but so will fans of character driven narrative.

You’ll like this if you liked : Red Dawn

The Guard (2011) 8/10

Starring : Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle, Mark Strong
Director : John Michael McDonagh
Running Time : 93 mins

Small town Irish police sergeant Gerry Boyle (Gleeson) is teamed up with FBI agent Wendell Everett (Cheadle) to help track down an international drug-smuggling ring – unfortunately he has no interest in the case until one of his fellow coppers goes missing and he starts to suspect that the smugglers may have in fact killed him.

This is actually a very entertaining, light-hearted thriller with Gleeson performing wonderfully in the lead role and Cheadle taking something of a back seat to him. The script – though over-laden with swearing – is fresh and realistic, while the storyline is intriguing nad makes for great viewing. A must for any fan of the modern thriller genre.

You’ll like this if you liked : Fargo

Faster (2010) 7/10

Starring : Dwayne Johnson, Billy Bob Thornton, Oliver Jackson-Cohen
Director : George Tillman Jr
Running Time : 98 mins

Following a decade long stint in prison, ex-con James Cullen (Johnson) decides to track down the people responsible for his brother’s death and kill them all. As he drives across the country, tracking down his victims, he is pursued by detective Slade Humphires (Thornton) who is trying to stop him and a hitman (Jackson-Cohen) who is trying to take him down.

Although this sounds like a Segal movie and feels like a Statham movie, this is actually pretty good stuff. The Kill Bill-esque story line works effectively and it has enough twists to keep itself interesting from start to finish, with Johnson putting in a worthy performance as the lead. A must for any action fan, even though it does get predictable at times.

You’ll like this if you liked : Kill Bill : Volume One

Super 8 (2011) 8/10

Starring : Joel Courtney, Elle Fanning, Riley Griffiths, Ryan Lee, Zach Mills
Director : JJ Abrams
Running Time : 112 mins

It’s 1979, and while Joe Lamb (Courtney) and his friends are making a zombie movie on their super 8 camera, they witness a train crash that almost gets them all killed. But this crash was no accident, and when the army roles into town they all soon realise that the military are trying to cover something up – something big.

This is a great movie that harkens back to the movies of the 80s such as The Goonies and Explorers that focus more on the characters than the action, but still give enough thrills to entertain even the most hardened viewer. The plot is solid, the characters are fun and the sub-plots are interesting and really make you feel for the characters. Anyone who loved Spielberg movies from the 70s and 80s will really enjoy this movie.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Goonies

After.Life (2009) 6/10

Starring : Christina Ricci, Liam Neeson, Justin Long
Director : Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo
Running Time : 103 mins

Following a terrible car accident, Anna Taylor (Ricci) wakes up in a funeral home where she is informed by an apparently psychic funeral director, Eliot Duncan (Neeson), that she has died. She appears to be trapped in the home, and finds herself having to face the fact that she is no longer alive, but her boyfriend Paul Coleman (Long) suspects that something it going on at the home and decides to investigate.

This is a tricky movie that is probably too ambiguous for its own good. The concept of whether or not Ricci is dead is a tricky one to achieve, and in many ways the double-bluff ending goes towards spoiling this effect, though if you look at it as a potential triple bluff ending then the effect is just as workable. There is a little too much filler in this movie which could have been shorter, but fans of Ricci will enjoy seeing her with her kit off.

You’ll like this if you liked : Awake

Bad Teacher (2011) 6/10

Starring : Cameron Diaz, Lucy Punch, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake
Director : Jake Kasdan
Running Time : 89 mins

Unorthodox school teacher Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz) wants nothing more than to marry her meal-ticket and then quit her hateful job, so she sets her sights on new teacher Scott Delacorte (Timberlake) - whose family come from money - but find herself faced with competition from fellow school teacher Amy Squirrel (Punch), as well as having to deal with the persistent advances of gym teacher Russell Gettis (Segal).

This could have been better, but was still reasonably entertaining. Diaz manages to play the terrible teacher perfectly, and the rest of the cast were pretty good, but there could have been a lot more put in to focussing on the school children, a few of whom are left with no real closure to their storylines.

You’ll like this if you liked : School Of Rock

Scooby-Doo! In Where’s My Mummy? (2005) 7/10

Starring : Frank Welker, Casey Kasem, Mindy Cohn, Grey DeLisle
Director : Joe Sichta
Running Time : 75 mins

In the ninth of the direct to video Scooby-Doo series, Scooby-Doo (Welker) and the gang travel to Egypt for a surprise visit to see their friend Velma Dinkley (Cohn), who is in Egypt helping to repair the Sphinx. When they encounter a group of scientists who are exploring Cleopatra’s tomb, an evil spirit is apparently unleashed and Velma is transformed into a statue!

Finally the Scooby-Doo movies seem to be finding their stride again. The mystery isn’t one of the best, but the peril and danger for small kids is much more evident, especially with Velma getting cursed by the mummy and turned to stone. It’s great the Warner Brothers hasn’t gone with the flow and turned to computer animation – I still love standard animation and Scooby-Doo looks perfect with this kind of approach.

You’ll like this if you liked : Scooby-Doo And The Alien Invaders

Johnny English Reborn (2011) 7/10

Starring : Rowan Atkinson, Gillian Anderson, Rosamund Pike, Dominic West
Director : Oliver Parker
Running Time : 102 mins

Fearless spy Johnny English (Atkinson) is called back into action from a Tibetan monastery - where he has been honing his fighting skills after a botched mission in Mozambique – to help prevent the assassination of a Chinese diplomat by the evil assassin agency Vortex.

In many ways this sequel is better than the original – there was no need to introduce us to the characters originally established in the really old Barclaycard adverts, so there is more time to develop plot and establish character. Atkinson, as always, handles both slapstick and deadpan with aplomb, and the supporting cast, who are actually given a decent plot this time around, perfectly compliment Atkinson in the lead role.

You’ll like this if you liked : Get Smart

Dirty Pretty Things (2002) 7/10

Starring : Chiwetel Ejiofor, Audrey Tautou, Sophie Okonedo
Director : Stephen Frears
Running Time : 94 mins

Nigerian illegal immigrant Owke (Ejiofor) works two jobs in his new London home; a hotel porter by day and a cabby by night. He lives secretly with Turkish immigrant Senay Gelik (Tautou), and they work at the same rundown dirty hotel. But when Okwe finds a human heart stuck down one of the hotel room toilets, he realises that there are some shadier than usual goings on going on at their place of work.

This is a sad and provocative film with some moments that are both disturbing and eye-opening. Ejiofor is brilliant in the lead role as the hard working immigrant trying to make a place for himself in London, while Tautou – although not as good – manages to bring a winning performance, especially in the scene when she’s off her head on drugs. The end of the movie is very telling, and I won’t go into it too much, but basically its moral seems to be that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side…

You’ll like this if you liked : The Crying Game

Tucker And Dale Vs Evil (2011) 9/10

Starring : Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk, Katrina Bowden
Director : Eli Craig
Running Time : 89 mins

Having purchased a holiday cabin in the woods, Tucker (Tudyk) and Dale (Labine) decide to go on a fishing trip. When they encounter a group of college kids, one of the girls, Alison (Bowden), falls in the water and hits her head, so Tucker and Dale drag her out of the water and take her back to their cabin to recuperate. But her friends, who have seen too many horror films, think that the duo plan on raping and killing her, so set about trying to rescue her with disastrous results.

This is one of the most cleverly thought out horror flick I’ve seen in a long time. Labine and Tudyk are perfect as the suspected hillbilly killers, and the many deaths of the stereotypical college kids made me laugh every time. Fans of comedy horrors will think this is absolutely brilliant and will want to watch it over and over, but be warned – if horror films and violent deaths scare you, this might not be your cup of tea.

You’ll like this if you liked : Hatchet

Greenberg (2010) 6/10

Starring : Ben Stiller, Greta Gerwig, Rhys Ifans, Chris Messina
Director : Noah Baumbach
Running Time : 107 mins

Following his release from a New York asylum, Roger Greenberg (Stiller) travels back to his home town in Los Angeles where he agrees to look after the house belonging to his brother Phillip (Messina) while he and the family are away in Vietnam. When he arrives he is met by Florence (Gerwig), Phillip’s assistant, and the two develop a strange co-dependent relationship with each other.

I can see that some people would like this movie; in many ways it was a little bit like Little Miss Sunshine. But nothing really happened, and I just wasn’t that interested in any of the characters. Fans of the sort of dramas that try to masquerade as comedies by featuring comedy actors and the odd clever line here and there will enjoy this, but otherwise steer clear.

You’ll like this if you liked : Rushmore

What’s Your Number? (2011) 7/10

Starring : Anna Faris, Chris Evans, Ari Graynor, Blythe Danner
Director : Mark Mylod
Running Time : 106 mins

When she reads an article that claims that most women who have more than twenty lovers in their past never get married, Ally Darling (Faris) decides to get back in touch with some of her ex-partners to find out if one of them might just be the one that got away.

Although this isn’t the funniest or the cleverest romantic comedy around, there are still some great comedy moments throughout. Looking back at Faris’s past relationships may seem like an obvious comedy tool, but it is used affectively and not to such an extent that it becomes the over riding force behind the movie. Fans of feel good romantic comedies will enjoy this exploration into a desperate singleton’s past.

You’ll like this if you liked : When In Rome

Never Back Down (2008) 6/10

Starring : Sean Faris, Djimon Hounsou, Amber Heard, Cam Gigandet
Director : Jeff Wadlow
Running Time : 114 mins

When Jake Tyler (Faris) moves to a new school, he finds himself embroiled in the world of underground street fighting. Realising he has no choice but to fight, he is taken under the wing of fight trainer Jean Rogua (Hounsou) who helps him hone his fighting skills so he can win over the girl of his dreams, Baja Miller (Heard), and steal her away from cowardly fighter Ryan McCarthy (Gigandet).

This movie seemed to drag on a bit, but it was basically okay. The plot does feel like it has been done over and over, but the fight scenes were pretty good and the basic storyline was watchable for the most part, although some of the characters we are supposed to like were a little bit unlikeable in my opinion.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Karate Kid