Paranormal Activity : The Marked Ones (2014) 7/10

Starring : Andrew Jacobs, Jorge Diaz, Gabrielle Walsh, Renee Victor, Noemi Gonzalez
Director : Christopher Landon
Running Time : 102 mins

After spying on his neighbour who soon turns up dead, Jesse (Jacobs) sneaks into the abandoned house and finds black magic paraphernalia. Soon strange things start to happen to him and he appears to develop telekinetic powers, and it isn’t long until he and his friends realise that he is slowly being possessed by a malevolent spirit.

It’s refreshing to have characters that aren’t connected to those in the original few movies of the series (though of course they show up towards the end), and the twist on a person being obviously possessed from the get-go made this a little more original than the previous sequels, but the found-footage theme of the series is getting a little too convenient for my liking. Fans of the series will enjoy this, but it is a little hokey in places, and some of the effects actually made me chuckle, specifically the shot-gun moments.

You’ll like this if you liked : Chronicle

Dylan Dog : Dead Of Night (2010) 7/10

Starring : Brandon Routh, Anita Briem, Sam Huntington, Taye Diggs
Director : Kevin Munroe
Running Time : 108 mins

Supernatural private investigator Dylan Dog (Routh) comes out of retirement when his partner Marcus (Huntington) is killed and turned into a zombie. The killer was a werewolf, but when the werewolf turns up dead Dylan starts to suspect that rumours of a giant killer zombie in Louisiana may be true and that a group of vampires may be responsible for a valuable artefact that has gone missing..

Fans of the comic book on which this is based have done nothing but complain about how unworthy this adaptation is, but to be fair it was okay. I wasn’t expecting much from Routh in the lead role, but he did a pretty good job as Dylan, and Huntington was likeable as the zombiefied sidekick, but I wasn’t a big fan of Briem, though thankfully this turns out to be understandable. Fans of movies like Underworld who want a lighter version to sample will like this, but fans of the comic will definitely not.

You’ll like this if you liked : Daybreakers

Curse Of Chucky (2013) 7/10

Starring : Fiona Dourif, Danielle Bisutti, Brennan Elliott, Brad Dourif
Director : Don Mancini
Running Time : 97 mins

When wheelchair bound Nica (Fiona Dourif) is forced to gather her family home for the funeral of her mother, she finds a mysterious doll which was in the house when she dies. Investigation leads her to discover that this doll is a Good Guy doll named Chucky (Brad Dourif) – the same sort of doll involved in a series of supernatural murders years earlier – and when people start to drop dead around her, she starts to suspect that the cursed doll might be responsible.

Where the other Child’s Play follow-ups have been comedy heavy, this instalment is a lot darker and just as violent. The darkness works well with such a creepy doll, and thank God that Dourif is still available to voice him. Fans of the originals will enjoy this, especially as it comes full circle and explains some elements of the original movie, but don’t expect as many wise-cracks as there were in Bride and Seed.

You’ll like this if you liked : Dead Silence

The Apparition (2012) 5/10

Starring : Ashley Greene, Sebastian Stan, Tom Felton
Director : Todd Lincoln
Running Time : 83 mins

Following an ill-conceived experiment to contact the other side by a group of students, including one named Ben (Stan), he and his girlfriend Kelly (Greene) discover that they have let an entity into their lives. Attempting to flee from Kelly’s parent’s house to avoid the spirit, the two find the spectre following them wherever they go, but the spirit has latched on to Ben and Kelly and is haunting them!

I couldn’t figure out why the spirit was following them, when it was their friend who opened the gateway to hell or whatever. He seemed to have gotten off scot free while they were terrorised. This is a pretty weak horror, and it doesn’t help that it is aimed at a younger audience with its 15 certificate and cast hailing from the likes of Twilight and Harry Potter. Fans of Paranormal Activity should probably stick with Paranormal Activity – this is more like the bad teen horrors that came along after Scream in the late nineties and early naughties.

You’ll like this if you liked : Pulse

Hatchet III (2013) 7/10

Starring : Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan, Caroline Williams, Parry Shen, Robert Diago DoQui
Director : BJ McDonnell
Running Time : 82 mins

Victor Crowley (Hodder) is finally dead and Marybeth (Harris) turns herself into the police to report she has successfully killed him, but the police arrest her, believing she is responsible for the multiple deaths in the local swamp. It isn’t long before a recovery team is sent out to collect the corpses, but the evil of Victor Crowley may not be over as it is revealed that he is cursed to come back in his original form every night, regardless of how mutilated his corpse may be.

Although still not as good as the original, this (allegedly) final instalment of the trilogy is an improvement on number two, with the characters feeling a bit more lively and engaging. Marybeth is still pretty terrible as the heroine of the piece, and she does little with the role in this, but fans of the series will enjoy the continually over the top violence and ridiculous death scenes that leave little to the imagination.

You’ll like this if you liked : Friday The 13th Part 3D

Club Dread (2004) 7/10

Starring : Jay Chandrasekhar, Bill Paxton, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, Brittany Daniel
Director : Jay Chandrasekhar
Running Time : 114 mins

It’s Spring Break on the island resort of Pleasure Island, but the fun of the staff and guests doesn’t last for long when people start turning up dead. Everyone’s a suspect, and nobody is safe from the vengeance of the murderous Machete Phil – who is killing people according to the lyrics of a song by island owner Coconut Pete (Paxton) - so everyone bands together to try and figure out who the killer is and stop them before they all die..

If it wasn’t for the corny dialogue this could have been like any other teen slasher that has surfaced over the last few years. The villain is horrifically unstoppable, the victims are pathetically easy to kill, and the suspects are numerous. There is a lot that could connect this to horror sequel I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, from the white Rasta to the island setting, but the comic twists make this silly instalment to the Broken Lizard series memorable for not being as over the top as the movies of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

You’ll like this if you liked : Super Troopers

The Conjuring (2013) 7/10

Starring : Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Ron Livingston, Lili Taylor
Director : James Wan
Running Time : 112 mins

When they Perron family move into their new home and strange things start to happen, the call on the help of famed paranormal investigator Ed Warren (Wilson) and his clairvoyant wife Lorraine (Farmiga) in the hope of easing their mind that there is a simple explanation for all the oddities, but when they declare that the house is haunted by a particularly sinister spirit it becomes apparent that their lives may very well be in danger.

Based on documented events this starts off well but once we see the spirit this gets very hammy very quickly. Thankfully that’s what fans of exorcism movies seem to enjoy; lots of vomit, lots of violence, and lots of people getting thrown around the room. The back story to the spirit gives the tale some credence, and the performances – though over the top – make this a likeable horror flick that will make most people jump at least once.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Amityville Horror

Strippers Vs Werewolves (2012) 4/10

Starring : Adele Silva, Robert Englund, Billy Murray, Martin Kemp, Ali Bastian, Steven Berkoff
Director : Jonathan Glendening
Running Time : 93 mins

When stripper Justice (Silva) accidentally kills a werewolf at the club where she works, her friends and colleagues find their lives in danger when the werewolf community come after them in force, wanting revenge for the death of one of their kind. Their only hope: to beat the werewolves at their own game.

Wow! This was not a great movie. We’re talking about a film that apparently took just £38 at the UK box office! The acting is awful, the plot is pathetic, and the soundtrack to the movie just doesn’t feel right. The actors I did recognise are all famous for being in soap operas, which is never a good sign of quality, and as for the special effects, they were almost non-existent other than the werewolf makeup. There is some entertainment value, but on the whole this was pretty bad.

You’ll like this if you liked : Lesbian Vampire Killers

Cabin Fever : Patient Zero (2014) 6/10

Starring : Ryan Donowho, Brando Eaton, Jillian Murphy, Mitch Ryan, Solly Duran, Lydia Hearst, Claudette Lali, Currie Graham, Sean Astin
Director : Kaare Andrews
Running Time : 95 mins

A man named Porter (Astin) is being held in a scientific research facility on a remote island, being studied as he is the only survivor of a deadly flesh-eating virus that kills everyone who contracts it, but it isn’t long before he tries to escape. Meanwhile a group of young folk come across the island while on a bachelor weekend, and they soon start to exhibit symptoms of the disease.

This is one of those movies you have to stick with, because it starts off incredibly badly. As it progresses it becomes more interesting, and the characters (well, some of them) eventually develop some depth. You won’t be impressed by the script or the acting, but you might enjoy the concept as it is taken to another level, but personally they won’t be able to beat the first one.

You’ll like this if you liked : Wrong Turn 3 : Left For Dead

Survival Of The Dead (2009) 6/10

Starring : Alan Van Sprang, Kenneth Walsh, Kathleen Munroe, Devon Bostick, Richard Fitzpatrick, Athena Karkanis, Stefano DiMatteo
Director : George A Romero
Running Time : 87 mins

A group of ex-soldiers meet Patrick O’Flynn (Walsh) and journey to his home – Plum Island – where his lifelong enemies the Muldoon’s have decided to keep their zombified relatives alive until they can find a cure for their apparent illness, but when they get there they find the entire island overrun by the undead.

The sixth and so far last of Romero’s Dead series is something of a disappointment. There is little action, and what there is feels better suited to a comedy horror, considering some of the comedy deaths this movie features. Those not that familiar with the series can easily get into this, though those who have enjoyed the series so far will know this follows directly from Diary Of The Dead. Sadly this doesn’t seem to progress the story of the Dead, and perhaps if a seventh movie is made they could come up with a cure, perhaps one that ironically makes things worse.

You’ll like this if you liked : Land Of The Dead

Carrie (2013) 7/10

Starring : Chloe Grace Moretz, Gabriella Wilde, Portia Doubleday, Barry Shabaka Henley, Judy Greer, Julianne Moore
Director : Kimberly Peirce
Running Time : 100 mins

When Carrie White (Moretz) finally gets her period, she is terrified by what is happening. Having lead a sheltered life due to her upbringing by her super-religious mother Margaret (Moore), Carrie has no idea that what is happening is perfectly normal, but when she develops telekinetic powers that allow her to control things with her mind, she unintentionally sets into motion a series of disturbing a deadly events.

This is a darkly disturbing yet at the same time fun movie, with only one major flaw; this is far too similar to the original, even in terms of shot choices. The only real update is the use of social media to bully Carrie, such as when the video of her getting her period is uploaded to the internet. The prom scene feels very similar (though without the kaleidoscope effects)., and the only real change I can think of is the fact that Carrie openly uses her telekinesis to float about the place, something (if I remember rightly) she doesn’t use until pretty much everyone is dead in the original. This is worth watching, but I would recommend the 1976 version over this.

You’ll like this if you liked : Ginger Snaps

A Monster In Paris (2011) 7/10

Starring : Vanessa Paradis, Adam Goldberg, Jay Harrington, Danny Huston, Bob Balaban, Madeline Zima, Catherine O’Hara, Matthew Geczy, Sean Lennon
Director : Bibo Bergeron
Running Time : 90 mins

Projectionist Emile (Harrington) and inventor Raoul (Goldberg) join forces to help hunt down a monster that is terrorising Paris in 1910, with the aid of performer Lucille (Paradis), they soon discover that the creature is in fact nothing more than a giant harmless flea and must help protect it from the evil ministrations of mayoral candidate Victor Maynott (Huston), who wants to use the monster to scare the public into re-electing him.

This was a surprisingly fun-filled family movie that, like most kids films, takes the side of the monster and humanises him as much as possible. The action sequences are well thought through, and the characters are likeable and interesting, meaning that adults will enjoy this as well as children.

You’ll like this if you liked : Monster House

Insidious Chapter 2 (2013) 7/10

Starring : Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins, Lin Shaye, Barbara Hershey
Director : James Wan
Running Time : 106 mins

With the police investigating their home following the mysterious events that occurred there, Josh Lambert (Wilson) and his family move into the house of his mother Lorraine (Hershey). Wife Renai (Byrne) starts experiencing strange occurrences surrounding a mysterious ghostly woman in white, and Josh becomes possessed by the spirit of a troubled young boy.

This is an interesting horror flick in that, though it does use many of the standard haunted house conventions, the reactions of those involved seem far more realistic than in similar movies. Josh finds himself in a state of denial over his repressed powers of astral projection, his wife is torn between her suspicions that her husband is somehow responsible and his love for him, and the two “ghostbuster” –like characters actually lend some humour to the film. There’re some neat explanations for Josh’s odd behaviour as a child, and in many ways I thought this was far superior to the original movie.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Conjuring

Return Of The Living Dead : Rave To The Grave (2005) 7/10

Starring : Jenny Mollen, Cory Hardrict, John Keefe, Aimee-Lynn Chadwick, Peter Coyote
Director : Ellory Elkayem
Running Time : 92 mins

When Julian Garrison (Keefe) finds a mysterious collection of canisters in his dead uncles house, he asks his friend Cody (Hardrict), a chemistry major, to take a look at it for him and he discovers the contents has strange hallucinogenic properties, a little like ecstasy. They start selling it in pill form around their college campus, but it isn’t long before they realise that the zombie-like affect of the drug also eventually turns the users into brain-eating monsters.

This series has never been about serious horror, and this fifth movie takes all the horror clichés and elevates them to the extreme. The characters are likeable but cliché, and the scenario is so silly that it is actually far more entertaining than the fourth instalment. Fans of gross-out silliness will enjoy this, though the ending is a little bit of a sore point for me and kind of ruined the rest of the knowing script.

You’ll like this if you liked : Poultrygeist : Night Of The Chicken Dead

A Haunted House (2013) 7/10

Starring : Marlon Wayans, Essence Atkins, Cedric The Entertainer, Nick Swardson, David Koechner
Director : Michael Tiddes
Running Time : 87 mins

Malcolm Johnson (Wayans) and Kisha Davis (Atkins) move into a new house together only to discover that the place is haunted when Malcolm records their sex session, so they set up more cameras to find out what’s going on. When Kisha starts having sex with the spirit, Malcolm becomes jealous and brings in a string of paranormal experts to get rid of the spectre.

I was surprised that this wasn’t as over the top as previous movies by the Wayans family, and that it basically only parodies Paranormal Activity – with a hint of The Devil Inside - without slipping into any ridiculous unrelated skits. Granted there’s the usual amount of sex jokes you’d expect from the Wayans brothers, but this beats the other Movie Movies hands down by focusing on one target and not blindly lampooning every other movie and celebrity that has come along in recent years.

You’ll like this if you liked : Scary Movie

Silent House (2011) 6/10

Starring : Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese, Eric Sheffer Stevens, Julia Taylor Ross, Adam Barnett, Haley Murphy
Director : Chris Kentis & Laura Lau
Running Time : 86 mins

While in the process of packing up her belongings at the lakeside home belonging to her father John (Trese), Sarah (Olsen) starts hearing strange noises in the house and thinks she may be the victim of a home invasion when she and her dad are attacked, and Sarah finds herself running for her life from someone or something that is out to get her.

Olsen performance is pretty good, but the content of this film makes it difficult to follow. What starts out as feeling like a horror film eventually turns into almost a rape-revenge movie, with some pretty tenuous reasoning behind the events that occur both within the movie and prior to it. Personally I didn’t like the anti-climactic conclusion of this film, and those who stick with it for its interesting real-time direction might be just as disappointed as I was.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Uninvited

The Last Exorcism Part II (2013) 6/10

Starring : Ashley Bell, Julia Garner, Spencer Treat Clark, David Jensen
Director : Ed Gass-Donnelly
Running Time : 90 mins

Former victim of evil spirits Nell Sweetzer (Bell) has been moved to a halfway house after spending a considerable amount of time under psychological analysis. She finally feels like she is making some progress, but former members of the satanic cult that held her captive are trying to find her, and the evil spirits that once possessed her may be trying to return...

This is a decent enough movie if you think of it as a standalone and can get past the unintentionally funny title (up there with The Last Seduction II) , but the HUGE problem with this is that the majority of the previous film was a hoax. Granted, the girl has a deformed baby, but the spiritual possession was proved to be all lies. If you can ignore that, and ignore that the documentary style has been removed, then you might find this to be a sometimes suspenseful flick, but largely this is just an excuse to cash in on horror fandom without coming up with a new idea.

You’ll like this if you liked : Drag Me To Hell

Tremors 4 : The Legend Begins (2004) 7/10

Starring : Michael Gross, Sara Botsford, Billy Drago
Director : S S Wilson
Running Time : 96 mins

Its 1889, and the silver mine that is the only real income for the town of Rejection has become the site of a number of mysterious deaths. When it is discovered that a number of strange eggs have hatched down there, and rumour starts to spread that the inhabitants of the eggs are responsible for the deaths, the mine is closed down until the arrival of Hiram Gummer (Gross) into town, who decides to investigate further...

I actually liked this because it went back to how the Graboids were originally conceived in the first movie. By going back to basics, we manage to avoid all the nonsense of the second and third movie, giving them legs, making them smaller, and eventually teaching them to breath fire and fly! The plot is just as simple, with a wild west twist, and the characters and situations keep this fresh, which is surprising for a straight to video sequel.

You’ll like this if you liked : Cowboys And Aliens