American Pie Presents The Book Of Love (2009) 6/10

Starring : Bug Hall, Kevin M Horton, Brandon Hardesty, Beth Behrs, Eugene Levy
Director : John Putch
Running Time : 94 mins

When he accidentally starts a fire at the school library, Rob Shearson (Hall) finds the fabled Book of Love hidden among the stacks. This book details various tried and tested methods for losing your virginity, but due to the fire damage much of the book has been ruined. So, along with his friends Lube (Horton) and Nathan (Hardesty), Rob decides to track down everyone who has ever contributed to the book and recreate the advice, which he hopes to use to win the heart of Heidi (Behrs), the girl of his dreams.

There was some potential here, what with the writers coming up with new characters, but they still had to throw in a Stifler, whose role really could have been removed with no real effect to the storyline. This could easily have been retitled and just been a stand-alone, non-American Pie movie but I guess, with a franchise that has now hit eight instalments, the makers just couldn’t resist cashing in on the popularity of the series.

You’ll like this if you liked : American Pie Presents The Naked Mile

Blood Car (2007) 7/10

Starring : Mike Brune, Anna Chlumsky, Katie Rowlett
Director : Alex Orr
Running Time : 76 mins

With petrol prices at an astronomical high, combined with limits on how much fuel people can afford, Archie Andrews (Brune) decides to try to come up with an alternative fuel for his car’s engine, but what he discovers that a natural substitute is human blood he finds himself involved in a series of bizarre murders just to keep his car running.

In spite of all initial appearances, I actually enjoyed this silly movie. Although the acting is hammy and the effects are poor, this low budget movie does keep its audience amused and keeps the silliness coming from start to finish.

You’ll like this if you liked : Little Shop Of Horrors

The Three Stooges (2012) 7/10

Starring : Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, Chris Diamantopoulos, Jane Lynch, Sofia Vergara
Director : Bobby & Peter Farrelly
Running Time : 93 mins

When Curly (Sasso), Moe (Diamantopoulos) and Larry (Hayes) discover that their orphanage home is going to be closed due to lack of funds, they head out on the road to try and raise the money. It isn’t long before they are offered all the money they need, but little do they know that in return they are expected to kill one of their childhood friends.

This was a surprisingly well observed homage to the original Stooges that has clearly been made by fans who have spent a lot of time and effort making sure this lived up to their legend. Fans of The Stooges will love this movie, which manages to update the concept without losing any of the original charm that made them so popular in the first place.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Campaign

Mulholland Dr. (2001) 6/10

Starring : Justin Theroux, Naomi Watts, Laura Elena Harring, Ann Miller, Robert Forster
Director : David Lynch
Running Time : 141 mins

When Rita (Harring) survives a terrible car crash on Mulholland Drive, she develops amnesia which results in her having no idea what caused the accident or if it was intended to kill her. With the help of a perky actress, Betty Elms (Watts), she tries to investigate what really happened to her and, indeed, who she actually is.

As with anything written and directed by David Lynch, this is thoroughly confusing and filled with random hallucinatory scenes that really make the viewer feel uncomfortably baffled. Fans of Lynch will like this attempt to relive some of the popularity of Twin Peaks, but those who either aren’t familiar or are completely adverse to Lynch’s style should simply not bother.

You’ll like this if you liked : Eraserhead

Devil (2010) 7/10

Starring : Chris Messina, Logan Marshall-Green, Jenny O’Hara, Bojana Novakovic, Bokeem Woodbine, Geoffrey Arend, Jacob Vargas
Director : John Erick Dowdle
Running Time : 81 mins

It’s bad enough when a group of equally disturbed individuals get trapped in a lift together, but when the lights start going out they realise that one of them is a killer! Panic starts to set in and trust simply gets thrown out of the window as one by one they find themselves targeted by an unknown assailant.

As with most movies written by M Night Shyamalan you can expect this to be full of more twists than a Rastas dreadlock. The characters, though not likeable, are interesting, and it’s fun trying to figure out which of the cast is the one responsible for all the evil happening in the lifts.

You’ll like this if you liked : Hide And Seek

Black Dynamite (2009) 7/10

Starring : Michael Jai White, Obba Babatunde, Kevin Chapman, Tommy Davidson
Director : Scott Sanders
Running Time : 86 mins

Black Dynamite (White), a Shaft-like 1970s crime fighter, will stop at nothing to avenge his brother’s death at the hands of The Man. When he discovers that someone has been spiking malt liquor with a drug that causes a man’s dick to shrivel in size, he makes it his duty to stop the fiends behind the plan before every African-American finds they’re lacking in the trouser department.

This joke blaxsploitation movie actually comes across very well. The makers have clearly done a lot of research into the genre and managed to parody the genre almost perfectly. The only issue I had with the movie was that, at times, it DIDN’T feel like a comedy – perhaps that is part of the appeal, but to my mind the laughs – even the subtle ones – were too few and far between.

You’ll like this if you liked : Undercover Brother

Madagascar 3 : Europe’s Most Wanted (2012) 7/10

Starring : Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Jada Pinkett Smith, Sacha Baron Cohen
Director : Eric Darnell, Conrad Vernon &Tom McGrath
Running Time : 94 mins

Alex (Stiller), Marty (Rock), Gloria (Pinkett Smith) and Melman (Schwimmer) are still trying to get back to the New York zoo but first they have to track down the penguins, who have run off to Monte Carlo. When they attract the attention of animal control, the animals decide to hide out with a travelling circus by pretending to be circus animals, and discover that the circus is due to return to New York and that they may be able to get home.

These movies are starting to get a little annoying, and the characters aren’t as likeable as they might once have been. It does look like this might be the last of the series, seeing as how (spoiler alert) the animals got home and decided they didn’t want to live at the zoo anymore, but if there is a sequel it would seem ridiculous to continue to call the movies Madagascar.

You’ll like this if you liked : Open Season

Water For Elephants (2011) 7/10

Starring : Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Hal Holbrook
Director : Francis Lawrence
Running Time : 116 mins

When his parents die in a terrible accident, medical student Jacob Jankowski (Pattinson) discovers that they had sunk all their money into his education and he is now not just penniless but also homeless. As he drops out of school to try to find work, he finds his way into the world of the travelling circus, working under the violent minded August Rosenbluth (Waltz). His life takes a tricky turn when he finds himself falling for the star attraction, Marlena (Witherspoon), who also happens to be August’s wife.

As usual with any movie he features in, Christoph Waltz out acts everyone else on screen. Granted that isn’t too difficult when you’ve got competition like Robert Pattinson, but to be fair Pattinson isn’t that bad in this. I’ve definitely seen Witherspoon do a lot better, and it really felt like her heart wasn’t in this for the most part, but this is still a good flick that delivers an interesting and engrossing story.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Notebook

The Next Three Days (2010) 8/10

Starring : Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks, Brian Dennehy, Lennie James, Olivia Wilde, Ty Simpkins, Helen Carey, Liam Neeson
Director : Paul Haggis
Running Time : 134 mins

When his wife Lara (Banks) is convicted of murdering her boss, John Brennan (Crowe) spends the next few years trying to find evidence that could reverse her conviction, but when no evidence comes to light and Lara starts showing suicidal tendencies, John decides to try to break her out.

I loved the fact that this movie doesn’t make Crowe look like a criminal genius. It also manages on the most part to keep the truth about Lara’s innocence as ambiguous as possible. The pacing is perfect and manages to allow the viewer the time to get to know the characters before the arrest and during the events that follow. Thriller fans will love watching Crowe’s botched attempts at completing his break out plan. And there’s plenty of action for those thrill seekers among you.

You’ll like this if you liked : Conviction

The Art Of War (2000) 8/10

Starring : Wesley Snipes, Anne Archer, Maury Chaykin, Marie Matiko, Cary-Hitoyuki Tagawa, Michael Biehn, Donald Sutherland
Director : Christian Duguay
Running Time : 114 mins

United Nations covert operative Neil Shaw (Snipes) is well known by his bosses for his ability to ensure peace between the USA and other nations through sneaky tactics, but when a Chinese ambassador is killed during the celebration of a new trade agreement between the US and China, Shaw finds himself framed fror the murder and on the run from both the FBI and a mob of Triads.

This is a great action movie that really allows Snipes to make more of his acting abilities. He attempts comedy as well as the typical action-hero type of acting we’re used to, and the story manages to remain convincing even when it goes completely over the top. A fun-filled thriller in the vein of The Fugitive.

You’ll like this if you liked : True Lies

Cloud Atlas (2012) 8/10

Starring : Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Jim Sturgess, Doona Bae, Ben Whishaw, James D’Arcy, Xun Zhou, Keith David, David Gyasi, Susan Sarandon, Hugh Grant
Director : Lana Wachowski , Tom Tykwer & Andy Wachowski
Running Time : 173 mins

A diary written in 1849 inspires the writings of a composer in 1936; his letters in turn find their way into the hands of a reporter investigating a murder at a nuclear power plant in 1973. In the present day, an elderly publisher writes a screenplay about his experiences as he is tricked into hiding from gangsters in a nursing home; his screenplay in turn inspires a clone in the year 2144 to break her programming and reveal the truth about her kinds existence; she in turn inspires a religion in the distant future that inspires a cowardly man to stand up and fight for his people.

I really enjoyed this movie, in spite of its near three hour runtime and complicatedly intertwined storylines. Many people might just give up entirely as this moves back and forth through time, exploring seemingly unrelated events that eventually form a connection (although I couldn’t find the link from 1973 to the present day), and even though the movie is three hours long it couldn’t possibly have been any shorter as everything is essential, something which ensures that at no point is the viewer ever bored.

You’ll like this if you liked : Super 8

Abduction (2011) 7/10

Starring : Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Alfred Molina, Jason Isaacs, Maria Bello, Sigourney Weaver
Director : John Singleton
Running Time : 106 mins

While working on a school project, Nathan Harper (Lautner) and his school friend Karen Murphy (Collins) discover a website that shows photos of children who have been reported missing. As they look through the photos, Nathan sees a young boy who bears more than a passing resemblance for him, and as he digs deeper he discovers that his entire life may be a lie.

The fact that the concept behind this movie is incredibly unlikely, and that a lot of the clues fall into place a little too neatly (Nathan has a stained romper suit that hasn’t been cleaned in over a decade, and happens to be the same one he is wearing in the missing persons photo!), this is still an entertaining thriller with enough action to keep most viewers engrossed for the duration, although it might be more aimed at teens than adults.

You’ll like this if you liked : Gone

Still Waiting... (2009) 7/10

Starring : John Michael Higgins, Robert Patrick Benedict, Andy Milonakis, Chi McBride, Luis Guzman
Director : Jeff Ballis
Running Time : 91 mins

Shenanigan’s manager Dennis (Higgins) has been told he will get a promotion to district manager if he makes $9,000 on the last day of the financial year. In order to give his staff some incentive, he tells them that the restaurant will be closed down if they don’t hit target, a lie that holds some truth due to the loss of business they have been suffering from due to the recently opened bar Ta-Ta’s, where the waitresses are all scantily clad in Daisy Dukes and tight tees.

Surprisingly I thought this was just as good as the original, in spite the absence of the originals main cast. The story isn’t anything original, but the characters are likeable and the jokes aren’t bad. It’s a shame that so many people decided not to appear in the sequel, but those that take their place do a pretty good job and keep this movie largely entertaining from start to finish.

You’ll like this if you liked : Clerks II

Hyde Park On Hudson (2012) 6/10

Starring : Bill Murray, Laura Linney, Samuel West, Olivia Colman, Elizabeth Marvel, Elizabeth Wilson, Olivia Williams
Director : Roger Michell
Running Time : 95 mins

It’s 1939, and 32nd President of the United States Franklin D Roosevelt (Murray) is receiving King George VI (West) and his wife Elizabeth (Colman) at his family estate for a royal visit due to concerns about imminent war, but FDR also has to contend with not only an interfering mother but the secret affair he is having with his sixth cousin Daisy (Linney).

The performances in this movie are what makes this watchable – there isn’t really enough of a story to make this worth filming, so I’m surprised it ever got made. Perhaps with the popularity of The King’s Speech, coupled with the recent success of Lincoln, made this seem like a sure fire hit, but sadly it is just too lacking in substance to make it a great movie.

You’ll like this if you liked : A Good Woman

Oz The Great And Powerful (2013) 8/10

Starring : James Franco, Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams
Director : Sam Raimi
Running Time : 130 mins

A carnival magician who calls himself Oz (Franco) gets caught in a tornado and is swept away to a magical land, coincidentally named Oz. There he is believed to be a great wizard, destined to fall from the sky, and is tasked with destroying an evil witch, but as he travels in search of this witch he starts discover that most things in the land of Oz are not what they seem.

Visually this is a fascinating movie, using many similar techniques to the original musical Oz movie from 1939, and Franco is a likeable rogue, which is what you need in someone playing the Wizard of Oz. The supporting cast are good, and the story is both original and yet loyal to the original stories, even going so far as to remember that Oz finds up in the magical land via air balloon. Children and adults alike will enjoy this tale of good, evil, and everything in-between.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus

Let The Game Begin (2010) 5/10

Starring : Thomas Ian Nicholas, Adam Rodriguez, Lisa Ray, Stephen Baldwin, Michael Madsen, Natasha Henstridge, Lochlyn Munro, Ken Davitian
Director : Amit Gupta
Running Time : 111 mins

Successful doctor Tripp Stout (Nicholas) realises that his wife Eva (Ray) only married him for his money, so he teams up with his womanising cousin Rowan (Rodriguez) who teaches him how to spot a gold digger and how to spot a woman who likes him for who he is so that he can divorce his wife and get on with his new life.

This is a confused movie that talks a lot about how men can get the perfect woman who isn’t going to steal their money, but I really didn’t get it. The direction is all over the place and the acting is pretty poor, plus any woman who could be taken in by one of these guys pick-up lines is probably a little on the simple side. It doesn’t even have a satisfactory ending, as Tripp still gets screwed over when he divorces his wife.

You’ll like this if you liked : Crazy, Stupid, Love

Alexander (2004) 6/10

Starring : Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Anthony Hopkins, Jared Leto, Rosario Dawson
Director : Oliver Stone
Running Time : 214 mins

Alexander The Great (Farrell), king of Macedonia, spent much of his thirty-three short years attempting to conquer the known world. Along the way he made many enemies of other nations due to his habit of doing what he please, when he pleased, regardless of what other people thought.

At a staggering three and a half hours, this biopic is so far past being too long it’s a joke. The movie looks good, but it plays too long and this alone makes it almost unbearable. I challenge anyone to watch this in one sitting without drifting off, and it seems even the director thought it was too long and put an intermission around the two hour mark. Fans of Stone’s long movies might enjoy this, and pervs will love the sex scene with Rosario Dawson, but it’s all just too much to take in all at once.

You’ll like this if you liked : Troy

Carnage (2011) 8/10

Starring : Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz, John C Reilly
Director : Roman Polanski
Running Time : 80 mins

Penelope (Foster) and Michael Longstreet (Reilly) invite Nancy (Winslet) and Alan Cowan (Waltz) to their home so that they can discuss the Cowan boys attack on their son. Things start out civil enough, but as the afternoon progresses the two couples slowly devolve into childish ways and start arguing with each other over the least little thing.

Considering this entire movie is about a discussion between two sets of parents and that nothing else happens, this was quite an entertaining flick. All involved play their roles perfectly and make what could easily have been a dull, flat performance into something with substance and attitude. Even Waltz and Winslet’s American accents are pretty good, which could have been a bugbear if they’d have been awful.

You’ll like this if you liked : Interview