Mrs Brown’s Boys D’Movie (2014) 5/10

Starring : Brenadan O’Carroll, Jennifer Gibney, Eilish O’Carroll
Director : Ben Kellett
Running Time : 95 mins

Market stall owner Agnes Brown (O’Carroll) is horrified to discover that an evil corporation plan on trying to close down More Street market and she will lose her livelihood, and when she is faced with an apparent fine stemming from her grandmother’s days on the stall, her family rally round to try and save her from bankruptcy before the corporation can swoop in and steal her business.

Fans of the Mrs Brown’s Boys television show might find something to make them laugh in this, but you’d have to be the world’s biggest fan to think it’s hilarious. There are the odd moments of humour that worked reasonably well, but overall this doesn’t translate that well to the big screen, with some of the charm of the show being completely lost in translation, and the rest of the humour being obvious and glaringly poor.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Harry Hill Movie

Batman : The Dark Knight Returns Part 1 (2012) 7/10

Starring : Peter Weller, Ariel Winter, David Selby, Wade Williams
Director : Jay Oliva
Running Time : 77 mins

Ten years after Bruce Wayne (Weller) has retired from his role as The Batman he is forced out of retirement when Harvey Dent (Williams) is released from Arkham Asylum and goes into hiding. Now that he has doned his cowl once again, Batman decides to go after the cities latest menace – a breed of mutants intent on terrorising Gotham but, now aged 55, can he cope with these new villains and prove himself a hero to a doubtful public.

Fans of the original comic book miniseries will thoroughly enjoy this faithful adaptation that keeps all the darkness and death of the comics and puts them on screen. There is some assumption made that we know the events that have come before, but this doesn’t spoil the story of an ageing Batman fighting crime, ably assisted by a new female Robin and an Alfred whose age must be in triple figures by this time. Plus this paves the way for the return of Batman’s ultimate enemy – the Joker!

You’ll like this if you liked : Batman : Under The Red Hood

How To Train Your Dragon 2 (2014) 7/10

Starring : Starring : Jay Baruchel, Cate Blanchett, Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson, America Ferrera, Jonah Hill, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Djimon Hounsou
Director : Dean DuBlois
Running Time : 103 mins

Hiccup (Baruchel) and his dragon Toothless find a hidden ice cave filled with wild dragons, they soon realise that the peace they have spent the last five years cultivating might be at risk from Drago (Hounsou) and his dragon army, including a Bewilderbeast – a dragon that can control the actions of other dragons!

Although in most ways this is better than the original, I still believe it could have been better. The cast do an admirable job of creating the characters they play, though Baruchel seems a little too old to me, and the storyline plays on the relationships of the characters rather than just the linke between Hiccup and Toothless. Throw in some sad moments towards the end of the movie and you’ve got yourself a pretty decent kids flick.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Pirates! Band Of Misfits

Oblivion (2013) 6/10

Starring : Tom Cruise, Morgan Freeman, Olga Kurylenko, Andrea Riseborough
Director : Joseph Kosinski
Running Time : 125 mins

Following years of being at war against an alien race known as scavs, a technician named Jack Harper (Cruise) finds a crashed spaceship containing a number of stasis pods, one of which contains a woman (Kurylenko) from his dreams of life before the war. When she revives he gains information that makes him believe that the life he has lately been living may be based on a lie...

This is a nice enough concept – a little too Philip K Dick to be considered original – but the execution is a little weak. The direction is unclear and the dream sequences underused, with a pretty boring performance from all involved, specifically Cruise and a less than memorable Morgan. Fans of sci-fi action sequences might find a moment or two worthy of them, but on the whole this is an ill-explained mess that, though visually appealing, is largely too confusing for the casual viewer.

You’ll like this if you liked : Total Recall

Transformers : Age Of Extinction (2014) 5/10

Starring : Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz, Jack Teynor, Peter Cullen
Director : Michael Bay
Running Time : 166 mins

CIA agent Harold Attinger (Grammer) commissions a unit that is designed to hunt down the alien robots that so recently destroyed Chicago. Aided by a turncoat Decepticon, Attinger;s primary goal is to capture Optimus Prime (Cullen), but Optimus is hiding out with struggling inventor Cade Yeager (Wahlberg) who helps him escape capture and takes him on the run, only to discover that the government is secretly developing their own human-controlled robots.

Possibly the worst instalment of the series so far, a confusing plot about capturing Autobots is lumped in with the revelation that alien robots landed on Earth millions of years ago and have been frozen in dinosaur form. Perhaps it’s that none of the original human cast from the series have returned that make this seem so lazy, but basically this movie is nothing more than a number of action sequences strung together by brief moments of exposition.

You’ll like this if you liked : Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Happiness Is A Warm Blanket, Charlie Brown (2011) 7/10

Starring : Austin Lux, Amanda Pace, Trenton Rogers, Grace Rolek, Shane Baumel
Director : Andrew Beall & Frank Molieri
Running Time : 46 mins

When Linus (Lux) discovers that his grandma is coming to visit and plans to rid him of his obsessive security blanket addiction once and for all, Linus panics and tries to hide the blanket from her. But when it goes missing he is forced, with the help of Charlie Brown (Rogers), to try and overcome his fears and face life without a blanket.

The old-school animation of this direct to video movie really helped keep me thinking this was one of the old cartoons, and the story was fun and, for young kids, informative. Getting over an obsessional habit is something most children have to go through, but the withdrawal shown here is almost akin to substance addiction and maybe this should be shown at AA meetings... just for fun.

You’ll like this if you liked : 28 Days (joke)

Sex Tape (2014) 7/10

Starring : Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Rob Corddry, Ellie Kemper, Rob Lowe
Director : Jake Kadan
Running Time : 95 mins

Annie (Diaz) and Jay (Segel) decide to spice up their love life after years of marriage and having kids has doused their flame so, to add some fun, they video tape themselves having sex. When the tape shows up online due to an unlikely itunes synching issue, the two find themselves in a race against time to track down the culprit and destroy all copies of the video.

A predictable comedy, filled with basic errors in judgement from the characters involved which, I’m glad to say, are pointed out as the movie progresses. The idea of Segel giving away his i-devices to people did grate a little – how much money did they have exactly? Any sensible person would have wiped them and put them on ebay.

You’ll like this if you liked : Overnight Delivery

Jack The Giant Slayer (2013) 8/10

Starring : Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Bill Nighy, Ewan McGregor
Director : Bryan Singer
Running Time : 115 mins

When Jack (Hoult) trades his uncles horse and cart with a monk, he receives what he is told are some very valuable beans, but when they get wet a giant beanstalk launches his house into the sky. With Princess Isabelle (Tomlinson) disappearing into the clouds, Jack and a number of the kings men head into a strange land of giants to try and rescue her, but giants aren’t the only enemy they have to deal with...

This is a pretty entertaining kids film, in spite of some of the violence not being suitable for kids. The characters may not be that realistic, being either overtly good or overtly evil, but the pantomime feel to the story is what makes this so good. There are some additional elements thrown in to flesh the tale out a little, and to make Jack’s reason for climbing the beanstalk more realistic than mere curiosity, and these make it a fun film for whole family (those over twelve anyway).

You’ll like this if you liked : The Fall

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) 7/10

Starring : Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Johnny Knoxville, Tony Shalhoub
Director : Jonathan Liebesman
Running Time : 102 mins

Reporter April O’Neil (Fox) discovers that a group of mutated turtles are fighting in New York’s darkness against the kingpin who has taken control of the city with his troops of foot soldiers, but it soon becomes clear that the evil Shredder plans on using the turtles to further his evil plans by taking their mutant blood and using it to threaten the world with a virus that only he has the antidote for.

Plot wise this could have been better, though the revelation of Shredder’s true identity was well played (though annoying, as he isn’t who he is in the old cartoons and comic books). The characters manage to be funny without being too much of a parody of themselves, and the action sequences, though over the top, add to the subject matter rather than simply acting as filler for a lack lustre storyline.

You’ll like this if you liked : Transformers

Stargate : Continuum (2008) 8/10

Starring : Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Claudia Black, Cliff Simon, Don S Davis, Richard Dean Anderson, William Devane, Beau Bridges, Michael Shanks
Director : Martin Wood
Running Time : 95 mins

Ba-al (Simon), the last of the Goa’uld System Lords, travels back in time to stop the delivery of Earth’s Stargate from Egypt to the United States prior to World War II. As a result he rewrites history so that the Stargate project never went ahead. Only Cameron Mitchell (Browder), Samantha Carter (Tapping) and Daniel Jackson (Shanks) are unaffected by the changes to the timeline and must act to put things right before Ba’al’s men launch an all-out attack on Earth.

This was much better than The Ark Of Truth, with a far more interesting storyline that can actually be enjoyed by those who aren’t necessarily fans of the show. There are still parts that only a fan will understand, but on the whole this welcome addition – and currently final instalment – of the SG1 saga has a lot going for it.

You’ll like this if you liked : Men In Black III

Horrible Bosses 2 (2014) 8/10

Starring : Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Aniston, Jamie Foxx, Chris Pine, Kevin Spacey, Christoph Waltz
Director : Sean Anders
Running Time : 109 mins

Nick (Bateman), Kurt (Sudeikis), and Dale (Day) have quit their jobs and come up with a novel invention – the shower buddy – but need help from investors to raise the capital to get the manufacturing running. When they are screwed over by businessman Bert Hanson (Waltz), they come up with a scam to kidnap his son Rex (Pine) and hold him to ransom for the money they need to save their company. But Rex wants in on the deal, and soon things start going horribly wrong...

This is a worthy sequel to the 2011 original, bringing back the surviving characters are turning their lives upside down. Once agin, although they are planning on becoming their own bosses, they find control ripped away from them and the lengths they resort to are funny and well thought through by the writers. The addition of Waltz and Pine is very good, and personally I wanted to slap the two of them just as much as our heroes did.

You’ll like this if you liked : Weekend At Bernie’s

Iron Man : Rise Of Technivore (2013) 6/10

Starring : Norman Reedus, Matthew Mercer, Eric Bauza, Kate Higgins, James C Mathis III, Kari Wahlgren, Clare Grant, Troy Baker
Director : Hiroshi Hamazaki
Running Time : 89 mins

When Tony Stark (Mercer) launches a new satellite that can monitor all activity on Earth and prevent terrorist attacks, a technical genius named Ezekiel Stane (Bauza) launches an attack against Stark with his techno organic armour during the a satellite’s launch. Stark is blamed for the attack and finds himself on the run from SHIELD while trying to stop Stane and bring him to justice so he can clear his name.

In spite of some pretty impressive animation, courtesy of Japan’s Madhouse, this movie didn’t really have any soul. The pretty basic story line relies heavily on the visuals and little on the characters, and thanks to some deadpan deliveries this isn’t anything special. What little character development there is seems to be purely to further later plot points, such as Pepper wanting a vacation, and the amount of guest characters used seems to have been for nothing.

You’ll like this if you liked : Ghost In The Shell 2 : Innocence

300 : Rise Of An Empire (2014) 5/10

Starring : Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Hans Matheson, Callan Mulvey, David Wenham, Rodrigo Santoro
Director : Noam Murro
Running Time : 103 mins

The Persian Army, under the guidance of the God King Xerxes (Santoro), march on Athens, planning on invading all of Greece. With so much to lose, General Themistocles (Stapleton) is forced to form an alliance with Sparta in order to defend against the attack in the historical Battle of Marathon.

This is pretty much the same as the first movie, but with such a terrible script - filled with quotable one-liners that feel forced at every step – that it’s hard to concentrate on what is supposed to be happening. As if to compensate, the majority of the film is voiced-over by Lena Headey, most recently of Game Of Thrones fame, and feels as if even the director realised that something was missing and needed explaining. The fight scenes are okay, but really look like they are just imitating the first and far superior instalment, and the movie ends so abruptly it felt like the makers ran out of budget. My advice is to steer clear of this and just watch the original again.

You’ll like this if you liked : Clash Of The Titans

The Gift (2000) 8/10

Starring : Cate Blanchett, Giovanni Ribisi, Keanu Reeves, Katie Holmes, Greg Kinnear, Hilary Swank
Director : Sam Raimi
Running Time : 112 mins

Local clairvoyant and fortune reader Annie Wilson (Blanchett) is called upon to help when man-hungry local resident Jessica King (Holmes) goes missing. When she has a nightmare seeing Jessica’s body wrapped in chains, she tells the police that she is dead and in a pond somewhere in town. The body is discovered on the land of wife-beater Donnie Barksdale (Reeves) whose wife Valerie (Swank) is one of Annie’s clients, and he is tried for the murder, but in spite of Barksdale’s history, Annie suspects that he isn’t the real killer.

This is an interesting dramatic crime thriller that uses the supernatural to further the action with minimal interference to the underlying plot of a murder mystery. Granted, the identity of the killer is pretty obvious, as are the reasons behind the murder, but there are some great performances (especially from Ribisis) and, as usual, Raimi lends his own unique brand of direction without going too over the top.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Ice Storm

3 Days To Kill (2014) 7/10

Starring : Kevin Costner, Amber Heard, Hailee Steinfeld, Connie Neilsen
Director : McG
Running Time : 123 mins

CIA agent Ethan Renner (Costner) is relieved of duty when he is diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour, and takes the opportunity to reconcile with his wife Christine (Neilsen) and daughter Zooey (Steinfeld), who he had previously been steering clear of to protect them from his dangerous job. But when is approached by a woman named Vivi (Heard) who offers him an experimental drug in exchange for his services, he decides to do one last job to try and gain some more time with his family before he dies.

I actually thought this was a reasonable action flick which, even with its predictable plot and obvious set pieces, still managed to deliver. I’m not sure if this was meant to be a comedy, but the light-hearted moments between father and daughter garnered a few good-humoured groans along the way, which was nicely balanced with some violent scenes that would make even the most diehard action fan nod with approval.

You’ll like this if you liked : Taken 2

42 (2013) 7/10

Starring : Chadwick Boseman, Harrison Ford, Nicole Beharie, Christopher Meloni, Andre Holland, Lucas Black, Hamish Linklater, Ryan Meriman
Director : Brian Helgeland
Running Time : 129 mins

It’s 1946 and baseball player Jackie Robinson (Boseman) is picked to play in the Major Leagues, becoming the first black player to do so, but faced with the racist attitudes of the time Jackie finds his life constantly under threat from those that don’t want blacks and whites to mix and he is challenged with trying to make a success of his career while many try to put him down.

The first half of this movie was something of a waste, but once Robinson gets to the Major Leagues and starts really suffering racial abuse in front of the crowds it really gets to be interesting and educational. Sadly, from what this portrays, Robinson doesn’t seem to know how to pick his fights, largely ignoring an overtly racist Alan Tudyk yet when one of his team mates says Jackie might have some friends who can put the team up for the night he goes ballistic. The sad fact is that Robinson isn’t given enough of a personality in this so-called biopic and, if he had been, then this would have made the movie more effective.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Blind Side

Transcendence (2014) 7/10

Starring : Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Paul Bettany, Cillian Murphy, Kate Mara, Cole Hauser, Morgan Freeman
Director : Wally Pfister
Running Time : 120 mins

Will Caster (Depp) has spent most of his life trying to develop an artificial intelligence that can possess both intelligence and emotion, and the controversy behind these ideas have made him both famous and notorious. When he is targeted by extremists that despise his concepts, he ends up being the source for his own experiments, diverting his own mind into one of his own experiments.

This is an okay movie, though it does go on a little longer than necessary. The story is simple and paced well, though it would have been nice to have a bit more emotion thrown in to make the artificial intelligence seem more human. I’m not saying this is a bad film; it does, after all, feel like it achieves what it set out to do, but it really needed a bit more everyman appeal for the AI storyline to work perfectly.

You’ll like this if you liked : RoboCop

Save The Date (2012) 6/10

Starring : Lizzy Caplan, Alison Brie, Martin Starr, Geoffrey Arend, Mark Webber, Melonie Diaz, Timothy Busfield
Director : Michael Mohan
Running Time : 97 mins

With her sister Beth (Brie) about to get married, Sarah (Caplan) finds her boyfriend Kevin (Arend) wants to do the same, but when he proposes she turns him down and they break up. It isn’t long before she finds herself in a rebound relationship with Jonathan (Webber), one of her customers at the book shop.

With the likes of Lizzy Caplan and Martin Starr featuring in this movie, I expected a laugh out loud romantic comedy, but realistically this is a little depressing and not very believable. The characters are not very likeable, andt he decisions they make are often strange and rarely realistic. Fans of dramas in which the characters do everything wrong will like this, but don’t expect the feel-good rom-com that I was hoping for.

You’ll like this if you liked : Sideways

Endless Love (2014) 6/10

Starring : Alex Pettyfer, Gabriella Wilde, Bruce Greenwood, Joely Richardson, Robert Patrick, Rhys Wakefield, Dayo Okeniyi
Director : Shana Feste
Running Time : 105 mins

David Elliot (Pettyfer) has had a crush on Jade Butterfield (Wilde) – a friendless and distant young woman – since the first time he saw her, but it isn’t until graduation from high school that he decides to try to speak to her. Jade has ambitions of becoming a doctor, while David’s ambitions are less exotic. The two soon start a romantic relationship, but Jade’s father Hugh (Greenwood) does not approve of their love...

This remake of the novel by Scott Spencer suffers from being a little too safe. Having not read the book, I can only go by what the author says about it, citing it as more of an anti-romance on how obsession can ruin lives, yet this is played as a straight romance with parents trying to get in the way. The only villain in the whole movie seems to be Greenwood, whereas Pettyfer should have been obsessively over the top, and he doesn’t even start the fire that burnt down the house! Personally this movie is a waste of time that doesn’t even seem to use the source material for character development or plot.

You’ll like this if you liked : Water For Elephants

The Wedding Video (2012) 8/10

Starring : Rufus Hound, Lucy Punch, Robert Webb, Matt Berry, Michelle Gomez, Miriam Margolyes, Harriet Walter
Director : Nigel Cole
Running Time : 94 mins

Tim (Webb) and Saskia (Punch) are getting married, and Tim wants his brother Raif (Hound) to be his best man. Raif decides that the perfect gift will be to film the entire affair from his arrival back in the UK up until the event itself, but when he realises that his brother is marrying the most rebellious girl at his old school and that - although her mother Alex (Walter) has married into money - deep down Saskia hasn’t really changed, the two start spending an increasing amount of time together...

This was a surprisingly likeable and well paced comedy, with Hound and Punch making an interesting double-act, and Webb being something of a background addition to the tale. Fans of rom-coms will like this, and its unconventional romance is expertly handled right up until the ending, which is the only real suffering of the piece as it felt too convenient and didn’t have nearly enough anger or emotion in it.

You’ll like this if you liked : I Give It A Year

Not Another Happy Ending (2013) 6/10

Starring : Karen Gillan, Stanley Weber, Amy Manson, Ian De Caestecker
Director : John McKay
Running Time : 98 mins

Jane Lockhart (Gillan) is devastated when she finds that her publisher Tom Duval (Weber) has changed the title of her first published novel, but the joy of being published soon takes its toll and she develops writers block. Realising that the only way to unblock her is to make her miserable again, Duval endeavours to do whatever he can to upset her, but soon finds himself falling in love.

This could have been so much better if the characters had been even slightly more engaging. Gillan does her best to keep the movie engrossing, but the script itself is just a little too weak to make me care about what is happening, and the imaginary friend isn’t played upon anywhere near as much as I’d have hoped. Coupled with the fact that the romantic interests are incredibly unlikely and unlikeable, and you have a pretty mediocre movie. My honest opinion would be to skip this and watch Ruby Sparks instead.

You’ll like this if you liked : Tortoise In Love

Outsourced (2006) 8/10

Starring : Josh Hamilton, Ayesha Dharker, Asif Basra
Director : John Jeffcoat
Running Time : 99 mins

When the Seattle based novelty company Todd (Hamilton) works for decides to move its base of operations to India, he is sent over to help train the new staff that will replace his American counterparts. He soon finds himself thrown into a world he doesn’t quite understand, and finds himself falling for Indian employee Asha (Dharker), even though she is already engaged to another man.

This likeable romantic comedy makes for some fun viewing with the culture shock being the main focus for the majority of the humour, which manages to be very subdued where it could easily have turned into outright slapstick and racial stereotyping. Hamilton’s performance is a little flat at first, but he comes into his own in the scenes he shares with Dharker which makes their romance seem even more plausible and keeps the viewer ever more drawn in by the proceeds.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Other End Of The Line

A New York Winter’s Tale (2014) 7/10

Starring : Colin Farrell, Jessica Brown Findlay, Jennifer Connelly, William Hurt, Russell Crowe
Director : Akiva Goldsman
Running Time : 118 mins

A thief named Peter Lake (Farrell) is found abandoned as a child and raised by a demon called Pearly Soames (Crowe). As he tries to escape his life with the demon, he attempts to rob a house and meets Beverly Penn (Brown Findlay), an heiress who is dying from consumption. The two fall in love, but Beverly soon dies and Peter is left alone but miraculously becomes immortal...

This is a likeable enough movie if you can just accept all the fantasy aspects, which many viewers seem reluctant to do. If they had been more glaring, or if the setting had been an alien world or in the future, people would have thought better of the romance of sorts. The plot is complex and at times a little convoluted, and some of the ideas feel a little childish, but this is a modern fairy tale so what more would you expect.

You’ll like this if you liked : Upside Down

Rush (2013) 8/10

Starring : Chris Hemsworth, Daniel Bruhl, Olivia Wilde, Alexandra Maria Lara
Director : Ron Howard
Running Time : 123 mins

Formula 1 race car drivers Niki Lauda (Bruhl) and James Hunt (Hemsworth) find themselves competing against each other in the public eye as they use their distinctive styles and personalities to try and win the 1976 Formula One World Championship. As they openly challenge their rivals, they secretly develop a well-earned respect for each other, but their competitiveness soon ends in one of them getting seriously injured.

This is an intriguing biopic that will no doubt have all petrol heads drooling in their laps as they witness tow of the greats of Formula 1 competing against each other on the big screen. Both Bruhl and Hemsworth are pretty much perfect as Lauda and Hunt respectively, and the balance of drama and race car driving is evenly matched. Fans of Formula 1 will love this, and those who simply enjoy a good old fashioned movie about rivalry will like this too.

You’ll like this if you liked : The World’s Fastest Indian

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) 8/10

Starring : Ralph Fiennes, F Murray Abraham, Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton, Tony Revolori
Director : Wes Anderson
Running Time : 100 mins

M Gustave (Fiennes) is something of a womaniser who specialises in seducing older ladies whilst working at his European hotel that caters to the very rich, but when his latest lady love (Swinton) dies and leaves him a fortune, he must enlist the help of newly appointed lobby boy Zero (Revolori) to clear his name in her death and obtain him his fortune.

I always sit down to watch a Wes Anderson movie and expect the worst, even though I am rarely rewarded with a terrible film. This is a fun romp that, although you might imagine it to be a series of disjointed tales from first glance, possesses a fluid story line and a natural focus. Fiennes is great in the lead, and I thoroughly enjoyed his ambiguous character who manages to confuse the viewer by never truly revealing his motivations throughout the film.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Royal Tenenbaums

Kermit’s Swamp Years (2002) 7/10

Starring : Steve Whitmore, Bill Barretta, Joey Mazzarino, Cree Summer, William Bookston, John Hostetter, Kelly Collins Lintz
Director : David Gumpel
Running Time : 79 mins

Kermit the frog (Whitmore) thinks back to when he was twelve years old and living in a swamp; a time when he and his friends Croaker (Barretta) and Goggles (Mazzarino) decided to venture forth from the swamp in search of adventure, and find themselves kidnapped and sent to a high school for the purpose of dissection.

Fans of the Muppets might be disappointed to learn that Kermit is the only recognisable Muppet in evidence in this straight –to-video kids film, but that doesn’t diminish it any (in spite of a certain CGi Muppet that will remain nameless). The Muppet dog is this looks awesome and, if it wasn’t for the Muppet-like handling of the mouth movements, it could almost be mistaken for the real thing. Some children might get a little bored by the slow story (which is eerily reminiscent of Finding Nemo AND was made first) but overall this is a fun kids film that should keep them quiet for a little while.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Adventures Of Elmo In Grouchland

Non-Stop (2014) 9/10

Starring : Liam Neeson, Julianne Moore, Scoot McNairy, Michelle Dockery, Nate Parker
Director : Jaume Collet-Serra
Running Time : 106 mins

United States air marshal Bill Marks (Neeson) is working on a flight from New York to London when he receives a threatening text message saying that if he doesn’t transfer $150 million to a specific account someone will die every twenty minutes until he does, but when the accounts prove to be in his name it’s a race against time for Marks to prove he isn’t involved and to stop the real culprit.

This is one of the best action thrillers I’ve seen in a long time. It’s funny that Neeson has become something of an action star in recent years, but he works in them so well – even with his overwhelming Irish brogue. Fans of Taken may even enjoy this more, and the pacing and intrigue that this gives us is so good it’s hard to resist watching this to the very end.

You’ll like this if you liked : Flightplan

Provoked : A True Story (2006) 6/10

Starring : Aishwarya Rai, Miranda Richardson, Naveen Andrews, Nandita Das, Rebecca Pidgeon, Nicholas Irons, Robbie Coltrane
Director : Jag Mundhra
Running Time : 109 mins

After being married to her abusive British husband Deepak (Andrews), Punjabi born Kiranjit Ahluwalia (Rai) finally decides to take matters into her own hands and sets her husband on fire out of fear for the safety of not only herself but her two children. When Deepak dies of his injuries, Kiranjit is tried for murder and sentenced to life imprisonment, a sentencing she is convinced to fight against.

This is a pretty average movie portraying spousal abuse, and could have been considerably better if the performances weren’t so hammy. Andrews starts to get a little over the top towards the end of the movie, and Rai isn’t very convincing as the put-upon wife – though this may be intentional as her characters is meant to be very submissive. Worth watching just to look out for how many actors from EastEnders you can spot, but there are better efforts out there.

You’ll like this if you liked : Enough

Scooby-Doo! Stage Fright (2013) 7/10

Starring : Frank Welker, Mindy Cohn, Grey DeLisle, Matthew Lillard
Director : Victor Cook
Running Time : 75 mins

In the twentieth of the direct to video Scooby-Doo series, Fred Jones (Welker) and Daphne Blake (DeLisle) take the gang to Chicago where they are finalists in a show called Talent Star, but it isn’t long before the gang discover that an evil Phantom is haunting the shows filming location – an old opera house - promoting one of the finalists over the rest in true Phantom style.

This was a decent enough homage to The Phantom Of The Opera with a modern day twist involving reality talent shows. The mystery is an interesting one, with the kind of twists that were more prevalent in the early direct to video Scooby movies, and the humour and character development – particularly the on-again off-again romance of Fred and Daphne – make this a treat for kids and adults alike.

You’ll like this if you liked : Scooby-Doo! Abracadabra-Doo

Switch (2011) 7/10

Starring : Karine Vanasse, Eric Cantona, Mehdi Nebbou, Aurelien Recoing de la Comedie-Francaise, Karina Testa
Director : Frederic Schoendoerffer
Running Time : 104 mins

Unemployed Canadian fashion designer Sophie Malaterre (Vanasse) hears about a website called switch.com, where people can trade homes for a holiday. She chooses a place in Paris opposite the Eiffel Tower and trades places with a woman named Benedicte Serteaux (Testa). Everything seems great until she wakes up the next morning to find the police breaking down her door and Serteaux’s dead boyfriend in the spare room.

This is an energetic and intriguing mystery, but it leaves a lot of questions unanswered. I’m still not sure how Serteaux managed to remove Sophie from the plane's manifest, why Serteaux's neighbours thought Sophie was her (they didn't look that much alike), and how crap is airline security that they didn’t notice a severed head in the hold? The reason behind the identity swap eventually makes sense, so that’s the main thing, but the inconsistencies to the story spoil what could have otherwise been a damn fine thriller.

You’ll like this if you liked : Unknown

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes (2014) 6/10

Starring : Andy Serkis, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell
Director : Matt Reeves
Running Time : 131 mins

Ten years have passed since a pandemic has wiped out much of mankind and a nation of genetically evolved apes find themselves under threat from the human survivors. Following an alliance of sorts, the apes soon turn on the humans when Cesar (Serkis) is shot, but was it by man... or ape?

I was rather concerned when this started off like one of the terrible Ewok movies of the eighties, with apes milling around and us, the viewers, expected to fill in the gaps of narrative. After about an hour things get going, but the move from simple storytelling to all-out action is something of a huge jump, and it almost feels like there was a change in director half way through the movie, Fans of Rise Of The Planet Of The paes will undoubtedly be disappointed at this basic sequel with little or no character to speak of, but if you like Michael Bay style action then at the very least check out the final hour.

You’ll like this if you liked : World War Z

Superman Vs The Elite (2012) 7/10

Starring : George Newbern, Pauley Perrette, Robin Atkin Downes, Catero Colbert, Melissa Disney, Andrew Kishino
Director : Michael Change
Running Time : 75 mins

Superman (Newbern) meets a brand new team of superheroes that call themselves the Elite, and soon learns to respect their abilities and hopes they will join him in defending mankind from the evils of the world. But when they start to use tactics that are both violent and over the top, the Man of Steel starts to feel that perhaps they aren’t as heroic as he first thought they might be. But with public opinion siding with the Elite, does this mean that Superman’s non-violent approach might be outdated?

It’s hard to say who to support in this movie. The only reason that the Elite go after Supes is because if they don’t he’d try to stop them, claiming that they are villains for killing criminals. But it has to be said that some criminals in the DC Universe should be killed, because innocents will die if they are allowed to live. Fans of Superman might actually find themselves disagreeing with his stand against this team of heroes who want to save mankind by killing criminals, but hardcore fans will want Supes to win with his unrealistic ideals.

You’ll like this if you liked : Justice League : Doom

The Heat (2013) 7/10

Starring : Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy, Demian Bichir, Marlon Wayans
Director : Paul Feig
Running Time : 113 mins

In order to be considered for a promotion, uptight and ambitious FBI agent Sarah Ashburn (Bullock) is forced to team up with angry unorthodox detective Shannon Mullins (McCarthy). The two instantly take a disliking to each-other, but are forced to work together in order to take down a mysterious drug lord that no-one has ever seen, known only as Larkin.

Bullock feels like she prepared to appear in Miss Congeniality in this hit and miss buddy-cop comedy. McCarthy’s character is so over the top it becomes harder and harder to believe she hadn’t been kicked off the force years earlier, and although the plotline makes reasonable sense, this could have been a whole lot better if there were actual clues for the cops to follow rather than what feels like increasingly dumb luck.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Other Guys

Across The Universe (2007) 5/10

Starring : Evan Rachel Wood, Jim Sturgess
Director : Julie Taymor
Running Time : 134 mins

Liverpudlian Jude (Strugess) and American Lucy (Wood) meet by chance when Jude travels to the USA to find his father. Surrounded by friends and family affected by the war effort, the two form an unlikely bond as she tries to cope with her brother being called up for military service and he tries to deal with discovering that his father is a janitor.

I guess you’d have to be a huge Beatles fan to enjoy this musical. There is very little story linking the songs or even the characters together – instead this appears to just be a series of songs linked together by an era rather than a plot, and the whole war-torn world theme is a little weak as a link. The only way this could have worked is if, at the end, all the characters come together (no pun intended) and connect over a single event, but as it is the connection of the war effort feels a little weak and tacked on. Plus the relationship between the two leads does not feel plausible to me – for most of the film I felt that Lucy really didn’t like Jude, so it’s strange that a romance springs from this, and in an unlikely way.

You’ll like this if you liked : Moulin Rouge!

The Hobbit : The Battle Of The Five Armies (2014) 7/10

Starring : Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Evangeline Lily, Luke Evans, Lee Pace, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ken Stott, Aidan Turner, Dean O’Gorman, Billy Connolly, Graham McTavish, James Nesbitt, Stephen Fry, Ryan Gage, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, Orlando Bloom
Director : Peter Jackson
Running Time : 145 mins

When Smaug (Cumberbatch) is killed and the Lonely Mountain is freed from his rule, a number of armies descend on the area, each wanting the return of the treasures stolen from them over the years by the hateful dragon, but their lust for treasures soon leads most of the clans into an all out war with each other as they try to claim back what they believe is rightfully theirs.

One hell of an extended battle scene, this movie may be visually rewarding but the story is spread so thinly it’s amazing that it manages to stay entertaining for the most part. As everyone’s favourite Tolkien characters seemingly show up for no apparent reason, we are given a somewhat repetitive story that tries to distract us with special effects and random deaths.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Lord Of The Rings : The Return Of The King

And Soon The Darkness (2010) 6/10

Starring : Amber Heard, Odette Yustman, Karl Urban
Director : Marcos Efron
Running Time : 92 mins

American tourists Stephanie (Heard) and Ellie (Yustman) take a bike trip through Argentina, having missed their bus due to a drunken night out, but when Ellie mysteriously disappears Stephanie finds herself in a fight to free her from a kidnapping ring that is operating in the area.

You’d imagine with this being a remake that there’d have been a reason to remake it. Perhaps if the writers or director had some new ideas they wanted to add, or they wanted to engage us in some way, but this movie is just so humdrum and dull, with little or no tension, that there’s no way anyone could find it gripping. The acting is pretty bad, and the logic behind Heard’s discovery is far too coincidental for my liking. The only thing this has going for it is tension, which is pretty well executed throughout, but the payoff isn’t worth the wait as, to be fair, there are only really two suspects in the whole movie.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Hills Have Eyes

Jackass Presents : Bad Grandpa (2013) 7/10

Starring : Johnny Knoxville, Jackson Niccoll
Director : Jeff Tremaine
Running Time : 103 mins

Following the death of his wife and the incarceration of his daughter, octogenarian Irving Zisman (Knoxville) takes a cross country trip with his grandson Billy (Niccoll) to get him to his real father who has been charged with taking care of him. Along the way Irving tries to teach his grandson some valuable life lessons, including how to pick up women, and Billy soon starts to wish he could stay with his grandpa forever.

If you’ve ever seen Betty White’s Off Their Rockers and Jackass, then you can pretty much imagine what this is about. Grandpa gets thrown about the place and injured in various imaginative ways that would kill any true elderly fellow. This movie benefits from the presence of Jackson Niccoll, the young actor who anyone who’s seen Fun Size will know is going to be a future acting genius. This is fun filled and action packed, and fans of silliness will enjoy every minute of this.

You’ll like this if you liked : Big Daddy

Flyboys (2006) 6/10

Starring : James Franco, Martin Henderson, David Ellison, Jennifer Decker, Jean Reno
Director : Tony Bill
Running Time : 139 mins

During World War I, a group of American soldiers are sent to France in order to fight as pilots against the Germans. Initially excited by the prospect of battling the enemy, the young pilots soon realise just how lucky they will have to be to make it through the next two years...

The flight scenes of this war movie are pretty impressive, but the characters really didn’t do anything to make this movie gripping, especially considering I like Tyler Labine who is not his usual whacky self her whatsoever. Reno is wasted in this, and Franco is so wooden it’s scary. If you like war films, this might whet your appetite in part, especially the flight scenes, but as a complete movie this is on the whole too boring and gives us little in terms of historical learning or character development, in spite of the fact that the characters are meant to change drastically throughout the course of the film.

You’ll like this if you liked : Red Tails

Lucy (2014) 8/10

Starring : Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman
Director : Luc Besson
Running Time : 89 mins

After finding herself unwittingly involved with a group of Chinese gangsters, Lucy (Johansson) has a bag of drugs stitched into her body and is forced to become a drug mule, but when the bag bursts and releases the drugs into her system she soon discovers that the drug increases her brain capacity to ten times that of a normal human being, transforming her into an amoral killing machine.

This starts out great, with a surprising twist as Lucy is dragged into the world of a drug mule, then finds herself obtaining bizarre abilities from the drugs in question. Johansson is fantastic in the lead and the movie progresses perfectly, almost until the very end when time travel gets involved and ruins everything. If the ending had have been slightly different, or less ridiculous, then this could have been a five star movie.

You’ll like this if you liked : Limitless

Parasitic (2012) 4/10

Starring : Bianca Holland, Amanda Beck, Miguel De La Rosa, Marcus Jordan
Director : Tim Martin
Running Time : 79 mins

A batch of contaminated fish, infected with an alien parasite, causes the inhabitants of a night club to fear for their lives as they find themselves trapped in a building with their infected manager Val (Holland) running around infecting them with the parasitic worm that has set up shop inside her throat.

Wow. The acting in this movie is by and far the worst I have seen in a long time. Even the varying arrays of bouncing bosoms couldn’t distract attention away from the fact that this flick has some of the most poorly written and delivered dialogue ever committed to film. The random need for people to get naked was interesting, “Oh, I’ve just been sick and none of it got on my top, I’d better take it off anyway,” “Oh, I’m so sick, maybe taking off my bra will help,”, but it wasn’t even done in a funny way, more in a ‘this is porn, but it’s too gross for porn’ way. Seriously, steer clear.

You’ll like this if you liked : Zombie Strippers

August : Osage County (2013) 6/10

Starring : Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Ewan McGregor, Chris Cooper, Abigail Breslin, Benedict Cumberbatch, Juliette Lewis, Margo Martindale, Dermot Mulroney, Julianne Nicholson, Sam Shepard, Misty Upham
Director : John Wells
Running Time : 121 mins

When the patriarch of the Weston family dies, the rest of the family find themselves thrown together in an unwelcome and uncomfortable way, having to play nice with the people they have grown to hate over the years, specifically pill-addicted cancer suffering matriarch Violet Weston (Streep) whose opinions and views on life make her children even more miserable.

From the trailers, the movie posters, even from word of mouth, this sounded like it was going to be a light-hearted comedy drama, perhaps with an edge that would delve into some darkness towards the end, but other than the odd bit of slapstick and some one-liners, this was nothing but solid drama. It was uncomfortable to watch at times, and the characters are both unlikeable and, on the whole, irredeemable. If you don’t like movies that delve into addiction, child-abuse, and all sorts of horribleness, then skip this.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Savages

Insomnia (2002) 8/10

Starring : Al Pacino, Robin Williams, Hilary Swank, Maura Tierney, Martin Donovan, Nicky Katt, Paul Dooley
Director : Christopher Nolan
Running Time : 119 mins

While investigating the death of a young girl in a small Alaskan town, police detective Will Dormer (Pacino) accidentally shoots dead his partner Hap Eckhart (Donovan) while in pursuit of a suspect. Rather than come forward, Dormer claims the suspect shot his partner, but when he is approached by the suspect, Walter Finch (Williams), who saw him shoot his partner, he is forced to cover for the killer or face murder charges.

This intriguing thriller manages to give us surprises without actually throwing them in our faces. The performances are pretty good and the plot is reasonably believable, and as the movie progresses the holw that Pacino has dug for himself makes the action increasingly tense. Well worth watching, even if the title is a little misleading and only refers to the months of daylight experienced by the small Alaskan town.

You’ll like this if you liked : A Simple Plan

The Inbetweeners 2 (2014) 8/10

Starring : Simon Bird, James Buckley, Blake Harrison, Joe Thomas
Director : Damon Beesley & Iain Morris
Running Time : 91 mins

Bored with life in the UK, Will (Bird) and the boys decide to take a four week trip to Australia to visit Jay (Buckley), who claims he is running a night club and swimming in girls, but they soon discover that as usual he is full of it and the truth is he went out there to find his ex-girlfriend, while Will runs into the girl of his dreams from prep school and desperately tries to win her affections.

This is pretty much what you’d expect from the Inbetweeners, filled with gross out comedy and offensive humour, and it works wonderfully well. The boys are just the same as they were in the show, and their relationships with each other are perfectly examined. Some of the highlights include Will being chased down a waterslide by a turd, Simon being accused of being a paedophile, and a great montage of Jay’s fictitious life in Australia.

You’ll like this if you liked : Kevin And Perry Go Large