Red State (2011) 7/10

Starring : Michael Angarano, Kerry Bishe, Nicholas Braun, Kyle Gallner, John Goodman, Melissa Leo, Michael Parks, Kevin Pollak, Stephen Root
Director : Kevin Smith
Running Time : 89 mins

Three teenagers respond to an invitation on a sex site asking them for a group session. They head out that night to the location specified, only to be captured by Five Points Trinity Church, a religious group opposed to anything deemed sexually deviant. When one of the teens makes a break for it, the Churches actions attract the attention of the local police and a gun fight ensues.

This starts off okay, then gets a little boring when the teens are kidnapped, but as the gunfight progresses the pacing picks up well and things really get going. The acting isn’t particularly great, and the characters aren’t that likeable, but people who like what basically boils down to a rape-revenge movie without the rape will enjoy this uncharacteristic offering from Kevin Smith.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Hills Have Eyes II

Philomena (2013) 9/10

Starring : Judi Dench, Steve Coogan, Sophie Kennedy Clark, Mare Winningham
Director : Stephen Frears
Running Time : 99 mins

Disgraced Labour MP Martin Sixsmith (Coogan) decides to go back to his previous job as a journalist and agrees to do a human interest story about Philomena Lee (Dench), a woman whose son was taken away from her fifty years earlier by a group of nuns. As he investigates he discovers there is much more to the story and that the nuns had been selling the children to wealthy Americans and then purposely keeping details of the parents and children away from those that tried to find their families.

This is a wonderfully fun yet sad story that is perfectly performed by Dench and Coogan. Midway the story seems to come to an end, but what follows shows how far the character of Sixsmith has come in the course of the movie. Fans of Dench will love her in this, and fans of Coogan will be surprised by his ability to perform drama as well as comedy. This is a true gem that everyone will enjoy.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Sessions

Stardom (2000) 7/10

Starring : Jessica Pare, Dan Aykroyd, Charles Berling, Robert Lepage, Camilla Rutherford, Thomas Gibson, Frank Langella
Director : Denys Arcand
Running Time : 103 mins

Wannabe Canadian model Tina Menzhal (Pare) is discovered while playing hockey and is soon whisked into the world of an international model. She is seemingly followed around by a documentary crew who record her rise to fame and the various pitfalls that journey entails, including how the media treat her and invade her life.

This movie takes the idea of fame and shows how the media can really turn facts around and shape them to suit their needs. Pare is suitably vapid and oblivious to what’s going on around her for the lead role, and the documentary style really helps give us an idea of how a simple individual can be affected by the actions of the media. Although a little slow in places, this is well worth watching if you are a fan of documentaries concerning the rich and famous, and is an enlightening look at how politics is so entwined with celebrity in the modern age.

You’ll like this if you liked : For Your Consideration

Saving Santa (2013) 7/10

Starring : Martin Freeman, Tim Curry, Pam Ferris, Joan Collins
Director : Leon Joosen & Aaron Seelman
Running Time : 84 mins

Bernard D Elf (Freeman) dreams of becoming an inventor, but is mocked by his peers for his crazy notions. When Santa is kidnapped by Neville Baddington (Curry), the owner of a delivery company that covets Santa’s secret of how he delivers all his presents in one night, Bernard must rise to the challenge of defeating the bad guys by using Santa’s secret – a time travel device – and his own unique brand of ingenuity.

Christmas movies are generally either really good or really bad, but Saving Santa is actually kind of mediocre. The animation isn’t the best, and the voice actors – in spite of some big names – feel a little flat at times, with the concept itself not used as well as it could have been. Children will no doubt find this entertaining enough, but there isn’t enough going on to really grip an adult audience.

You’ll like this if you liked : Free Birds

Lost Christmas (2011) 8/10

Starring : Eddie Izzard, Jason Flemyng, Geoffrey Palmer, Sorcha Cusack, Steven Mackintosh, Christine Bottomley, Larry Mills
Director : John Hay
Running Time : 89 mins

The Christmas after Goose (Mills) is orphaned when his parents are killed in a car accident, he meets an odd man named Anthony (Izzard) who has no memory of who he is but has the ability to find lost things by touching the person who has lost them. Together with Frank (Flemyng), the man Goose fences stolen goods through, they attempt to track down a valuable book that Frank lost a few days earlier.

This starts off slowly and doesn’t feel like it’s going to be anything new, then Eddie Izzard shows up and all my expectations went out the window. This children’s drama is interesting in its tone and its pure Christmas sentimentality, and makes for a thought provoking viewing experience. Fans of Izzard will be impressed by his dramatic performance, but don’t try looking for holes in the story as there are many, which is common in movies of this ilk.

You’ll like this if you liked : It’s A Wonderful Life

Nativity 2 : Danger In The Manger! (2012) 5/10

Starring : David Tennant, Marc Wootton, Jason Watkins, Joanna Page, Ian McNeice, Rose Cavaliero, Jessica Hynes, Pam Ferris
Director : Debbie Isitt
Running Time : 106 mins

Desmond Poppy (Wootton) discovers that there is a countrywide competition open to schools to produce a Christmas song, but is informed by headmistress Mrs Bevan (Ferris) that the school doesn’t have the money or the resources to take the kids to Wales for the competition. So when new teacher Donald Peterson (Tennant) starts at the school, Mr Poppy tricks him on board a school bus and drives to Wales with the kids.

This starts off cute, but soon feels like a repeat of the first movie without any of the charm. I couldn’t figure what Mr Poppy’s reasoning was behind getting Mr Peterson on the school trip considering whoever went with him he was still kidnapping a school class. Basically this film is about an unstable man who kidnaps a classroom full of kids and, although small children might find the silliness entertaining, most grown ups will just look at how dangerous the fun this movie portrays would be in reality.

You’ll like this if you liked : Little Miss Sunshine

This Christmas (2007) 6/10

Starring : Delroy Lindo, Idris Elba, Loretta Devine, Chris Brown, Columbus Short, Regina King
Director : Preston A Whitmore II
Running Time : 114 mins

It’s been four years since the Whitfield family have spent Christmas together, and finally matriarch Shirley Ann (Devine), known to her kids as Ma’Dere, has managed to get them all together, but they are all keeping secrets about their private lives from their family, and it might just take a Christmas miracle for them to open up to each other.

This drama plodded along with no real direction, and the individual storylines weren’t that impressive, specifically the one surrounding Regina King which was meant to be a bit of a comedy moment but didn’t quite work for me. It’s a shame the script wasn’t a bit sharper or the actors a bit more interested in their parts or this could have actually been a pretty fun Christmas movie that didn’t rely on the obvious resolutions or the ideas of a Christmas miracle to resolve its storyline.

You’ll like this if you liked : Four Christmases

Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014) 9/10

Starring : Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Lee Pace
Director : James Gunn
Running Time : 121 mins

Intergalactic thief Peter Quill (Pratt) steals a valuable orb and soon finds himself teaming up with a band of disparate beings as they attempt to sell off the orb for a profit, but when the realise that the orb is in fact a weapon they find themselves in a whole heap of danger from every mercenary under the sun and are targeted by the son of Thanos, Ronan The Accuser (Pace) who plans on using the orb to destroy the galaxy.

It’s surprising that such a little known comic book that has only recently had a revival should get the big screen treatment, but it works incredibly well. Pratt is perfect as Quill, and this seems to have opened the path to Hollywood for him after his time in Parks And Recreation as he is scheduled to star in the upcoming Jurassic World. The rest of the cast are great, and the humour and drama are perfectly matched at the right level. A must see for any fan of marvels latest batch of movies.

You’ll like this if you liked : 4 : Rise Of The Silver Surfer

Cosmopolis (2012) 5/10

Starring : Robert Pattinson, Paul Giamatti, Samantha Morton, Sarah Gadon, Mathieu Amalric, Juliette Binoche, Jay Baruchel, Kevin Durand
Director : David Cronenberg
Running Time : 105 mins

Billionaire Eric Packer (Pattinson) travels through the streets of Manhattan in the back of his limo, on his way to a barber’s appointment. Along the way he meets up with a wide variety of people, kills his bodyguard, and organises a meeting with Benno Levin (Giamatti), a man who wants him dead.

This was so boring it’s hard to say where to begin. Pattinson is about as charismatic as a glass of water and manages to take a dull and directionless script and suck anything redeemable about it straight back out. The supporting cast, though adept, have nothing to play with here and basically meander through the movie doing nothing of consequence while making me want to go to sleep, although the closing scenes with Giamatti did help redeem the movie in a small way. It’s possible that the dullness of this movie is supposed to be a reflection on how capitalism has drained all the life out of the world, but the fact that this was completely missed by me proves that this is Cronenberg at his worst.

You’ll like this if you liked : Crash

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After Earth (2013) 7/10

Starring : Jaden Smith, Will Smith, Zoe Isabella Kravitz, Sophie Okonedo
Director : M Night Shyamalan
Running Time : 100 mins

Thirteen year old Kitai Raige (Jaden Smith) lives on Nova Prime, one thousand years after humanity was forced to flee Earth. When his father Cypher Raige (Will Smith) returns from a tour of duty, they are caught in an asteroid storm which forces their ship to crash land on an unrecognisable Earth. With his father injured and dying, Kitai is forced to become a man and try to recover their rescue beacon so that they can be rescued.

This is basically a vehicle for Jaden Smith with his dad taking the back burner for the most part. There isn’t much to the basic plot which relies heavily on visuals to get its message across, and surprisingly there isn’t really a twist in the end – something you’d expect from Shyamalan. Instead this is a sort of message of hope, wrapped in a message telling us that we are going to destroy our planet.

You’ll like this if you liked : Oblivion

The Rookie (2002) 7/10

Starring : Dennis Quaid, Rachel Griffiths, Jay Hernandez, Beth Grant, Angus T Jones, Brian Cox
Director : John Lee Hancock
Running Time : 129 mins

Chemistry teacher and baseball coach Jimmy Morris (Quaid) once dreamt of becoming a professional baseball player but never tried out. Now almost forty, some of his players persuade him to take a bet – if they win the championships he’ll try out for a professional team. When they do, he tries out and successfully lands himself a place on a team, bringing his 98mph pitching arm top the attention of the entire country.

This feel good family movie is a typical Disney everyman-makes-good flick that always appeals to the masses. Quaid does a decent job in the lead, finding his luck hard to believe for the duration of the film, and the supporting cast – though not outstanding in any way – lend credibility to his character that could otherwise have been absent without them.

You’ll like this if you liked : Field Of Dreams

Divergent (2014) 8/10

Starring : Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Ashley Judd, Jai Courtney, Ray Stevenson, Zoe Kravitz, Miles Teller, Tony Goldwyn, Ansel Elgort, Maggie Q, Mekhi Phifer, Kate Winslet
Director : Neil Burger
Running Time : 140 mins

In the future society has divided into five distinct factions, none of which are interchangeable, and teenagers must choose their factions for life. When Tris Prior (Woodley) discovers that she is what is known as Divergent, meaning that she can easily fit into any faction while not really fitting into any one, she discovers that her life is in danger if anyone were to find out...

This was actually a reasonable teen sci-fi drama that had some pretty good acting and a reasonably decent script, though some of the reasoning behind Tris’s decisions isn’t explained very well. It was nice to see Woodley and Teller on screen again following their awesome performance in The Spectacular Now and, though the plot is reminiscent of many other teen fictions of recent years, this is still an action packed and though provoking flick.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Hunger Games : Catching Fire

13 Assassins (2010) 8/10

Starring : Koji Yakusho, Takayuki Yamada, Yuseke Iseya, Goro Inagaki, Masachika Ichimura, Mikijiro Hira
Director : Takashi Miike
Running Time : 142 mins

The evil Lord Naritsugu (Inagaki) poses a threat to the people of Feudal Japan, so a team of thirteen men are formed and set out to assassinate the Lord before he can journey back to the Akashi land. On their journey they are faced by many enemies, not the least being Naritsugu’s army of seventy men.

The setup for this movie is really what makes it, showing the feudal lord as being as evil as you could possibly imagine, with him raping, killing, and dismembering people all in the opening scenes. This is quite different to the movies that really made Takashi Miike so well-known – namely Ichi The Killer and Audition – but has all the violence you’d expect from one of his films, coupled with a solid storyline. Granted, the body count feels a little high, but the depth of the sadness the assassins feel and their righteousness in their actions make this a compelling and rewarding film.

You’ll like this if you liked : Hero

Dead Man Down (2013) 6/10

Starring : Colin Farrell, Noomi Rapace, Terrence Howard, Dominic Cooper
Director : Niels Arden Oplev
Running Time : 118 mins

Career criminal Victor (Farrell) decides to take revenge against crime boos Alphonse (Howard) by infiltrating his gang, but his actions come to the attention of his disillusioned neighbour Beatrice (Rapace) who, upon discovering Victors plans, blackmails him into seeking out revenge against those that have wronged her.

This is a pretty standard crime movie that had nothing special to deliver. The execution was slow, and filled with the kind of language that is becoming increasingly annoying in British gangster flicks, and Farrell and Rapace themselves were just too ordinary in their delivery and performance. Personally I wouldn’t bother with this misleadingly titled attempt at making an intelligent crime caper.

You’ll like this if you liked : Snitch

Big Mommas : Like Father Like Son (2011) 5/10

Starring : Martin Lawrence, Brandon T Jackson, Jessica Lucas
Director : John Whitesell
Running Time : 103 mins

Malcolm Turner (Lawrence) once again dons the guise of Big Momma, this time bringing his stepson Trent (Jackson) along for the ride, when the two are forced to hide from a group of villains after witnessing a murder. The two take up residence in an all girl’s school for the performing arts where a flash drive that the gang are after has been hidden.

It’s a shame that Martin Lawrence seems to have allowed himself to be trapped by the curse of Big Momma. At least the reasons for Lawrence to dress as Big Momma made a little more sense than in the second film, but his disguise still could have been less flamboyant. The addition of Jackson does nothing to help this movie, and his rapping is abysmal and made me want to cry with shame that this movie ever got made.

You’ll like this if you liked : Miss Congeniality 2 : Armed And Fabulous

Muppets Most Wanted (2014) 8/10

Starring : Steve Whitmore, Eric Jacobson, Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell, Tina Fey, Matt Vogel
Director : James Bobin
Running Time : 108 mins

Following the success of their revival show, The Muppets are approached by a shady agent named Dominic Badguy (Gervais) who convinces them to go on a world tour with their show so that they can become famous in every country in the world. But the truth behind Badguy’s plans is to replace Kermit (Whitmore) with his criminal lookalike Constantine (Vogel) so that the two of them can set out on a sinister international crime spree.

Featuring what feels like a lot more songs than the 2011 Muppet movie, I actually thought this was a far better film. The plot wasn’t as weak, and the songs were more imaginative and fun to listen to. Kids and adults alike will enjoy this latest Muppet movie, which is filled with silly humour and funny set pieces that everyone can enjoy, and on the whole the guest stars were both excellent and surprising.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Great Muppet Caper

Keith Lemon : The Film (2012) 4/10

Starring : Leigh Francis, Verne Troyer, Kevin Bishop, Laura Aikman, David Hasselhoff, Conleth Hill, Nina Wadia, Harish Patel, Kelly Brook
Director : Paul Angunawela
Running Time : 82 mins

When Keith Lemon (Francis) travels to London to try and promote his new security product, no one is interested, but there he meets fellow entrepreneur Kushvinder (Patel) offers him his invention – a buttonless cell phone – he becomes an overnight millionaire, turning his back on his girlfriend Rosie (Aikman) in favour of model Kelly Brook.

This is to Celebrity Juice what Guest House Paradiso was to Bottom. Fans of Celebrity Juice and Bo Selecta might enjoy some parts of this movie, but the humour is so juvenile there is barely a chucklesome moment in the whole film, which feels decidedly longer than its measly 82 minutes. The acting is terrible, the plot is weak, and the jokes basically revolve around sex, cocks, arses and fannies. Steer clear if you are not familiar with the works of Leigh Francis, and probably avoid if you like him because this will ruin his comedy for you.

You’ll like this if you liked : Guest House Paradiso

Oldboy (2013) 7/10

Starring : Josh Brolin, Elizabeth Olsen, Sharlto Copley, Samuel L Jackson
Director : Spike Lee
Running Time : 104 mins

Following twenty years of being mysteriously incarcerated in a hotel room with no contact to the outside world other than a single TV set, Joe Doucett (Brolin) wakes up in a trunk in the middle of a field. Having discovered he has been framed for the murder of his wife, he sets out to find who really killed her and exact revenge, while also trying to find his missing daughter.

Many would say that remaking the classic Korean movie Oldboy would be a huge mistake, and I’ll admit I was one of those people. But for those who have never seen the original this is an interesting and disturbing movie that admittedly is enjoyable. Lee has apparently claimed that this is based on the Manga and not the movie but, other than the very ending, this is almost identical to the 2003 version, without the bravery that that movie possessed in its final conclusion. For a watered down version of Oldboy, this is okay, but I much preferred the original and really hope (and suspect) that the rest of the Vengeance Trilogy are not translated.

You’ll like this if you liked : Taken 2

Notorious (2009) 7/10

Starring : Angela Bassett, Derek Luke, Jamal Woolard, Anthony Mackie
Director : George Tillman Jr
Running Time : 123 mins

Christopher Wallace (Woolard) is a young kid growing up in the crime ridden area of Bedstuy, Brooklyn. As he grows up, following his dream of writing rap lyrics, he gets involved in drug dealing and becomes a big time dealer, eventually making a mistake that sends him to prison. When he makes friends with Sean Coombs (Luke), a record producer, Wallace soon finds himself on the road to stardom as the Notorious B.I.G.

This movie looks at the rise to fame of the Notorious B.I.G, his feud with Tupac Shakur, and how fame and fortune went to his head and lead him to cheat on his wife Faith Evans. It’s an interesting drama, and doesn’t make any false claims that Biggie is a sympathetic character, and shows that he was a rapper who actually wrote about his life, not one of those wannabes you get nowadays who just write about bitches and drugs because that’s what they think rap music is all about. This biopic is a little long, but it is entertaining and gives a good picture of how Biggie’s life was from a young age until his death.

You’ll like this if you liked : Tina