The Watch (2012) 8/10

Starring : Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade
Director : Akiva Schaffer
Running Time : 102 mins

Costco manager Evan (Stiller) decides to organise a neighbourhood watch when the security guard at his store is murdered and skinned. With the help of his neighbours Bob (Vaughn), Franklin (Hill) and Jamarcus (Ayoade) the group soon discover that the killer may not actually be human when they accidentally hit what appears to be an octopus filled with green goo and discover a glowing metal ball that can blow things up. Things get worse when they discover the aliens are using the skin of their victims to hide amongst them.

This might not have had the deepest storyline, but it was fun and kept me entertained. There’s a bit of a mystery mixed with a lot of silly humour and the combination of different personalities work together very well. Fans of movies like Evolution or The Forty Year-Old Virgin will enjoy the character play in this sci-fi comedy.

You’ll like this if you liked : Men In Black

Fair Game (2010) 7/10

Starring : Naomi Watts, Sean Penn, Sam Shepard, Noah Emerrich, Michael Kelly, Bruce McGill, David Andrews
Director : Doug Liman
Running Time : 108 mins

CIA operative Valerie Plame (Watts) finds her job at risk when she suspects that the American government may have leaked her identity in retaliation to her husband Joe Wilson (Penn) writing an anti-Bush administration article claiming that they fudged the facts about WMD’s in Iraq in order to gain public backing for an invasion.

The focus of this movie isn’t so much on how the American government ruined people’s careers out of sheer spite but more on how one woman, Valerie Plame, tried to cope with the fallout of the media attention and all of the lies that result in her losing her job. With the focus remaining firmly on the relationship between Valerie and Joe, this at times plays out more like a soap opera than a political thriller, but their relationship was the focus of their two books based on these events so perhaps that’s why the focus lies where it does. This is tense and enjoyable, though it does go on for a little longer than necessary.

You’ll like this if you liked : Enemy Of The State

Moonrise Kingdom (2012) 6/10

Starring : Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward
Director : Wes Anderson
Running Time : 94 mins

It’s 1965, and on a small island off the New England coast 12 year-old Sam (Gilman) disappears from his Scout troop. A search party is organized and it is soon discovered that he has run away with his pen pal Suzy (Hayward), the two of them claiming to have fallen in love with each other.

Typically of a Wes Anderson movie, the action lies more in the stunted speech of the characters rather than the activities themselves. Fans of his movies will surely recognize and enjoy many of the characters, but the quirkiness isn’t quite at its usual peak with this, possibly due to the fact that many of the actors linked with Anderson’s films are there but don’t do much with their roles. Some might say this is so they don’t steal the thunder of the two young leads, but Anderson’s ability to make the mundane seem quirky was mostly absent for me in this poor effort, and when it did appear it just felt forced.

You’ll like this if you liked : Bridge To Terabithia

X (2011) 4/10

Starring : Viva Bianca, Hanna Mangan-Lawrence, Peter Docker, Stephen Phillips
Director : Jon Hewitt
Running Time : 90 mins

Holly Rowe (Bianca) is a long time call girl who has decided to quit the business in the hopesw of moving from Sydney to Paris, but on her last night of work she meets a young runaway called Shay Ryan (Mangan-Lawrence) who is working her first night as a prostitute and the two find themselves on the run when they witness a drug deal go terribly wrong.

Personally I didn’t enjoy this movie. It felt like a poor attempt as taking The Girlfriend Experience and making it into a thriller. This is meant to be realistic, but how often do prostitutes find themselves on the run from murderous drug dealers? Those who just want to see a bit of nudity might be disappointed as there isn’t that much – the first nude shot is a guy with his dick out, so that’s the sort of level you should expect.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Girlfriend Experience

The Expendables 2 (2012) 6/10

Starring : Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger
Director : Simon West
Running Time : 103 mins

Mr Church (Willis) reunites Barney Ross (Stallone) and his team of expendables for a mission which will take them into the former Soviet Union where they need to recover a mysterious package. When one of their number is captured, tortured and killed in order to get access to the package, Ross makes it his mission to track down the man responsible, Vilain (Van Damme), and discovers that the package contains a computer with the co-ordinates to a secret Russian plutonium mine.

This was pretty mediocre for an action movie, but the selling point is the amount of action stars it includes. This time around there are even more, and that’s what the fans want. Sadly the plot is not that original, the acting is what you’d expect, and the action isn’t actually that thrilling. There are some purposeful references to characters catch-phrases from previous films, most notably for Arnie and Bruce Willis, and that might raise a few smiles amongst action fans.

You’ll like this if you liked : GI Joe : The Rise Of Cobra

Deadline (2009) 4/10

Starring : Brittany Murphy, Thora Birch, Tammy Blanchard, Marc Blucas
Director : Sean McConville
Running Time : 82 mins

Alice Evans (Murphy) is a writer, working on a screenplay, who is recovering from a breakdown. In an attempt to get writing again, she takes up residence in an old house in the middle of nowhere in the hope of getting some peace, quiet, and inspiration, but when she finds a box filled with some old video camera tape she starts to become intrigued by the couple featured in the tapes.

It’s almost as if someone sat down and watched The Shining and decided they could make a movie that didn’t make much sense too. It’s never really explained why the ghost is haunting Murphy or what the relevance is between her haunting and her mental breakdown, other than to cast doubt on whether or not the ghost is real. The watching of the videos was a bit weird – I guess she was watching them to get ideas for her screenplay, as is made evident at the end – but I’m still not sure if the husband was a ghost or not, the film seems to make out he wasn’t dead, even after the hanging scene, and how did Murphy recognise him when he was never shown on the camera?

You’ll like this if you liked : The Uninvited

Brave (2012) 7/10

Starring : Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Julie Walters
Director : Mark Andrews & Brenda Chapman
Running Time : 94 mins

Merida (Macdonald) is a Scottish princess who wants nothing more than to be allowed to practice her archery skills and to not be forced into doing girlie things, but when she is told she has to find a husband she argues with her mum Queen Elinor (Thompson) and rebels against her parents, running off into the woods. There she comes across a house owned by a witch (Walters), who she convinces to cast a spell upon her mother to get her to change her mind about Merida’s marriage. Unfortunately the spell goes wrong and Elinor and her three boys are accidentally turned into bears.

This takes a little while to really get going, what with the flashback sequence with the king losing his foot and then the scenes with the proposed husbands for Merida, but once we get to the witch’s house and Merida gets her spell, things really get going at a past pace. Fans of Pixar movies might not think this is the best, but in comparison to recent Disney Classics it is definitely up there with the best of them.

You’ll like this if you liked : Brother Bear

Father Of Invention (2010) 7/10

Starring : Kevin Spacey, Camilla Belle, Heather Graham, Johnny Knoxville, Anna Anissimova
Director : Trent Cooper
Running Time : 94 mins

Following an eight year stint in prison for injuring his customers, professional fabricator Robert Axle (Spacey) returns to his family home and tries to lead a normal life again. Unfortunately the call of invention is forever in his blood, and he can’t resist trying to get his new ideas funded, even if it means stealing from his friends and family and pretending to be someone he isn’t.

This wasn’t a particularly inspired movie, but then it wasn’t that bad. Spacey is likeable enough as the inventor that wants nothing more than to be a household name again, but for a positive reason, and the supporting cast – though a little downplayed – put in an acceptable performance. I did like the idea that he went to prison because of the stupidity of the kind of people that buys things from infomercials, and that his competitors get away with real crimes like stealing his ideas.

You’ll like this if you liked : Crazy On The Outside

The Dictator (2012) 8/10

Starring : Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, Jason Mantzoukas, Ben Kingsley
Director : Larry Charles
Running Time : 99 mins

Admiral General Aladeen (Cohen), the leader of the Republic of Wadiya, is asked to attend a UN summit meeting in New York where the UN hope to convince him to share his countries oil and prevent him from pursuing the development of nuclear weapons, but Aladeen is betrayed by his right hand man Tamir (Kingsley) who wants to make a deal with the west and end Wadiya’s dictatorship by replacing Aladeen with an imposter.

I was actually surprised that this was so funny. Granted, it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I think it was a vast improvement on Bruno, and I’m glad that Cohen has moved away from the documentary style of movie he seemed happy to make and has instead moved into making properly scripted feature films.

You’ll like this if you liked : Four Lions

American Pie Presents Beta House (2007) 6/10

Starring : John White, Steve Talley, Meghan Heffern, Jake Siegel, Christopher McDonald, Eugene Levy
Director : Andrew Waller
Running Time : 85 mins

Erik Stifler (White) is starting college, and he and his friend Cooze (Siegel) decide to go to the same college they visited last year – the one Erik’s cousin Dwight (Talley) attends. They decide to pledge Beta House, the frat run by Dwight, and are given a series of impossible tasks to complete. But things get even worse when the local Geek fraternity decide to make it their mission to close Beta House down for good.

Even though this has pretty much the same cast as The Naked Mile, it was actually a fair bit better. There was a bit more plot to play with, and the focus being shifted slightly away from Erik and towards the other characters meant that we weren’t faced with his lack of personality for too long. There’s all the sex and slapstick you’d expect from American Pie, but it really needs something else to be as good as Band Camp, and a lot more to be as good as the originals.

You’ll like this if you liked : Dirty Deeds

Rock Of Ages (2012) 6/10

Starring : Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Bryan Cranston, Malin Akerman, Mary J Blige, Alec Baldwin, Tom Cruise
Director : Adam Shankman
Running Time : 124 mins

It’s 1987, and small town girl Sherrie Christian (Hough) moves to the big city in search of fulfilling her dream of becoming a famous singer. There she meets Drew Boley (Boneta), a young city boy with a similar dream, who works in The Bourbon Room for club owner Dennis Dupree (Baldwin). Realising that he is deep in debt, owner Dupree decides to try one last-ditch attempt at making a profit, and invites rock legend Stacee Jaxx (Cruise) to perform one last concert with his band Arsenal before he goes solo.

Fans of 80s rock music will love this musical that honours the decade that fashion forgot, and gives us a few laughs along the way. The problem is there are too few laughs, and the musical numbers at time feel forces and not as natural as in some of the more classic musicals. This is worth watching if you are a child of the 80s, if only for the nostalgia, otherwise steer clear.

You’ll like this if you liked : Hairspray

Feast Of Love (2007) 5/10

Starring : Morgan Freeman, Greg Kinnear, Radha Mitchell, Billy Burke, Selma Blair
Director : Robert Benton
Running Time : 102 mins

Bradley Smith (Kinnear) is devastated when his wife of eleven years, Kathryn (Blair), leaves him for another woman, so he attempts to move on with his life and find love with his second wife, Diana (Mitchell). However, she also cheats on him, and poor Bradley has something of a breakdown. As these events unfold, other couples that frequent Bradley’s cafe also suffer similar ups and downs.

This is a half-assed attempt at making an ensemble cast movie and ends up focussing mostly on Greg Kinnear. The fact that there are other stories in the mix is almost just coincidence, and the writers don’t seem to really care for the rest of the cast. There’s an unusual amount of nude sex scenes, most of which seem unnecessary to the plot, and they don’t help to progress the story which suffers from being mediocre and ill-conceived.

You’ll like this if you liked : Closer

Chill Out Scooby-Doo! (2007) 6/10

Starring : Frank Welker, Casey Kasem, Mindy Cohn, Grey DeLisle
Director : Joe Sichta
Running Time : 72 mins

In the eleventh of the direct to video Scooby-Doo series, Shaggy (Kasem) and Scooby-Doo (Welker) are on a flight to Paris but accidentally end up in the Himalayas. They discover that the area that they’ve landed in is being abandoned because of sightings of an abominable snowman in the area

Fans of Shaggy and Scooby will love this movie that almost entirely focuses on the two of them. The interesting fact for this movie is that the villain isn’t really a villain and is actually trying to do something good, but clearly the makers of these movies are looking back at the old successful shows and taking ideas from them – the idea of a yeti or snowman has been used many times in the old series. Granted it wasn’t as good as some of the movies, but it is still fun to watch.

You’ll like this if you liked : Aloha, Scooby-Doo!

Hardwired (2009) 5/10

Starring : Cuba Gooding Jr, Michael Ironside, Tatiana Maslany, Juan Riedinger, Val Kilmer
Director : Ernie Barbarash
Running Time : 94 mins

Luke Gibson (Gooding Jr) is involved in a car accident which kills his wife and unborn child. He is critically injured, but his life is saved through some experimental surgery performed by the Hope Corporation, but the surgery involves the use of a cortical implant that beams advertising directly into his brain. Gibson soon discovers that he is part of a secret experiment into forced purchasing, where adverts pester people until they either make a purchase or their heads explode.

This is a premise that I’m sure has been done many times before, and I’m sure it’s been done better. It’s almost like Total Recall or Cypher, except we already know what the main protagonist’s life was like before. Gooding isn’t that great in his role, and Kilmer’s attempts to seem megalomaniacal are pretty awful.

You’ll like this if you liked : Cypher

Ted (2012) 5/10

Starring : Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane
Director : Seth MacFarlane
Running Time : 106 mins

As a child, John Bennet (Wahlberg) makes a Christmas wish for his stuffed bear Ted (MacFarlane) to come to life. When this comes true they become inseparable friends, but as the years pass by, John starts to wonder if maybe Ted should start to try and make a life of his own, especially when John decides to move in with his girlfriend Lori Collins (Kunis).

For a movie that looked so good from the trailers, and had so much promise, I should have known better than to think this would be brilliant. As usual, everything Seth MacFarlane touches turns to crap and becomes either completely repetitive or just takes the jokes too far. And when he ripped off the Saturday Night fever scene from Airplane and then didn’t make a reference to it? That just annoyed me! Mila Kunis could have easily been given the line “That never happened, that’s a scene from Airplane”, but clearly MacFarlane thought that the children that watch his rubbish might not have heard of a movie from thirty years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I though this was a great idea, it’s just that someone like Trey Parker would have handled it so much better.

You’ll like this if you liked : That’s My Boy

God Bless America (2011) 7/10

Starring : Joel Murray, Tara Lynn Barr, Melinda Page Hamilton, Mackenzie Brooke Smith
Director : Bobcat Goldthwait
Running Time : 105 mins

When Frank (Murray) is diagnosed with having an inoperable tumour in his brain, he decides that his dying wish is to rid the world of all the idiots that are involved with or obsessed with the kind of bad television that seems to have arisen in recent years. Together with 16 year old Roxy (Barr), who he meets following his first kill, he goes on the rampage through the US, killing anyone that gets on their nerves.

When I saw that this was written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, most famous for playing Zed in the Police Academy movies, I didn’t have high hopes. However, this is actually a well thought through film which has over the top violence for those who like it as well as some well observed fake TV shows that might seem ridiculous but tend to be less ridiculous than the real thing..

You’ll like this if you liked : He Was A Quiet Man

Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World (2012) 8/10

Starring : Steve Carell, Keira Knightley, Melinda Dillon
Director : Lorene Scafaria
Running Time : 102 mins

When he hears that the world is going to end due to a seventy mile wide meteor hitting the planet, Dodge Peterson (Carell) is devastated that his wife chooses that moment to leave him. His own coping mechanism for the impending disaster is to carry on as normal, while all those around him slip into debauchery and rioting. The only thing he does want to do is track down his childhood sweetheart, Rose (Dillon), but when he runs into his English neighbour Penny (Knightley), he is drawn into a road trip to find Rose but instead starts to fall for Penny.

This is a really nice little story with some likeable performances from both Carell and Knightley. You can see why they like each other, which is rare in many movies, and their chemistry towards they end was very sweet and made for some touching viewing. Well worth checking out if you get the chance.

You’ll like this if you liked : Lost In Translation

Hellraiser : Deader (2005) 5/10

Starring : Kari Wuhrer, Paul Rhys, Simon Kunz, Doug Bradley
Director : Rick Bota
Running Time : 89 mins

Reporter Amy Klein (Wuhrer) is assigned to investigate a video tape that shows a mysterious cult calling themselves The Deaders that can apparently resurrect people they kill from the dead. When she tracks down the return address to a building in Bucharest she finds a dead body holding a Chinese puzzle box and soon discovers a connection between the box and the leader of The Deaders, a man named Winter LeMarchand (Rhys).

The downward spiral continues as the Hellraiser movies go from bad to worse. This one relies heavily on nudity to try and sell itself to its target audience, but the fact that this wasn’t even originally written as a Hellraiser movie and the Cenobite mythology has been incorporated into the plot in the weakest possible way makes this a pretty awful addition to the series.

You’ll like this if you liked : Hellraiser : Hellseeker