The Mortal Instruments : City Of Bones (2013) 5/10

Starring : Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower, Robert Sheehan , Kevin Zegers, Lena Headey, Kevin Durand, Aidan Turner, Jemima West, Godfrey Gao, CCH Pounder, Jared Harris
Director : Harald Zwart
Running Time : 130 mins

When Clary Fray (Collins) starts seeing strange runes everywhere she goes, she soon discovers that she is descended from a line of half-angel demon killers called Shadowhunters. Joining forces with a group of these half-angels, Clary finds herself launched into a magical world of good versus evil.

This had potential, and this feels like a world that is filled with possibilities, but the lazy execution made this a troubling and confusing movie. Nothing is really explained (exposition is sometimes necessary) and the powers of the characters are ridiculously convenient. Things happen to characters that are later largely ignored, and the relationships between the characters have little or no relation to what they have been through together, some of them being spelled out to us and others just randomly occurring as if from nowhere. I haven’t read the books, but I’d like to just to give Cassandra Clare the benefit of the doubt. Plus, carving runes into people’s arms? Talk about promoting self-harm!!

You’ll like this if you liked : Eclipse

Thor : Tales Of Asgard (2011) 7/10

Starring : Matt Wolf, Rick Gomez, Tara Strong, Alistair Abell, Paul Dobson, Brent Chapman, Chris Britton, Ron Halder, Cathy Weseluck, Michael Dobson, John Novak
Director : Sam Liu
Running Time : 74 mins

A young Thor (Wolf) has been told by his father Odin (Britton) that he is not to leave Asgard due to the dangers of the surrounding worlds. So, along with his half-brother Loki (Gomez), he stows aboard the vessel of the Warriors Three, Fandral (Abell), Hogun (Dobson) and Volstagg (Chapman), in order to journey in search of the fabled Sword of Surtur, but accidentally starts a war with the frost giants.

Again the team behind the direct-to-video Marvel animated movies has decided that their audience want to see kids as the heroes of their films, something that is even reflected in the animation style. Like Next Avengers, this is clearly aimed at a far younger audience and, because of this, alienates the older viewers from the outset. But if you give it a chance it is actually far better than Next Avengers and some very interesting character development for both Thor and Loki, plus a neat plot twist towards the end.

You’ll like this if you liked : Next Avengers : Heroes Of Tomorrow

Captain America : The Winter Soldier (2014) 9/10

Starring : Chris Evans, Samuel L Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Robert Redford, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Cobie Smulders
Director : Anthony & Joe Russo
Running Time : 136 mins

Having awoken in the present day after years spent in suspended animation, Steve Rogers (Evans) faces a world where villainy isn’t as obvious as it once was. When it comes to light that SHIELD has been infiltrated by its enemies, and that SHIELD director Nick Fury (Jackson) has been killed by the mysterious Winter Soldier, Steve dons his guise as Captain America and finds himself on the run, believed to be an enemy of the state.

This is such a different movie to The First Avenger that it is hard to compare them. Evans does a fantastic job in the lead, with Jackson actually doing some work to earn his credit in the movie. The plot, if you know anything about the comic books, is predictable but if you don’t then the set up for the identity of the Winter Soldier is pretty subtle. A great movie which, in many ways other than visual spectacle, surpasses Avengers Assemble.

You’ll like this if you liked : Captain America : The First Avenger

Justice League : Doom (2012) 7/10

Starring : Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly, Susan Eisenberg, Nathan Fillion, Carl Lumbly, Michael Rosenbaum, Bumper Robinson, Phil Morris
Director : Lauren Montgomery
Running Time : 77 mins

The Justice League find themselves facing off against some of their greatest enemies in the form of the Legion Of Doom – lead by the immortal super villain Vandal Savage (Morris) - and each member of the League is taken out one by one, with the use of plans compiled by Batman (Conroy) in the event that one of the Leagues members should turn on the others. They soon discover that the reason behind their attack is a plan to use a solar flare to destroy half of the planet, and the Legion wanted the League out of the way so they could complete their plan for world domination.

Fans of the DC universe will love this movie which, although it has an engaging character driven storyline, also features a hell of a lot of one-on-one fight scenes with everyone’s favourite characters. DC have gone back to the standard Warner Brothers animation. Which I like, and the characterizations are great, with many voice actors returning to roles they have played before (Fillion as Green Lantern is perfect).

You’ll like this if you liked : Justice League : Crisis On Two Earths

White House Down (2013) 8/10

Starring : Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke, Richard Jenkins, Joey King, James Woods
Director : Roland Emmerich
Running Time : 127 mins

Failed secret service applicant John Cale (Tatum) takes his daughter Emily (King) on a tour of the White House as part of an attempt to help strengthen their relationship, but when terrorists attack the White House and his daughter goes missing, Cale is forced to do everything in his power to save her. In his search, he comes across President James Sawyer (Foxx) and finds himself acting as his protection duty.

From the outset this movie sounds like nothing more than another version of Olympus Has Fallen, which came out in the same year, but having watched both I actually thought this was the superior of the two movies. The characters are more lively, and have more personality, and there’s actually a much-needed injection of humour in the movie that was largely absent from Olympus. Fans of big budget action movies will really get a kick out of this.

You’ll like this if you liked : Die Hard

Billy Elliot (2000) 8/10

Starring : Jamie Bell, Julie Walters, Jean Heywood, Jamie Draven, Gary Lewis
Director : Stephen Daldry
Running Time : 106 mins

While training at his boxing class in Durham, eleven year old Billy Elliot (Bell) discovers a liking for ballet, but with his father Jackie (Draven) and his older brother Tony (Lewis) stressing over the mining strikes he finds himself torn between his newfound love of dance and his loyalty to his family, and he is forced to decide between the two when he is offered an audition at the Royal Ballet in London.

This would have been a great kid’s film if all the swearing had have been removed, but this is still a good film even if young children can’t see it. Bell is great in the lead role, and the supporting cast keep things dark in what could otherwise have been a bright and fluffy flick. My only gripe is the ending – set in the future – so we don’t get to see Jamie Bell as Billy performing Swan Lake.

You’ll like this if you liked : This Is England

A Million Ways To Die In The West (2014) 7/10

Starring : Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Neil Patrick Harris, Sarah Silverman, Liam Neeson
Director : Seth MacFarlane
Running Time : 116 mins

Albert (MacFarlane) is a lazy sheepherder living in the old West whose girlfriend Louise (Seyfried) has left him after he backs out of a duel. When he meets Anna (Theron), a woman who is new to town, they come up with a ploy for him to win back his lady by training as a gunfighter, but Anna’s husband is the dangerous outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Neeson), and he doesn’t take kindly to folk messing with his woman.

After the disaster that was Ted, and the fact that Family Guy has been on a steady decline for over a decade, I really didn’t expect much from this effort. Surprisingly there were a few laughs, mostly uncomfortable ones, but not as many as you’d hope for in a modern comedy. As usual with MacFarlane, there were some unnecessary racist jokes and observations (since when is calling someone yellow a slur against the Chinese?), and the strongest moments were probably the scenes that didn’t feature MacFarlane such as those between Ribisi and Silverman which were pretty funny. Fans of MacFarlane (of which I’m guessing there are millions) will no doubt find this appealing, otherwise steer clear.

You’ll like this if you liked : Anchorman 2 : The Legend Continues

American High School Teen Party (2008) 7/10

Starring : Larry Miller, Tara Reid, Gary Lundy, Kayla Ewell, Lea Thompson
Director : Nick Weiss
Running Time : 86 mins

Adam Harris (Lundy) accidentally reveals the location of this years senior skip day party to principal Dickwalder (Miller), everyone hates him for ruining their good time. So, in order to make amends, he decides to organise a replacement party at his house.

Generally known as Senior Skip Day outside of the UK, this teen comedy openly admits to paying homage to teen movies of the 80s, specifically Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Lundy feels at times to be doing an impression of Ryan Reynolds, but this doesn’t get in the way of the story and character development. Fans of teen comedies could do much worse than check this out, though it isn’t as good as recent teen movies like Superbad.

You’ll like this if you liked : American Pie Presents Band Camp

Broken City (2013) 6/10

Starring : Mark Wahlberg, Russell Crowe, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jeffrey Wright, Barry Pepper
Director : Allen Hughes
Running Time : 105 mins

Seven years after quitting his job as a police officer, Billy Taggart (Wahlberg) has turned private detective and is employed by current mayor Nicholas Hostetler (Crowe) to investigate the movements of his wife Cathleen (Zeta-Jones), suspecting she is having an affair. When he discovers she is meeting with a man who is co-ordinating an opposing mayoral campaign, Taggart starts to suspect that Hostetler’s request for him to tail his wife may be for another reason when the campaigner turns up dead...

Although this has a plot that has been done to death over the years, this had the potential to be an entertaining movie. Sadly there is little or no charisma present in any of the actors involved, and there are so many clichés that you immediately know who the good guys and the bad guys are, even when you’re not really supposed to. My advice would be to watch something else, because this has so much unnecessary filler that it starts to distract you from what the main plot really is.

You’ll like this if you liked : We Own The Night

Children Of Men (2006) 8/10

Starring : Clive Owen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Pam Ferris, Clare-Hope Ashitey, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine
Director : Alfonso Cuaron
Running Time : 105 mins

In the year 2027, 18 years since the last human birth as women have mysteriously become infertile, Theo Faron (Owen) is called back into his life as an activist by his ex-partner Julian (Moore) when a young girl named Kee (Ashitey) is found to be miraculously pregnant.

Although this is a sci-fi, set in a dystopian future where mankind is soon nearing extinction, this is perfectly accessible by those who wouldn’t normally enjoy science fiction. Loosely based on the story by PD James, this has a lot in common with an earlier book, Earth Abides by George R Stewart. It was nice that the future portrayed in this movie didn’t look that much different from our own present, aside from the animated advert posters, and by making the movie in this way it brings the message a lot closer to home.

You’ll like this if you liked : 28 Days Later

Rio 2 (2014) 6/10

Starring : Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Leslie Mann, Bruno Mars, Jemaine Clement, George Lopez
Director : Carlos Saldanha
Running Time : 102 mins

Blu (Eisenberg) and Jewel (Hathaway), two Spix’s macaws that live in Rio with their three children, hear on the news that their previous owner Linda Gunderson (Mann) and her husband are in the Amazon seeking out another rare macaw so eventually decide to travel to the Amazon to help them out. But they soon find themselves in danger from a group of Scarlet macaws as well as some loggers who plan on demolishing their habitat.

This sequel to the wonderful 2011 original suffers from the fact that what made the original so fun has been totally ignored and the characters have moved on far too much. Blu and Jewel have a family which spoils the mystery of their romance in the first movie and their endeavours in the Amazon feel forced and at time pointless. Even the most diehard fan of the original will find it hard to find anything extremely likeable about this poor effort that has one of the most predictable plots in recent cinematic history.

You’ll like this if you liked : Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

Scooby-Doo! Mask Of The Blue Falcon (2012) 8/10

Starring : Frank Welker, Mindy Cohn, Grey DeLisle, Matthew Lillard
Director : Michael Goguen
Running Time : 74 mins

In the nineteenth of the direct to video Scooby-Doo series, Shaggy (Lillard) and Scooby-Doo (Welker) attend a comic convention in the hope of meeting their heroes, TV characters the Blue Falcon and Dynomutt, ans also to see a preview of the new movie. But when one of Blue Falcon’s enemies mysteriously comes to life and tries to sabotage the movie launch, the gang find they have another mystery on their hands.

Fans of the old Hanna Barbera cartoons of the sixties and seventies will really get a kick out of this. Not only does it feature Dynomutt and The Blue Falcon, but there are plenty of other cameos amongst the attendees at the comic convention. Like the early Scooby-Doo animated movies, this movies resolution features a nice double-bluff that really allows the viewer to get involved in the mystery itself.

You’ll like this if you liked : Scooby-Doo And The Witch’s Ghost

Odd Thomas (2013) 8/10

Starring : Anton Yelchin, Addison Timlin, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Nico Tortorella, Patton Oswalt, Willem Dafoe
Director : Stephen Sommers
Running Time : 93 mins

Small town fry cook Odd Thomas (Yelchin) has the unusual ability of being able to see the dead, as well as creatures called bodachs which feed off the death energy from huge disasters. When a large number of bodachs arrive in town, Odd finds himself investigating what they are here for, and hoping to prevent the massive disaster that they are here to witness.

I really enjoyed this adaptation of the first in the Dean Koontz series, and thought the characters were just as lively and likeable as they were in the books. All the nuances are there, as are all the comic touches, and the effects are reasonably good (you can tell this is directed by Stephen “The Mummy” Sommers). I’ve always felt that Odd Thomas had a lot to thank the TV show Dead Like Me, both for its premise and its visuals, but that doesn’t stop this from being a fun-filled supernatural detective thriller!

You’ll like this if you liked : The Frighteners

Ready Or Not (2009) 6/10

Starring : Christian Oliver, Seamus Deaver, Evan Helmuth, Jonathan Murphy, Fernanda Romero
Director : Sean Doyle
Running Time : 88 mins

For his bachelor party, Chris (Oliver) heads off to Las Vegas with three of his closest friends, but when anti-marriage Marc (Deaver) decides to fly the gang to Cabo for a few days, but they accidentally end up in Mexico where they find themselves stuck with no money and no real way of getting home.

I’m not sure if this came before or after The Hangover, but it really is the poorer sibling of the two. There is little to find funny in this buddy movie that has some pretty poor execution. The moral this movie tries to tell is a little on the weak side, and as for the ending, the whole this-was-all-a-test thing really annoyed me.

You’ll like this if you liked : Bachelor Party

Paranormal Activity : The Marked Ones (2014) 7/10

Starring : Andrew Jacobs, Jorge Diaz, Gabrielle Walsh, Renee Victor, Noemi Gonzalez
Director : Christopher Landon
Running Time : 102 mins

After spying on his neighbour who soon turns up dead, Jesse (Jacobs) sneaks into the abandoned house and finds black magic paraphernalia. Soon strange things start to happen to him and he appears to develop telekinetic powers, and it isn’t long until he and his friends realise that he is slowly being possessed by a malevolent spirit.

It’s refreshing to have characters that aren’t connected to those in the original few movies of the series (though of course they show up towards the end), and the twist on a person being obviously possessed from the get-go made this a little more original than the previous sequels, but the found-footage theme of the series is getting a little too convenient for my liking. Fans of the series will enjoy this, but it is a little hokey in places, and some of the effects actually made me chuckle, specifically the shot-gun moments.

You’ll like this if you liked : Chronicle

Dylan Dog : Dead Of Night (2010) 7/10

Starring : Brandon Routh, Anita Briem, Sam Huntington, Taye Diggs
Director : Kevin Munroe
Running Time : 108 mins

Supernatural private investigator Dylan Dog (Routh) comes out of retirement when his partner Marcus (Huntington) is killed and turned into a zombie. The killer was a werewolf, but when the werewolf turns up dead Dylan starts to suspect that rumours of a giant killer zombie in Louisiana may be true and that a group of vampires may be responsible for a valuable artefact that has gone missing..

Fans of the comic book on which this is based have done nothing but complain about how unworthy this adaptation is, but to be fair it was okay. I wasn’t expecting much from Routh in the lead role, but he did a pretty good job as Dylan, and Huntington was likeable as the zombiefied sidekick, but I wasn’t a big fan of Briem, though thankfully this turns out to be understandable. Fans of movies like Underworld who want a lighter version to sample will like this, but fans of the comic will definitely not.

You’ll like this if you liked : Daybreakers

Curse Of Chucky (2013) 7/10

Starring : Fiona Dourif, Danielle Bisutti, Brennan Elliott, Brad Dourif
Director : Don Mancini
Running Time : 97 mins

When wheelchair bound Nica (Fiona Dourif) is forced to gather her family home for the funeral of her mother, she finds a mysterious doll which was in the house when she dies. Investigation leads her to discover that this doll is a Good Guy doll named Chucky (Brad Dourif) – the same sort of doll involved in a series of supernatural murders years earlier – and when people start to drop dead around her, she starts to suspect that the cursed doll might be responsible.

Where the other Child’s Play follow-ups have been comedy heavy, this instalment is a lot darker and just as violent. The darkness works well with such a creepy doll, and thank God that Dourif is still available to voice him. Fans of the originals will enjoy this, especially as it comes full circle and explains some elements of the original movie, but don’t expect as many wise-cracks as there were in Bride and Seed.

You’ll like this if you liked : Dead Silence

The Apparition (2012) 5/10

Starring : Ashley Greene, Sebastian Stan, Tom Felton
Director : Todd Lincoln
Running Time : 83 mins

Following an ill-conceived experiment to contact the other side by a group of students, including one named Ben (Stan), he and his girlfriend Kelly (Greene) discover that they have let an entity into their lives. Attempting to flee from Kelly’s parent’s house to avoid the spirit, the two find the spectre following them wherever they go, but the spirit has latched on to Ben and Kelly and is haunting them!

I couldn’t figure out why the spirit was following them, when it was their friend who opened the gateway to hell or whatever. He seemed to have gotten off scot free while they were terrorised. This is a pretty weak horror, and it doesn’t help that it is aimed at a younger audience with its 15 certificate and cast hailing from the likes of Twilight and Harry Potter. Fans of Paranormal Activity should probably stick with Paranormal Activity – this is more like the bad teen horrors that came along after Scream in the late nineties and early naughties.

You’ll like this if you liked : Pulse

Hatchet III (2013) 7/10

Starring : Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan, Caroline Williams, Parry Shen, Robert Diago DoQui
Director : BJ McDonnell
Running Time : 82 mins

Victor Crowley (Hodder) is finally dead and Marybeth (Harris) turns herself into the police to report she has successfully killed him, but the police arrest her, believing she is responsible for the multiple deaths in the local swamp. It isn’t long before a recovery team is sent out to collect the corpses, but the evil of Victor Crowley may not be over as it is revealed that he is cursed to come back in his original form every night, regardless of how mutilated his corpse may be.

Although still not as good as the original, this (allegedly) final instalment of the trilogy is an improvement on number two, with the characters feeling a bit more lively and engaging. Marybeth is still pretty terrible as the heroine of the piece, and she does little with the role in this, but fans of the series will enjoy the continually over the top violence and ridiculous death scenes that leave little to the imagination.

You’ll like this if you liked : Friday The 13th Part 3D

Club Dread (2004) 7/10

Starring : Jay Chandrasekhar, Bill Paxton, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, Brittany Daniel
Director : Jay Chandrasekhar
Running Time : 114 mins

It’s Spring Break on the island resort of Pleasure Island, but the fun of the staff and guests doesn’t last for long when people start turning up dead. Everyone’s a suspect, and nobody is safe from the vengeance of the murderous Machete Phil – who is killing people according to the lyrics of a song by island owner Coconut Pete (Paxton) - so everyone bands together to try and figure out who the killer is and stop them before they all die..

If it wasn’t for the corny dialogue this could have been like any other teen slasher that has surfaced over the last few years. The villain is horrifically unstoppable, the victims are pathetically easy to kill, and the suspects are numerous. There is a lot that could connect this to horror sequel I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, from the white Rasta to the island setting, but the comic twists make this silly instalment to the Broken Lizard series memorable for not being as over the top as the movies of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

You’ll like this if you liked : Super Troopers

The Conjuring (2013) 7/10

Starring : Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Ron Livingston, Lili Taylor
Director : James Wan
Running Time : 112 mins

When they Perron family move into their new home and strange things start to happen, the call on the help of famed paranormal investigator Ed Warren (Wilson) and his clairvoyant wife Lorraine (Farmiga) in the hope of easing their mind that there is a simple explanation for all the oddities, but when they declare that the house is haunted by a particularly sinister spirit it becomes apparent that their lives may very well be in danger.

Based on documented events this starts off well but once we see the spirit this gets very hammy very quickly. Thankfully that’s what fans of exorcism movies seem to enjoy; lots of vomit, lots of violence, and lots of people getting thrown around the room. The back story to the spirit gives the tale some credence, and the performances – though over the top – make this a likeable horror flick that will make most people jump at least once.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Amityville Horror

Strippers Vs Werewolves (2012) 4/10

Starring : Adele Silva, Robert Englund, Billy Murray, Martin Kemp, Ali Bastian, Steven Berkoff
Director : Jonathan Glendening
Running Time : 93 mins

When stripper Justice (Silva) accidentally kills a werewolf at the club where she works, her friends and colleagues find their lives in danger when the werewolf community come after them in force, wanting revenge for the death of one of their kind. Their only hope: to beat the werewolves at their own game.

Wow! This was not a great movie. We’re talking about a film that apparently took just £38 at the UK box office! The acting is awful, the plot is pathetic, and the soundtrack to the movie just doesn’t feel right. The actors I did recognise are all famous for being in soap operas, which is never a good sign of quality, and as for the special effects, they were almost non-existent other than the werewolf makeup. There is some entertainment value, but on the whole this was pretty bad.

You’ll like this if you liked : Lesbian Vampire Killers

Cabin Fever : Patient Zero (2014) 6/10

Starring : Ryan Donowho, Brando Eaton, Jillian Murphy, Mitch Ryan, Solly Duran, Lydia Hearst, Claudette Lali, Currie Graham, Sean Astin
Director : Kaare Andrews
Running Time : 95 mins

A man named Porter (Astin) is being held in a scientific research facility on a remote island, being studied as he is the only survivor of a deadly flesh-eating virus that kills everyone who contracts it, but it isn’t long before he tries to escape. Meanwhile a group of young folk come across the island while on a bachelor weekend, and they soon start to exhibit symptoms of the disease.

This is one of those movies you have to stick with, because it starts off incredibly badly. As it progresses it becomes more interesting, and the characters (well, some of them) eventually develop some depth. You won’t be impressed by the script or the acting, but you might enjoy the concept as it is taken to another level, but personally they won’t be able to beat the first one.

You’ll like this if you liked : Wrong Turn 3 : Left For Dead

Survival Of The Dead (2009) 6/10

Starring : Alan Van Sprang, Kenneth Walsh, Kathleen Munroe, Devon Bostick, Richard Fitzpatrick, Athena Karkanis, Stefano DiMatteo
Director : George A Romero
Running Time : 87 mins

A group of ex-soldiers meet Patrick O’Flynn (Walsh) and journey to his home – Plum Island – where his lifelong enemies the Muldoon’s have decided to keep their zombified relatives alive until they can find a cure for their apparent illness, but when they get there they find the entire island overrun by the undead.

The sixth and so far last of Romero’s Dead series is something of a disappointment. There is little action, and what there is feels better suited to a comedy horror, considering some of the comedy deaths this movie features. Those not that familiar with the series can easily get into this, though those who have enjoyed the series so far will know this follows directly from Diary Of The Dead. Sadly this doesn’t seem to progress the story of the Dead, and perhaps if a seventh movie is made they could come up with a cure, perhaps one that ironically makes things worse.

You’ll like this if you liked : Land Of The Dead

Carrie (2013) 7/10

Starring : Chloe Grace Moretz, Gabriella Wilde, Portia Doubleday, Barry Shabaka Henley, Judy Greer, Julianne Moore
Director : Kimberly Peirce
Running Time : 100 mins

When Carrie White (Moretz) finally gets her period, she is terrified by what is happening. Having lead a sheltered life due to her upbringing by her super-religious mother Margaret (Moore), Carrie has no idea that what is happening is perfectly normal, but when she develops telekinetic powers that allow her to control things with her mind, she unintentionally sets into motion a series of disturbing a deadly events.

This is a darkly disturbing yet at the same time fun movie, with only one major flaw; this is far too similar to the original, even in terms of shot choices. The only real update is the use of social media to bully Carrie, such as when the video of her getting her period is uploaded to the internet. The prom scene feels very similar (though without the kaleidoscope effects)., and the only real change I can think of is the fact that Carrie openly uses her telekinesis to float about the place, something (if I remember rightly) she doesn’t use until pretty much everyone is dead in the original. This is worth watching, but I would recommend the 1976 version over this.

You’ll like this if you liked : Ginger Snaps

A Monster In Paris (2011) 7/10

Starring : Vanessa Paradis, Adam Goldberg, Jay Harrington, Danny Huston, Bob Balaban, Madeline Zima, Catherine O’Hara, Matthew Geczy, Sean Lennon
Director : Bibo Bergeron
Running Time : 90 mins

Projectionist Emile (Harrington) and inventor Raoul (Goldberg) join forces to help hunt down a monster that is terrorising Paris in 1910, with the aid of performer Lucille (Paradis), they soon discover that the creature is in fact nothing more than a giant harmless flea and must help protect it from the evil ministrations of mayoral candidate Victor Maynott (Huston), who wants to use the monster to scare the public into re-electing him.

This was a surprisingly fun-filled family movie that, like most kids films, takes the side of the monster and humanises him as much as possible. The action sequences are well thought through, and the characters are likeable and interesting, meaning that adults will enjoy this as well as children.

You’ll like this if you liked : Monster House

Insidious Chapter 2 (2013) 7/10

Starring : Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins, Lin Shaye, Barbara Hershey
Director : James Wan
Running Time : 106 mins

With the police investigating their home following the mysterious events that occurred there, Josh Lambert (Wilson) and his family move into the house of his mother Lorraine (Hershey). Wife Renai (Byrne) starts experiencing strange occurrences surrounding a mysterious ghostly woman in white, and Josh becomes possessed by the spirit of a troubled young boy.

This is an interesting horror flick in that, though it does use many of the standard haunted house conventions, the reactions of those involved seem far more realistic than in similar movies. Josh finds himself in a state of denial over his repressed powers of astral projection, his wife is torn between her suspicions that her husband is somehow responsible and his love for him, and the two “ghostbuster” –like characters actually lend some humour to the film. There’re some neat explanations for Josh’s odd behaviour as a child, and in many ways I thought this was far superior to the original movie.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Conjuring

Return Of The Living Dead : Rave To The Grave (2005) 7/10

Starring : Jenny Mollen, Cory Hardrict, John Keefe, Aimee-Lynn Chadwick, Peter Coyote
Director : Ellory Elkayem
Running Time : 92 mins

When Julian Garrison (Keefe) finds a mysterious collection of canisters in his dead uncles house, he asks his friend Cody (Hardrict), a chemistry major, to take a look at it for him and he discovers the contents has strange hallucinogenic properties, a little like ecstasy. They start selling it in pill form around their college campus, but it isn’t long before they realise that the zombie-like affect of the drug also eventually turns the users into brain-eating monsters.

This series has never been about serious horror, and this fifth movie takes all the horror clichés and elevates them to the extreme. The characters are likeable but cliché, and the scenario is so silly that it is actually far more entertaining than the fourth instalment. Fans of gross-out silliness will enjoy this, though the ending is a little bit of a sore point for me and kind of ruined the rest of the knowing script.

You’ll like this if you liked : Poultrygeist : Night Of The Chicken Dead

A Haunted House (2013) 7/10

Starring : Marlon Wayans, Essence Atkins, Cedric The Entertainer, Nick Swardson, David Koechner
Director : Michael Tiddes
Running Time : 87 mins

Malcolm Johnson (Wayans) and Kisha Davis (Atkins) move into a new house together only to discover that the place is haunted when Malcolm records their sex session, so they set up more cameras to find out what’s going on. When Kisha starts having sex with the spirit, Malcolm becomes jealous and brings in a string of paranormal experts to get rid of the spectre.

I was surprised that this wasn’t as over the top as previous movies by the Wayans family, and that it basically only parodies Paranormal Activity – with a hint of The Devil Inside - without slipping into any ridiculous unrelated skits. Granted there’s the usual amount of sex jokes you’d expect from the Wayans brothers, but this beats the other Movie Movies hands down by focusing on one target and not blindly lampooning every other movie and celebrity that has come along in recent years.

You’ll like this if you liked : Scary Movie

Silent House (2011) 6/10

Starring : Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese, Eric Sheffer Stevens, Julia Taylor Ross, Adam Barnett, Haley Murphy
Director : Chris Kentis & Laura Lau
Running Time : 86 mins

While in the process of packing up her belongings at the lakeside home belonging to her father John (Trese), Sarah (Olsen) starts hearing strange noises in the house and thinks she may be the victim of a home invasion when she and her dad are attacked, and Sarah finds herself running for her life from someone or something that is out to get her.

Olsen performance is pretty good, but the content of this film makes it difficult to follow. What starts out as feeling like a horror film eventually turns into almost a rape-revenge movie, with some pretty tenuous reasoning behind the events that occur both within the movie and prior to it. Personally I didn’t like the anti-climactic conclusion of this film, and those who stick with it for its interesting real-time direction might be just as disappointed as I was.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Uninvited

The Last Exorcism Part II (2013) 6/10

Starring : Ashley Bell, Julia Garner, Spencer Treat Clark, David Jensen
Director : Ed Gass-Donnelly
Running Time : 90 mins

Former victim of evil spirits Nell Sweetzer (Bell) has been moved to a halfway house after spending a considerable amount of time under psychological analysis. She finally feels like she is making some progress, but former members of the satanic cult that held her captive are trying to find her, and the evil spirits that once possessed her may be trying to return...

This is a decent enough movie if you think of it as a standalone and can get past the unintentionally funny title (up there with The Last Seduction II) , but the HUGE problem with this is that the majority of the previous film was a hoax. Granted, the girl has a deformed baby, but the spiritual possession was proved to be all lies. If you can ignore that, and ignore that the documentary style has been removed, then you might find this to be a sometimes suspenseful flick, but largely this is just an excuse to cash in on horror fandom without coming up with a new idea.

You’ll like this if you liked : Drag Me To Hell

Tremors 4 : The Legend Begins (2004) 7/10

Starring : Michael Gross, Sara Botsford, Billy Drago
Director : S S Wilson
Running Time : 96 mins

Its 1889, and the silver mine that is the only real income for the town of Rejection has become the site of a number of mysterious deaths. When it is discovered that a number of strange eggs have hatched down there, and rumour starts to spread that the inhabitants of the eggs are responsible for the deaths, the mine is closed down until the arrival of Hiram Gummer (Gross) into town, who decides to investigate further...

I actually liked this because it went back to how the Graboids were originally conceived in the first movie. By going back to basics, we manage to avoid all the nonsense of the second and third movie, giving them legs, making them smaller, and eventually teaching them to breath fire and fly! The plot is just as simple, with a wild west twist, and the characters and situations keep this fresh, which is surprising for a straight to video sequel.

You’ll like this if you liked : Cowboys And Aliens

Scary Movie 5 (2013) 5/10

Starring : Ashley Tisdale, Simon Rex, Gracie Whitton, Ava Kolker
Director : Malcolm D Lee
Running Time : 86 mins

Ballerina Jody Sanders (Tisdale) and her monkey scientist husband Dan (Rex) find themselves taking three children into their care when the father of the kids dies. They soon experience strange activity around the house and lead the problems back to the invisible friend of the children and a mysterious cabin in the woods.

Well, at least this primarily parodies horror movies – namely Mama and Paranormal Activity – even though it does throw in elements of Rise of The Planet Of The Apes and Black Swan for good measure. Fans of the originals will generally enjoy this latest instalment, and thank god it isn’t like those other movie movies that have been doing the rounds for the last decade or so. The problem is there aren’t enough horror references and too many references to other genres to make this a good scary movie, and the fact that there have been so many horror films in recent years to supply the makers with fodder makes this feel even weaker.

You’ll like this if you liked : A Haunted House

Dream House (2011) 8/10

Starring : Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts, Rachel Weisz, Elias Koteas, Marton Csokas
Director : Jim Sheridan
Running Time : 91 mins

Will Atenton (Craig) moves into a new home with his wife Libby (Weisz) and their two daughters only to discover that their home was the scene of a grisly murder many years previously. As Will complains that his family were never informed of this before they bought the place, he discovers some startling details about the murder that make him question his own sanity.

This is a pretty entertaining movie that – although at first glance it appears to be a horror – is in fact more of a remotely supernatural thriller, focussing more on drama and crime than on ghosts and ghouls. Halfway through we discover that what we have so far been lead to believe is all lies, and the supernatural element kicks in but soon becomes benign and the action focuses more on a murderer who Will has to find to clear his name. A fun though down-beat dramatic thriller that is sure to keep you guessing.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Others

Pompeii (2014) 5/10

Starring : Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jessica Lucas, Carrie-Anne Moss, Jared Harris, Kiefer Sutherland
Director : Paul W S Anderson
Running Time : 105 mins

A slave named Milo (Harington) is forced into fighting as a gladiator in 1st Century Pompeii. His only dream is to save the life of Cassia (Browning), the woman he has grown to love, who has been promised to Roman Senator Corvus (Sutherland) who wishes to marry her. But as he fights for her, Mount Vesuvius begins to erupt, threatening everyone who lives in its shadow.

I don’t know what the makers of this movie were trying to achieve by throwing a love story into an actual historical event, but the end result is incredibly ill conceived. Like Titanic, we know the relationship is probably doomed from the get go, but at least there was hope in Titanic. In this I just didn’t care what happened to the incredibly wooden characters, and when the inevitable happened (more than half way through the movie) it came as something of a relief. The fight scenes are okay, but they were just too few and far between, and the action sequences for the volcano (and for some reason tsunami) were ridiculously inaccurate.

You’ll like this if you liked : Gladiator

The Tall Man (2012) 7/10

Starring : Jessica Biel, Jodelle Ferland, Stephen McHattie, William B Davis, Samantha Ferris
Director : Pascal Laugier
Running Time : 106 mins

Julia Denning (Biel) is a nurse who lives in the sleepy town of Cold Rock. When her son is kidnapped in the middle of the night, suspicion falls on the local legend of The Tall Man, a mystical figure that kidnaps children and buries them in the old mining tunnels that run under the town, but the truth behind the legend is soon revealed, and Julia becomes the prime suspect in a string of child abductions.

This is like Changeling without the passion in the performances, and with a silly internet meme as the apparent villain but don’t be fooled – this is not a horror film. Halfway through there’s a huge twist, which removes this from horror territory and switches it a standard crime drama stroke thriller. This does suffer from being confusing at times due to the major plot twists, and perhaps this is too clever for its own good, but in hindsight it is a reasonably well made movie that keeps you guessing right up to the end.

You’ll like this if you liked : Changeling

Snitch (2013) 6/10

Starring : Dwayne Johnson, Barry Pepper, Jon Bernthal, Susan Sarandon, Michael K Williams, Rafi Gavron
Director : Ric Roman Waugh
Running Time : 108 mins

When construction worker John Matthews (Johnson) discovers that his son Jason (Gavron) has been falsely arrested for drug trafficking, he makes a shady deal with the DEA to allow him to go undercover to catch some big time drug dealers in return for his sons freedom.

What can I say? Ordinarily, you can’t go wrong with a movie lead by Dwayne The Rock Johnson, but this was pretty boring stuff. The idea of an ordinary man going undercover to rescue a relative by taking down bad guys has been done before, over and over again, by the likes of Steven Segal and Jean Claude Van Damme. Granted, this probably had a little more budget than the kind of rubbish those two usually churn out, but sadly it had little or no warmth and left me feeling dissatisfied with the predictable Hollywood ending.

You’ll like this if you liked : Dead Man Down

Astro Boy (2009) 8/10

Starring : Freddie Highmore, Kristen Bell, Nathan Lane, Eugene Levy, Matt Lucas, Bill Nighy, Donald Sutherland, Charlize Theron, Nicolas Cage
Director : David Bowers
Running Time : 94 mins

When his son is killed in a robot related accident, Dr Tenma (Cage) designs a robot replica, giving him the name Toby (Highmore) and making an attempt to replace his deceased son, but when his robotic powers get in the way of him behaving just like Toby, the robot leaves on a journey of self-discovery, facing danger at every turn.

Children and adults alike will enjoy this animated spectacular, with some good storytelling and some interesting plot twists. Killing off what appears to be the main characters in the first half hour of the movie seems a little extreme, but he lives on as Astro Boy and what develops is a two-fold story of accepting the death of a child and coping with abandonment by your parents.

You’ll like this if you liked : Robots

Bullet (2014) 4/10

Starring : Danny Trejo, Jonathan Banks, Julia Dietze
Director : Nick Lyon
Running Time : 88 mins

Frank Marasco (Trejo) is an unconventional cop who arrests the head of a notorious gang of crooks and has him sentenced for execution. In an act of revenge, the sons of the crook kidnap Frank’s grandson and blackmail him into recanting his testimony so that the crook can walk free, but Frank won’t take the threats lying down.

The acting is so bad in this – there’s almost a pause between each line as if the actors have missed their cue. And what a bunch of arseholes those women in the playground were – expecting Trejo to go and help some girl being attacked and then they don’t even keep an eye on his grandson! The directing is over the top at times, and at other times it is just plain lazy, as if the director didn’t want to shoot some scenes but had to in order to make the story work. Fans of Trejo may enjoy this, but the majority will think he should stick to comic action movies like Machete where we aren’t expected to take him seriously.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Art Of War II : Betrayal

Shelter (2010) 7/10

Starring : Julianne Moore, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Jeffrey DeMunn, Frances Conroy
Director : Mans Marlind & Bjorn Stein
Running Time : 108 mins

Forensic psychiatrist Cara Harding (Moore) is brought in to examine a man named Adam (Rhys Meyers), a man who suffers from multiple personality disorder that is both mental and physical. As she delves into the personalities that he embodies, she soon discovers that they are the personalities of murder victims and that she and her family might be next on his list of personalities…

This starts off as what would appear to be a pretty unusual psychological thriller but soon spins itself into a weird horror flick. Nothing truly horrific happens, but the plot with the strange entity that steals people’s souls definitely spells horror plot to me. Thriller fans will enjoy this, but if you want an actual horror with monsters and burtal killings then this probably won’t quench your thirst.

You’ll like this if you liked : Sinister

Grown Ups 2 (2013) 5/10

Starring : Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph, Maria Bello
Director : Dennis Dugan
Running Time : 102 mins

Lenny Feder (Sandler) decides that he wants his family to move to the town he grew up in so they can enjoy the childhood experiences he enjoyed when he was younger, but his plans seem to blow up in his face when he is faced by the bad parts of his past, as well as a bunch of spring breakers who want the townies out of their way.

If you really enjoyed the original movie, then this sequel may make you chuckle in parts. Sadly, the humour feels far too forced and a lot of it just isn’t particularly funny, and as for plot, well, there doesn’t really appear to be one. Sandler and friends just seem to be doing this movie for their own enjoyment, and to hell with what their audience thinks of the end result, which feels like a mish-mash of jokes held together by having the same characters, but here and there you might find the odd moment that may garner a laugh or two.

You’ll like this if you liked : That's My Boy

Batman : Year One (2011) 8/10

Starring : Bryan Cranston, Ben McKenzie, Eliza Dushku, Jon Polito, Alex Rocco, Katee Sackhoff
Director : Sam Liu & Lauren Montgomery
Running Time : 65 mins

Bruce Wayne (McKenzie) returns to Gotham City after years away to find the city over run by crime and corruption. At the same time police officer James Gordon (Cranston) transfers to Gotham from Chicago to find much the same thing. While Gordon tries to fight the corruption from within the police force, with many of his fellow officers angry at his actions, Wayne dons the cowl of the Batman and becomes a vigilante fighting crime in his own way.

I loved the animation in this Batman movie – clearly having a Japanese influence – and the origin story is perfectly presented and will please any die-hard Batman fans. The darkness is there, which is good, and Batman is nicely psychopathic, which is always a bonus. It is a little cheesy and convoluted in parts, but that’s what you’d expect from a comic book adaptation where the characters costumes haven’t been honed yet.

You’ll like this if you liked : Batman : Under The Red Hood

A Long Way Down (2014) 7/10

Starring : Pierce Brosnan, Toni Collette, Imogen Poots, Aaron Paul
Director : Pascal Chaumeil
Running Time : 96 mins

On New Year’s Eve, four strangers – Martin (Brosnan), Maureen (Collette), Jess (Poots) and JJ (Paul) - meet on the roof of a popular suicide spot, each having their own reasons for taking their own lives. They soon develop a pact not to try and kill themselves again before Valentine’s Day, and start trying to help each other through their painful experiences.

Like many of Nick Hornby’s books, this doesn’t work as well as a film, but it is still a decent watch. The actors work well in their respective roles, and the humour is nicely subdued where it could have easily gone way over the top. Fans of Hornby might find this a little light, what with previous movies such as High Fidelity and fever Pitch being much more energetic, but if you liked About A Boy you’ll probably like this too.

You’ll like this if you liked : About A Boy