Night At The Museum : Secret Of the Tomb (2014) 7/10

Starring : Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Ricky Gervais, Dan Stevens, Rebel Wilson, Skyler Gisondo, Rami Malek, Patrick Gallagher, Mizuo Peck, Ben Kingsley
Director : Shawn Levy
Running Time : 98 mins

The magical tablet of Ahkmenrah (Malek) that allows the exhibits at the New York Museum of Natural History to come to life at night is strating to corrode, and its magic is slowly going out of control. With the exhibits acting strangely, Larry Daley (Stiller) heads to London to visit Ahkmenrah’s parents at the British Museum, but things go horribly wrong when the tablet is stolen by Lancelot (Stevens), who believes it is the Holy Grail.

I’ll admit it, I enjoyed this movie. It wasn’t that clever, and most of the action was stretched out so it could last for the full duration of the movie, but it was still a lot of fun. I think of this movies as being primarily aimed at children, and as such they are actually quite informative while still being slapstick and silly. Fans of the originals will no doubt enjoy this, which feels like the close of the trilogy.

You’ll like this if you liked : How To Train Your Dragon 2

Mandela : Long Walk To Freedom (2013) 7/10

Starring : Idris Elba, Naomie Harris
Director : Justin Chadwick
Running Time : 142 mins

Telling the life of Nelson Mandela (Elba), from his early years as a lawyer in 1940s South Africa when he was forced to resort to joining the armed resistance against the tyrannical system of Apartheid which posed no protection for blacks, to his life imprisonment for treason. His stoic manner in facing his punishment becomes a symbol to the world, and his cause soon opens the eyes of the world powers.

This movie wasn’t bad, but it did have a limited focus. I would have loved to have seen more of Mandela’s childhood, and not get so caught up in the events that led to his imprisonment, although those are the events he is most famous for. There is little about his time as president, and if anything this doesn’t give enough detail about why the resistance group he joined finally gave up on peaceful ways and turned to violence. The acting in this movie isn’t that impressive either, considering the two leads are usually so good, and it might be a case that another writer or director could have done a better job with this epic story..

You’ll like this if you liked : The Last King Of Scotland

Sin City : A Dame To Kill For (2014) 7/10

Starring : Mickey Rourke, Jessica Alba, Josh Brolin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Rosario Dawson, Bruce Willis, Eva Green, Powers Boothe, Dennis Haysbert, Ray Liotta, Stacy Keach, Jaime King, Christopher Lloyd, Jamie Chung, Jeremy Piven, Christopher Meloni
Director : Robert Rodriguez & Frank Miller
Running Time : 103 mins

A femme fatale (Green) claims her husband is beating her to persuade a private eye (Brolin) to kill him for her, a gambler (Gordon-Levitt) tries to prove he’s better than a powerful senator (Boothe) at cards, with deadly consequences, and a stripper (Alba) employs the aid of a mobster (Rourke) to take out the man that killed her friend (Willis).

This movie has a couple of problems: one, it is far too similar to its 2005 original; two, some of the stories feel rushed in places; three, it’s in 3D! I hate 3D! Fans of the original movie will either love this for being a faithful continuation of the series or hate it for being too similar and for ruining their memories of the original. It’s not bad, in spite of some continuity issues with characters, especially Marv, and I liked the main story and the one with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but I’d have loved it to go into more depth.

You’ll like this if you liked : Machete

Universal Soldier : Day Of Reckoning (2012) 5/10

Starring : Jean-Claude Van Damme, Scott Adkins, Andrei ‘The Pitbull’ Arlovski, Dolph Lundgren
Director : John Hyams
Running Time : 114 mins

A man named John (Adkins) witnesses the murder of his wife and daughter by a group of home invaders lead by government experimental soldier Luc Deveraux (Van Damme). When he wakes from a coma, he finds himself being hunted by another UniSol named Magnus (Arlovski), but the truth behind the death of his family and his own connection to the UniSol’s leads him to question his very existence.

This starts off well and feels like it’s going to be an interesting story, but it starts to fall apart about half way through when it begins to rely too heavily on fight sequences to move the story along. Fans of the original will feel this is a poor cousin that does nothing much to expand on the universe of the movies, though it attempts to give as an evolution in the UniSol’s by having them become self-governing. I get the impression that there won’t be any more movies in this series, but you never can tell what direct-to-video movie might show up in your local store.

You’ll like this if you liked : Terminator 3 : Rise Of The Machines

88 (2015) 6/10

Starring : Katherine Isabelle, Christopher Lloyd, Tim Doiron, Kyle Schmid, Michael Ironside
Director : April Mullen
Running Time : 89 mins

A girl known simply as Flamingo (Isabelle) finds herself in a diner with no memory of who she is or what has happened to bring her to that location. On discovering a gun in amongst her belongings, she accidentally shoots a waitress and goes on the run in an attempt to piece together what has happened to her, finally realising that she must have been out for revenge against the killer of her boyfriend.

Although this isn’t the best movie I’ve ever seen, and quite a departure for director April Mullen whose only other work I’ve heard about was comedy horror Dead Before Dawn, Katherine Isabelle manages to bring at least some of the performance that made her so good in American Mary and Ginger Snaps to this and rescues what could have been a worthless pile of drivel with a weak premise. Thankfully she makes this at least a little bit interesting, and the twist at the end might not be predictable but it is a little bit unlikely.

You’ll like this if you liked : Memento

Superman Unbound (2013) 7/10

Starring : Matt Bomer, Stana Katic, John Noble, Molly Quinn
Director : James Tucker
Running Time : 76 mins

Superman (Bomer) is alerted to the appearance of a meteor that is heading to Earth and, when he stops it, finds that a robot drone is inside and that it has alerted its controller to the location of Earth. Soon Superman is faced with an evil cyborg named Brainiac (Noble) who plans on miniaturising Metropolis and adding it to his collection, including the city of Kandor, the capital of Krypton.

I loved the cartoony animation in this DC comics movie, and actually found myself believing the characterisations of Lois and Clark, although Supergirl seemed a little weak (possibly because she is being faced with the being that seemingly destroyed her home world). Fans of Superman will definitely like his portrayal, though the story is for the most part focussed on only two topics – Brainiacs’ attack and the relationship between Lois and Clark – and probably could have expanded to give some of the supporting cast some more time in the spotlight.

You’ll like this if you liked : Superman / Doomsday

Hercules (2014) 7/10

Starring : Dwayne Johnson, Ian McShane, John Hurt, Rufus Sewell, Aksel Hennie, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Joseph Fiennes
Director : Brett Ratner
Running Time : 102 mins

Hercules (Johnson) wanders the world with a band of mercenaries, using the legendary tales of his past to convince people of his might and that he can help them in their time of need – for a price. With his latest task being to help train the army of Thrace so they can prevent an invasion from a bloodthirsty warlord, but Hercules soon learns that sometimes helping people can lead to more trouble in the long run.

This has an incredibly slow start, and I was almost tempted to switch off for fear this would another one of those movies that are nothing but voice over and bad animated sequences, but once it got going it was actually quite clever. All of the fabled labours of Hercules are explained away as mere fable in some parts, with appearances of some of the creatures proving to be tricks of the light, which made this quite a fun watch.

You’ll like this if you liked : Wrath Of The Titans

The Tortured (2010) 5/10

Starring : Erika Christensen, Jesse Metcalfe, Bill Moseley
Director : Robert Lieberman
Running Time : 82 mins

When the son of a young couple is kidnapped, tortured and murdered, they are devastated, and the only thought that keeps them going is that the killer, John Kozlowski (Moseley), will get put away for life. But when he is sentenced to 25 years in prison, the mourning parents decide to take matters into their own hands and treat him to his own medicine.

Terrible acting and lazy script writing makes what could have been a decent revenge movie little more than mediocre. Both Christensen and Metcalfe perform weakly throughout the movie, and their plans for revenge – which should have been incredibly complicated as anyone who has seen and enjoyed The next Three Days will agree to – seemed too easy by far. Perhaps some elongation to the freeing of the murdered by the angry parents could have made their quest feel more meaningful, but their lazy attacks make this feel incredibly dull at points.

You’ll like this if you liked : 100 Feet

Taken 3 (2014) 7/10

Starring : Liam Neeson, Forest Whitaker, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace, Dougray Scott
Director : Oliver Megaton
Running Time : 105 mins

When his ex-wife Lenore (Janssen) is found dead in his home, one time government operative Bryan Mills (Neeson) finds himself framed for her murder and goes on the run in an attempt to clear his name, all the while being pursued by not only the police, but also the FBI and the CIA as he tries to figure out the real reason behind his ex-wife's murder.

Although nowhere near as much fun as the original, this is by far and away superior to the second movie. In spite of coming across like a poor mans The Fugitive, with Neeson playing the Richard Kimble role and trying to find the people responsible for killing his ‘wife’, this is an action packed, plot driven, and most importantly fun action movie that brings a nice ending to what is hopefully going to remain a trilogy of movies.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Fugitive

The To Do List (2013) 8/10

Starring : Aubrey Plaza, Johnny Simmons, Bill Hader, Alia Shawkat, Sarah Steele, Scott Porter, Rachel Bilson
Director : Maggie Carey
Running Time : 104 mins

Brandy Klark (Plaza) graduates high school as one of the most successful students in their history, but she never did manage to be a success when it comes to sexual exploits. So when her slutty sister Amber (Bilson) tells her how important sexual experience is, Brandy writes up a list of all the sexual acts she wishes to accomplish before she starts college.

This gross-out comedy takes the usual plots that are reserved for teenage boys and turns them on its head. Plaza plays the sexually inadequate Brandy perfectly and keeps the deadpan laughs coming from start to finish, with a superior supporting cast managing to make the unlikely scenarios all the more believable. Fans of American Pie will love this inverted sex comedy that feels so original in spite of taking a lot of story lines from other teen comedies and flipping them around.

You’ll like this if you liked : American Pie

The Maze Runner (2014) 7/10

Starring : Dylan O’Brien, Kaya Scodelario, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Will Poulter
Director : Wes Ball
Running Time : 114 mins

Teenager Thomas (O’Brien) wakes up in a lift with no memory of how he got there, and is launched into an environment filled with other young boys who are trying to survive and find a means of escaping their seeming captivity. Their only clue to a way out is an ever-changing maze that surrounds the glade in which they are trapped, but no-one has ever come back from the maze once they have entered.

I watched this with no expectations as I hadn’t read the books, and found it to be quite entertaining. It doesn’t patronise its teen viewers too much, not like Twilight or some other recent franchises, and it manages to keep an air of mystery about the maze itself without leaving all of our questions unanswered. Fans of series such as The Hunger Games will enjoy the life or death situations produced here, and may also like that the CGI seems to have been largely limited to those scenes that are actually inside the maze.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Hunger Games

Hero Of The Rails (2009) 7/10

Starring : Michael Angelis, Ben Small, Keith Wickham, Teresa Gallagher, Togo Igawa, Matt Wilkinson
Director : Greg Tiernan
Running Time : mins

While Thomas (Small) is racing Spencer (Wilkinson) to prove he is just as useful an engine as he is, he discovers a long forgotten old train named Hiro (Igawa) who is in terrible need of repair. Worried that the Fat Controller (Wickham) will send Hiro off for scrap, Thomas sets about trying to repair the old train, but Spencer becomes suspicious of what Thomas is up to and makes it his duty to find out.

Kids will love the new look Thomas, though older fans might be sad to see the disappearance of the classic miniature train sets that we remember from the 80s and 90s. My son loves this movie, and it usually keeps him quiet for the majority of it’s almost an hour duration. There is a plot, which is unexpected in shows intended for the very young, so adults won’t go mental trying to figure out what the characters are doing.

You’ll like this if you liked : Misty Island Rescue

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015) 7/10

Starring : Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, Gillian Jacobs, Chevy Chase
Director : Stev Pink
Running Time : 100 mins

When Lou (Corddry) is assassinated, his best friends Nick (Robinson) and Jacob (Duke) hop into the hot tub time machine with is dying body to try to save him by travelling back to find out who shot him, but they find themselves transported into the future, leading them to the conclusion that the assassin was another time traveller.

This was not as good as the original movie, but is still quite entertaining. The humour is even more low brow, and there are some moments that could have been cut completely like the virtual rape game show, but all in all this is a fun movie that, if you don’t take it too seriously, will keep you entertained from start to finish.

You’ll like this if you liked : Horrible Bosses 2

Blue Jasmine (2013) 7/10

Starring : Cate Blanchett, Sally Hawkins, Alec Baldwin, Louis CK, Bobby Canavale, Andrew Dice Clay, Peter Sarsgaard, Michael Stuhlbarg
Director : Woody Allen
Running Time : 99 mins

Wealthy New York socialite Jasmine French (Blanchett) is forced to stay with her adopted sister Ginger (Hawkins) in San Francisco when her husband Hal (Baldwin) is arrested for tax fraud. She finds herself thrust into a working class life which she feels is beneath her, and it isn’t long before she also starts to realise that her husband was cheating on her with anyone he could.

This is better than some of Woody Allen’s movies, which seem to be turning up more and more frequently, but I still don’t think it was great. Allen’s apparently witty scripts seem to fall flat, and some of the lines here just don’t fit in with the situations (specifically when Blanchett is assaulted by her boos). Both Blanchett and Hawkins perform admirably considering what they have to work with, but considering Allen is supposed to be one of the best I expected more.

You’ll like this if you liked : A Streetcar Named Desire

Not Safe For Work (2014) 6/10

Starring : Max Minghella, Eloise Mumford, JJ Feild, Christian Clemson
Director : Joe Johnston
Running Time : 75 mins

Thomas Miller (Minghella) is fired from his law firm after taking issue with a case against a pharmaceutical company, but when he returns to the office and witnesses a murder he find himself caught up in a problem that even his legal skills won’t be able to get him out of, and things get even worse when his girlfriend Anna (Mumford), who doesn’t know he’s been fired, comes to the building to meet him!

In spite of being incredibly low budget, and clearly made on a shoe string, this wasn’t actually that bad of a movie. The action could have been handled better in places and the script and in some cases the acting are a little weak, but the concept – although perhaps not the most original – is still a fun one to watch unfold and does have the odd surprise pop out at you and genuinely catch you unawares.

You’ll like this if you liked : Steel Trap

Jane Eyre (2011) 6/10

Starring : Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender, Jamie Bell, Judi Dench
Director : Cary Joji Fukunaga
Running Time : 121 mins

Jane Eyre (Wasikowska) takes a job as a governess at Thornfield Hall, working for the dark and brooding Mr Rochester (Fassbender). She soon finds herself forming a close friendship with her boss, and starts falling in love with him, but a secret in his past may lead to the end of their friendship forever.

The Bronte’s are famed for their depressing tales of woe, and this is no different. I always hated Emily Bronte, who in my opinion was a terrible writer whose only novel Wuthering Heights repeatedly treads over the same ground with different characters and similar outcomes, but this offering from Charlotte at least has a slightly more upbeat ending. Fans of period dramas who don’t mind there being no humour should enjoy this, but personally I like a little more comedy in my classics and this contained none.

You’ll like this if you liked : Great Expectations