Four Lions (2010) 8/10

Starring : Riz Ahmed, Arsher Ali, Nigel Lindsay, Kayvan Novak
Director : Christopher Morris
Running Time : 98 mins

A group of radical Muslims from Sheffield decide it’s about time to fight against the non-Islamic forces of the world with their own clueless theories about how to prove their ideologies to be correct. Following a disastrous visit to a Jihadist training camp, Omar (Ahmed) decides to take charge and organise his friends to acquire materials for making explosive devices, but Barry (Lindsay), a white convert to Islam thinks that they should use the explosives to blow up a Mosque, thus inciting non-violent Muslims to join their cause.

This is a very silly movie which, in typical Chris Morris style, succeeds in its humour by being worryingly plausible. The characters are brilliant – reminiscent of some characters from an old cartoon series called Monkey Dust – and interact in a manner that makes them rich and believable. Towards the end things get a little more serious, but this just aids to the believability of the humour throughout.

You’ll like this if you liked : In The Loop

The Cabin In The Woods (2011) 9/10

Starring : Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins
Director : Drew Goddard
Running Time : 92 mins

Five teenage friends decide to spend the weekend away in a remote cabin in the woods, but it’s not as remote as they think as there is a wide array of surveillance equipment set up in the rooms to spy on the kids. Those spying place bets on what demonic creatures the teens will accidentally summon from the relics they keep in the cellar, and when they find a weird diary one of them reads from it out loud and brings forth a horde of killer zombies.

This is such a clever idea – taking all the annoying stereotypes that have arisen over the years in horror films and making it into a lucky dip. The characters have been drugged to act like the kind of characters all horror films have, which covers the unoriginal character aspect of the movie, and the last half hour really pays off with the multiple movie monsters going on the rampage. The option for multiple sequels is endless, which is why I hope there isn’t one. As a stand-alone movie this is awesome, but it would lose its originality if it became a franchise.

You’ll like this if you liked : Tucker And Dale Vs Evil

Battleship (2012) 7/10

Starring : Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson
Director : Peter Berg
Running Time : 132 mins

Habitual slacker Alex Hopper (Kitsch) is forced by his brother Stone (Skarsgard) to join the navy in the hope that it will straighten him out, but Alex’s issues soon get put on the back burner when aliens respond to a signal with an electromagnetic pulse that disrupts all of Earth’s radio signals, leaving all ships blind to the alien attacks unless they are in direct line of sight.

Considering all the bad press I’d heard about this movie, and the fact that it is based on a board game, it wasn’t too bad. There’s actual characters in the film, and although most of the events are predictable, there is plenty of action for those who love that kind of thing, as well as some humour from not only supporting cast member Hamish Linklater (most famous for The new Adventures of Old Christine), but surprisingly from lead actor Taylor Kitsch himself. This is worth checking out

You’ll like this if you liked : Transformers

Funny People (2009) 8/10

Starring : Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman
Director : Judd Apatow
Running Time : 153 mins

When highly successful stand-up comic and movie star George Simmons (Sandler) discovers he has an inoperable form of leukaemia, he starts to think about how he has wasted his life and managed to lose the love of his life, Laura (Mann). One night, while performing at the Improv, he runs into fellow wannabe comedian Ira Wright (Rogen), and employs him as his personal assistant to give him someone to talk to about his issues.

This is actually a thoughtful and touching movie – something I’d have thought Sandler incapable of – but as we know, Apatow likes to combine cock jokes with drama. Fans of Rogen will be surprised at how much he underplays his part in the movie, and those who hate Sandler will be surprised at how good he is in this. This is a definite must for anyone who loves stand-up comedy, but be warned – the runtime is incredibly long.

You’ll like this if you liked : 50/50

Gabriel (2007) 5/10

Starring : Andy Whitfield, Dwaine Stevenson, Samantha Noble
Director : Shane Abbess
Running Time : 115 mins

Gabriel (Whitfield) is one of seven arc angels tasked with the challenge of maintaining the lives of those living in purgatory, but in opposition to him are the seven fallen soldiers whose task is to keep purgatory as dark as they can. Currently they are succeeding, but Gabriel decides to do something about it.

For a movie with such a small budget, this looked pretty good, but sadly the story was boring and predictable and really didn’t do anything for me. The acting was hammy, all the characters looked too much alike (if not for coloured contacts I’d have really been confused), and the ending was as corny as you can get.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Crow

This Means War (2012) 6/10

Starring : Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, Tom Hardy
Director : McG
Running Time : 98 mins

When divorcee Tuck Hansen (Hardy) decides it’s about time he re-entered the dating field, he signs up for online dating and meets product tester Lauren Scott (Witherspoon). The two hit it off, but on the way home from her date Lauren runs into Frank Foster (Pine), Hansen’s colleague. Things seem like they couldn’t get worse, except Hansen and Foster are both CIA undercover agents…

This was okay, even for a McG movie, and the characters were reminiscent of those from Bad Boys for some reason, but everything came together a little too smoothly for my liking and with everyone perfectly happy towards the end of the movie it just felt like nothing important had happened. Fans of Witherspoon might actually dislike her in this as she cheats on her two beaus and only gets concerned when she finds out they know each other and accuses them of playing games. That’s a little hypocritical if you ask me.

You’ll like this if you liked : Killers

Half Past Dead (2002) 5/10

Starring : Steven Seagal, Morris Chestnut, Ja Rule
Director : Don Michael Paul
Running Time : 98 mins

Criminal car thief Sascha Petrosevitch (Seagal) goes undercover in the newly reopened Alcatraz prison to find information to convict those responsible for the death of his wife, but he finds himself in a whole heap of trouble when a group calling themselves the 49ers get onto Alcatraz Island to take control of the penitentiary and locate a prisoner who is rumoured to know the location of $200 million in gold.

Seagal seems to have a nasty habit of making movies with rappers in them – or it might just be that rappers enjoy making ridiculous heist movies and want to stereotype themselves as criminals. This movie wasn’t great, and the plot was pretty unfeasible and felt forced in places, but fans of Seagal could do worse than this action flick, although there’s a little less action than usual from ole Stevie-boy.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Rock

35 And Ticking (2011) 6/10

Starring : Tamala Jones, Nicole Ari Parker, Kevin Hart, Keith Robinson, Darius McCrary, Meagan Good
Director : Russ Parr
Running Time : 112 mins

Victoria (Jones) is married and her husband doesn’t want kids; Phil (Robinson) is already married but his wife doesn’t want kids; Zenobia (Parker) is still single and is too fussy to find a man; and Clevon (Hart) is too much of a geek to actually manage to land himself a woman. Together these four thirty-somethings struggle to contain their biological clocks as they start to realise that if they don’t have kids soon, it might be too late.

This movie sounds like an interesting concept, but the scenarios are too convoluted for my liking. All the men in this film are pretty much hateful - every one of them a player - and the men that are nice in the movie, well, nobody wants them. This is to me less an insight into how people cope with their biological clocks and more about how people are too picky and can never find the right person even if they are right in front of them.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Last Kiss

Fish Tank (2009) 7/10

Starring : Katie Jarvis, Michael Fassbender, Kierston Wareing
Director : Andrea Arnold
Running Time : 118 mins

Mia (Jarvis) is a violent minded fifteen-year-old who has been kicked out of school and spends most of her time wandering aimlessly around the Essex housing estate in which she lives. When her mum gets a new boyfriend, Connor (Fassbender), she starts to change her ways as he inspires her to act on her real passion – dancing.

This started off rather annoyingly with stereotypical teenaged estate kids acting like idiots and fighting and swearing for no reason, but once Fassbender showed up and started interacting with Jarvis the movie became something different. It’s a shame that the obvious has to happen, but director Andrea Arnold manages to handle it in an adult fashion and ensures that the story isn’t just about sex.

You’ll like this if you liked : Albatross

The Pirates : Band Of Misfits (2012) 8/10

Starring : Hugh Grant, Martin Freeman, Imelda Staunton, David Tennant
Director : Peter Lord
Running Time : 89 mins

Pirate Captain (Grant) would love nothing more than to win the much coveted Pirate Of The Year Award; unfortunately he and his crew are useless and have practically no booty. However, when they meet Charles Darwin (Tennant) and discover that the ships parrot is in fact a dodo, they see an opportunity to make money from the Scientist Of The Year Award and claim it as booty to win the Pirates Award.

This is a very good kids film, filled with visual humour and wonderful characters that don’t even need names to be effective. Hugh Grant camps it up as the pirate who wants nothing more than to be popular, and his surprisingly loyal crew – including a woman disguised as a man (a subject that is never directly addressed throughout the movie) – really manage to make us route for the pirate who can’t be all bad if so many people are in his favour. Fans of Aardman Animation will know what to expect, and will be pleased to know that what they expect is exactly what is delivered.

You’ll like this if you liked : Wallace And Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit

Unknown (2011) 8/10

Starring : Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones, Aidan Quinn
Director : Jaume Collet-Serra
Running Time : 114 mins

When Dr Martin Harris (Neeson) is involved in a car accident while on a conference trip to Berlin, he wakes four days later to discover that no-one recognises him – not even his wife Elizabeth (Jones) - and that another man (Quinn) has taken his place. The only person who believes him is the cabbie he was in the crash with - Gina (Kruger) – but it isn’t long before Martin starts to realise that he might not be Martin Harris either…

This was a surprisingly effective political thriller, with plenty of action and lots of intrigue. Neeson seems to be playing pretty much the same character he plays in Taken, but he manages to portray his frustration and anger at the situation with good effect, with Kruger putting in a good performance in his support. January Jones wasn’t great in this, and the scene with her not recognising Neeson when she meets him for what she claims is the first time could have been played out much better.

You’ll like this if you liked : The Interpreter

Contraband (2012) 7/10

Starring : Mark Wahlberg, Giovanni Ribisi, Ben Foster, Kate Beckinsale, Caleb Landry Jones
Director : Baltasar Kormakur
Running Time : 110 mins

Ex-smuggler Chris Farraday (Wahlberg) is forced back into his old criminal ways when his brother-in-law Andy (Landry Jones) disposes of $700,000 worth of drugs that belong to his boss Tim Briggs (Ribisi), and Briggs threatens to kill him if he doesn’t get his money back. With help from his old smuggling buddy Sebastian Abney (Foster), Farraday joins the crew of a cargo ship bound for Panama where he plans on buying $10 million in fake money.

This is a typical heist movie like Ocean’s Eleven or Fast Five, but with a twist. Having the smugglers working in an attempt to save a relative may not be an original idea, but it is used to good effect in what could otherwise have been a pretty run of the mill thriller, although Ribisi does a fantastically sinister job as the villain of the piece.

You’ll like this if you liked : We Own The Night

A Beautiful Mind (2001) 8/10

Starring : Russell Crowe, Ed Harris, Jennifer Connelly, Christopher Plummer, Paul Bettany
Director : Ron Howard
Running Time : 136 mins

It’s 1947, and genius mathematics student John Nash (Crowe) is snapped up from his studies at Princeton to work in cryptography for the American government, but this work exacerbates his paranoid delusions and he starts to imagine that Russian agents are out to get him, and soon it becomes apparent that his delusions are nothing new when it is revealed that his old college roommate Charles (Bettany) never existed.

Russell Crowe is incredibly good in the fictionalised biopic on the life of Nobel Prize Winner John Nash. His performance is perfectly manic and twitchy for the schizophrenic he is playing, and he manages to make use believe he actually is seeing his delusions throughout the movie. Ron Howard manages to pull off a Sixth Sense / Fight Club style manoeuvre by having Paul Bettany’s character appear in scenes where he doesn’t interact with anyone as he doesn’t exist, but it is a shame that Hollywood had to resort to these untrue visions to try to make this more entertaining.

You’ll like this if you liked : Enigma

Anonymous (2011) 7/10

Starring : Rhys Ifans, Vanessa Redgrave, Sebastian Armesto, Rafe Spall, David Thewlis
Director : Roland Emmerich
Running Time : 130 mins

The Earl of Oxford, Edward De Vere (Ifans), loves nothing more than writing plays to impress the queen, Elizabeth I (Redgrave), but when it becomes wildly believed that all plays are the work of the devil her starts getting them performed using a frontman, William Shakespeare (Spall).

The well-known conspiracy theory of William Shakespeare being a fake and that another truly wrote his plays is an old theory that, in spite of its age, has never really been played out on screen. Ifans is very entertaining as the true Bard, the Earl of Oxford, and Redgrave does a wonderful Queen Elizabeth I, and the way in which the facts unravel on screen is very cleverly done.

You’ll like this if you liked : Girl With A Pearl Earring

Project X (2012) 6/10

Starring : Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Dax Flame
Director : Nima Nourizadeh
Running Time : 93 mins

It’s Thomas Kub’s (Mann) birthday, and in a vain attempt to become popular at his high school he decides, at the prompting of his close friends Costa (Cooper) and JB (Brown), to throw a party at his house while his parents are away, with their other friend Dax (Flame) chronicling the whole event on his camcorder. Things start well as more popular people than they expected arrive, but things soon go out of control…

This movie just wasn’t what I was expecting, and basically spends an hour playing music and showing people partying and flashing their tits, but in the last fifteen minutes things really get going as disaster follows disaster and Thomas realizes what a mistake the party really was. I did like that he realizes at the end that he could lose his real friends because of this party, and in spite of the slow pacing the end does in some ways make up for it.

You’ll like this if you liked : Superbad

Spygirl (2004) 8/10

Starring : Jeong-hwa Kim, Yoo Gong
Director : Han-jun Park
Running Time : 102 mins

There’s a new girl working at the local Burger King, a girl calling herself Hyo-jin (Gong), and school boy Go-bong (Kim), along with everyone else at school has fallen for her, listing her as Angel Number One on their website rating hot girls in town. But Hyo-jin has a secret – she’s a North Korean spy!

This is a fun movie that takes slapstick and combines it with the problems between North and South Korea and comes up with a great little comedy. Fans of Asian comedies will be more than happy to struggle through the subtitles on this sill story, and those who love romantic comedies will enjoy the budding relationship between the two main characters, even though the idea of a website that ranks local ladies is a little bit twisted.

You’ll like this if you liked : Robo-G

Sherlock Holmes : A Game Of Shadows (2011) 7/10

Starring : Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law, Noomi Rapace, Rachel McAdams, Jared Harris
Director : Guy Ritchie
Running Time : 124 mins

Sherlock Holmes (Downey Jr) discovers a link between a series of terrorist attacks and murders, including the death of his one-time romantic interest Irene Adler (McAdams), in the form of Professor James Moriarty (Harris), and with the aid of his assistant Dr John Watson (Law) and a gypsy named Simza Heron (Rapace) he tracks down the Professor and realises that he is investing in companies that profit from war and plans to create an international incident.

Although this is action packed and filled with fun fight scenes and interesting cinematography, the story is a little too convoluted and overly confusing. There isn’t enough detail in how Holmes comes to the conclusion that Moriarty is behind the crimes committed, and the ending of the film felt a little silly and over dramatic for my liking. In spite of that, it is an enjoyable action comedy if you don’t think about things too much.

You’ll like this if you liked : Mission : Impossible – Ghost Protocol